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Topic : 08/15 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Number of Replies: 743
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:19:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/26/06) If physical attraction gets you to the altar, what happens when your spouse turns ugly in your eyes? Michele says her husband, Carl, is embarrassed by her and looks disgusted whenever he sees her naked. Carl admits that if Michele looked this way when they met, he wouldn't have been attracted to her. What is causing Carl to feel this way? Can he look past the physical and reconnect with the woman he married? Then, Teri is newly married but asks her husband 20 times a day if she's hot enough. Why does Dr. Phil tell her she's playing with fire? And, Kenny wants his wife, Anita, to look hot, sexy and irresistible again, like she did when they got married seven years ago. Anita says Kenny tears her heart out when he tells her she will be beautiful when she loses weight. What's at the root of Anita's problem? Share your thoughts here.

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April 25, 2006, 7:51 am CDT

excuses

i am tired of all the excuses overweight people use for their appearance and also why dr. phil doesn't place a copy of his own weight loss book right in their lap!  aging has very little to do with metabolism.  what slows down your metabolism is lack of activity, calorie burning and laziness.  you don't have to be a size 4 to be beautiful but far too many women get their man and then just quit trying to look good.  men are very visual and yes, they married you partly because of how you looked when you were dating.  women should take pride (not be prideful) in their looks.  i want to make my husband proud when we go somewhere.  i don't  want him to be ashamed or embarrassed of my looks so i try to take care of myself--eat good, exercise, etc. and consequently yes, he thinks i'm HOT.  quit making all the excuses--get off your duff, quit eating all the junk, and be healthy enough to live to run and play with your kids and live long enough to one day be a great, great, grandmother! you have ONE body--make and keep it healthy, strong and beautiful.
 
April 25, 2006, 8:13 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Quote From: purplepain

The fact is that people DO gain some weight as they age. If you look at medical weight charts that are sorted by age, they do allow for a small weight gain as a person enters middle age.

I don't even think the woman on this show is fat anyway, I haven't seen it, but from the preview it just seems to me that she is victim to a bad case of celulite and her fat might just settle in her thighs and butt.  That just happens to people sometimes. Even some very thin people get chunky legs and behind. It's not her fault and it has NOTHING to do with what kind of a partner she is.

I find it shocking that a man in his 40's (I think that is how old this guy is) can't find sexiness in his wifes person. That kind of shallow behavoir is usually exhibited by teens. (Or should be.)
Some weight, yes but there are some people that will try to pawn off a 50+ lbs. weight gain as a part of the aging process.  That's what I was referring to when I said that age and weight gain are two different things.
 
April 25, 2006, 8:20 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Quote From: rtrouble

It's nice to see that some guys can actually be kind. A few weeks ago, I was complaining about my body and my hubby told me that  he loves me just as much as before and he said he has no complaints. In fact, he thinks I look better weighing 130 lbs. compared to 120 lbs.! He thought I looked too skinny 5 yrs ago when we met and he thinks I look healthy now. I am 5'3" and everyone agrees that a few months ago when I weighed 123 lbs. that I looked anorexic!! Beauty is about what you got inside and how you act on the outside.
It is nice to see that my husband isnt the only one whos love in unconditional. 
 
April 25, 2006, 8:22 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Quote From: wildwest63

i am tired of all the excuses overweight people use for their appearance and also why dr. phil doesn't place a copy of his own weight loss book right in their lap!  aging has very little to do with metabolism.  what slows down your metabolism is lack of activity, calorie burning and laziness.  you don't have to be a size 4 to be beautiful but far too many women get their man and then just quit trying to look good.  men are very visual and yes, they married you partly because of how you looked when you were dating.  women should take pride (not be prideful) in their looks.  i want to make my husband proud when we go somewhere.  i don't  want him to be ashamed or embarrassed of my looks so i try to take care of myself--eat good, exercise, etc. and consequently yes, he thinks i'm HOT.  quit making all the excuses--get off your duff, quit eating all the junk, and be healthy enough to live to run and play with your kids and live long enough to one day be a great, great, grandmother! you have ONE body--make and keep it healthy, strong and beautiful.
It is very true that aging has very little to do with metabolism.  Hell, if a senior citizen can become a body builder then their is nothing stopping middle aged people from losing weight.  I agree that men are very visual(I'm a woman) but so are women..... most of them just don't want to admit it.  I'm certainly not saying that looks are everything because they're not.  I doubt that the women on these shows only married these men for their personality and found their appearances to be unattractive.
 
April 25, 2006, 3:45 pm CDT

BIG BOY MAYBE YOUR NOT ENOUGH

You know something your wife is to good for you, maybe  your looks bother her but i c the love she has for you she wouldent say nothing like that to you cause she hs more respect for you than that. honey id get whip lash to divorce court, this is not love theirs so many men that will love you for you, im sorry to say, but lady your so pretty, its not him 100% its you 2 cause  your putting up with the mental abuse from him you need to find out WHY you put up with this menal abuse and send him packing so fast. you know whats love? i can tell you this isent if he loved you this would not even be a issue. im a heavy woman too im 234 lbs and if my husband said one wrong thing twoards my weight id have lots of issues plz get rid of him and find true love this is sad he will find so much unhappyness if this is the way he decides to treat woman he deserves what he gets trash ok love a woman for her inter beauty  Katrina from Ohio
 
April 25, 2006, 3:55 pm CDT

What does "Hot" mean...exactly

What upsets me is this term "hot" why are people, both men and women obsessed with beauty and attractiveness and what's hot and what's not? 

