Topic : 08/15 "You're Not Hot Enough"

I'll never understand how/why husbands cannot talk to their wives with respect!  Yes, it's

possible to feel less attracted to  a wife who has gained weight, but why make hurtful comments, and insult her?  Why not help her find a way to lose weight while remaining kind, positive, supportive, and complimentary?  The things I've read the husbands on this show say to  their wives, said to any other person they  would probably get punched right on the jaw!!

I do have to say I also don't know why these women don't put a stop to their husbands’

disrespectful behavior.  If a man disrespected, or insulted me, he would only be doing it ONCE because I would  set him straight right there and then!!! 

Thanks so much for the reply  :).  I did write a post a little earler than yours and he said the rule is to keep me healthy (The rule still applies, yes he said he'd leave if I'd ever accept my body if I got "fat").  If I gain above ideal weight, he'll buy my food and make sure I work out harder (I eat pretty good- vegetarian).  The reason I was afraid to bring it up was because he's made comments about the "fat" around my hips and my  "cottage cheese butt" after I gained a little weight after we were married (I was underweight when we dated- not sure why ,  and was ideal weight about a year afterwards).  The thyroid thing does make me a little nervous (I've seen other balloon up after  that).  

I'm sorry to hear about your weight battle.  I hope you can overcome your obstacles and feel better about yourself, no matter what weight you're at.  

My DH hasn't called me "fat" names, but he does comment on how much by behind has gotten flabby and my legs are big.  I'm in a size 4 after 3 kids and I'll admit that I need to firm up certain body parts, but it depresses me so much to know that he thinks I've gotten "lazy" with myself and that "don't try" to look good for him.   

I love him with all my heart and would do anything in the world for him.  He just needs to say "you look nice today" or "thank you for the things that you do for me and the kids".  That's more motivation to look better than badmouthing. 

I'm trying to gain self-esteem by myself, but a little encouragement now and then from our DHs would be a wonderful gift.  Hang in there, you are a special person! 

that this world is looking at things from a really bad perspective.   

Looks get a guys attention 'Yes' because they are visual creatures and lust is a visual emotion, but that's no reason to get married.  If you don't 'fall in love' (real love) with the heart and soul of the person then you are doing yourself and especially the other person a disservice.  Marriage is 'for better or worse'.  By running down the other person you undermine their self-esteem and only cause more problems.  Low self-esteem can bring on other problems but this kind of treatment can cause the person to get into a eating disorder which would then cause health issued to numerous to list. 

Women do the same thing when they marry for security or a certain life-style.   

Where is the respect that you should have for the person who is supposed to mean the world to you?  What does this type of treatment say about the person doing it?  He (or she) is trying to build themselves up by the 'trophy' that they married?  Where's the self-esteem in that?