  

Why do I think that Mike Myers and Jerry O'Connell are "cuter" than Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp or Mel Gibson?   What is the definition and why do people obsess over this.     

  

Hollywood is more likely going to put Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and Mel Gibson on the "hottie" list over the two that I like. (I am trying not to sound judgemental, but it is true isn't it") 

  

My question to people all over is why are people obessed with the way they look, why are they always trying to change what was given to them by God?    Why can't people be happy with what they were given,  Beauty is only skin deep and no amount of make-up nor plastic surgery will in reality make people feel better about themselves. 

  

I don't wear make-up and i am in my thirties.   I absolutely think it is fake i dub it "fake-up"    Because when women put all that crap on their faces, they are not showing their mates their true selves.     My long time companion, a guy that i've known for twenty plus years knows how to make me feel good about myself.     My first name is Colleen, and he on many occasions over and over again reiterates my name means "Pretty girl"    

  

He has never told me i am ugly nor that i am not "Hot" enough.        

  

To the men who expect their wives or girlfriends to look the same after having children or after 20 years of marrige - Wake up!  Women certainly dont expect their husbands to look exactly the same as they did when they first got together. 

  

I''ve said my peace - thank you 

  

  

 
April 25, 2006, 6:25 pm CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

I find it enraging that some of you women have the audacity to say get off your butt and do something about it.  None of these women are fat, and even if they were so what!  I am ina similar situation, am not over weight and in fact, never was however my husband has not touched me for the past year because he says I am no longer attractive to him.  This is not my fault and something I can not fix.  You women need to stop taking the view of the rest of the world, that beauty is only on the surface and stop feeding into these ridiculous notions before we further damage the self esteem of our young girls.
 
April 25, 2006, 9:15 pm CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

The men in this topic obviously have a problem within themselves. Often times, husbands want their women to be something that they (men) are not. Women can't fill the void that a man is having. We can't read their minds or feel what they are feeling. My husband never tells me that I'm ugly or fat. If anything, he says that I am too hard on myself. I don't wear makeup and I only weigh 106 pounds. To top it all off, my hair color is red. My husband is very secure with who he and I both are and that is why he never says anything negative to me. These other men are not happy with themselves, so if their wife looks better then the focus of attention is shifted off of the men. Makes sense to me. 
 
April 25, 2006, 10:51 pm CDT

I feel for you...

Quote From: lillskr

This quote is my topic.  I didn't get to finish it because he walked in the room.  Anyways,  the hard part of all this is that I recently got hypothyroidism (Which really slows down your metabolism), so I'm pretty scared of all this.  It's just too bad he had to tell me his rules because it makes alot of extra pressure, even though I want to stay at a normal weight.               

Your message broke my heart! It is really hard to keep weight off and it can be a daily struggle especially if you lack support which you definitely do.  I do not have any answers but you have my empathy. Of course if he drinks more then 2 drinks a day or goes to the gym more then 5 times a week he could fit the unhealthy standards of an alcoholic or have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder all grounds for unhealthy definitions and ultimatums. However, tit for tat is probably more funny then an effective marriage tool. 

 
April 25, 2006, 10:53 pm CDT

weight gain

Quote From: wildwest63

i am tired of all the excuses overweight people use for their appearance and also why dr. phil doesn't place a copy of his own weight loss book right in their lap!  aging has very little to do with metabolism.  what slows down your metabolism is lack of activity, calorie burning and laziness.  you don't have to be a size 4 to be beautiful but far too many women get their man and then just quit trying to look good.  men are very visual and yes, they married you partly because of how you looked when you were dating.  women should take pride (not be prideful) in their looks.  i want to make my husband proud when we go somewhere.  i don't  want him to be ashamed or embarrassed of my looks so i try to take care of myself--eat good, exercise, etc. and consequently yes, he thinks i'm HOT.  quit making all the excuses--get off your duff, quit eating all the junk, and be healthy enough to live to run and play with your kids and live long enough to one day be a great, great, grandmother! you have ONE body--make and keep it healthy, strong and beautiful.

If being thin was as simple as so many thing why aren't we all size 4?????  I think anyone can be attractive if they take care of themselves.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I knwo many "good looking" guys that once they open their mouths become very unattractive.  I like to look at the total package...nice inside tends to bring about a much more overall attractiveness to a person. I'd rather be friends with an unattractive (physically) person who has a heart of gold and great personality than someone uncaring and cold.  I'm not a size 4 but a 14 but I know my hubby is never embarressed to be seen with me....I take care of myself, and try to be the best person I can be.  I also know healthy eaters that are heavy and I know some thin people that consume more junk than all my friends together.  You can't make being over weight simple...because its not.  WE arent all suppose to be the same... 

  

 
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