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Topic : 08/15 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Number of Replies: 743
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:19:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/26/06) If physical attraction gets you to the altar, what happens when your spouse turns ugly in your eyes? Michele says her husband, Carl, is embarrassed by her and looks disgusted whenever he sees her naked. Carl admits that if Michele looked this way when they met, he wouldn't have been attracted to her. What is causing Carl to feel this way? Can he look past the physical and reconnect with the woman he married? Then, Teri is newly married but asks her husband 20 times a day if she's hot enough. Why does Dr. Phil tell her she's playing with fire? And, Kenny wants his wife, Anita, to look hot, sexy and irresistible again, like she did when they got married seven years ago. Anita says Kenny tears her heart out when he tells her she will be beautiful when she loses weight. What's at the root of Anita's problem? Share your thoughts here.

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April 21, 2006, 12:53 pm CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

I am thankful for a husband who loves me unconditionally even after 13 years of marriage and two beautiful little girls, he is still atrracted to me and loves me for who I am. And yes, I have gained a few lbs and even after my second child (age 3), I still can't fit into my clothes from back then. He has never told me that I would be more beautiful for whatever reasons, he has never degraded me. He is true to His words, love and committment. Spouses, love and respect one another unconditionally, otherwise, you will never be happy.
 
April 22, 2006, 4:40 am CDT

what???

haven't seen the  show but from watching the show i am already scratching my head--what is wrong with a few people out there that cannot accept that their spouses can't always look like they are twenty something? yeah, sure you can try and be healthy and all but our bodys do 'change' as we get older it has been proven--it's called aging and it seems like real ignorance to me if you cannot accept some as is.

parisfan
 
April 22, 2006, 5:43 am CDT

Doesn't surprise me

It doesn't surprise me and it sounds typical of men to be that way. Why does the spouse have to deal with a low life like that anyway? Couldn't she just walk away from him? Oh yea I forgot it's hard to get out of a marriage because of the money and you got to walk a mile in a man's shoes before you judge them. Cant' forget about that but I don't know how a women can live with a guy that says "you're not hot enough." 

 
April 22, 2006, 8:27 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

After having our first child (she is now 18months old) I am 30lbs heavier then I have ever been.  My husband loves me no matter what.  In fact it is me who tries to hide my body from him.  I was complaining about my stretch marks just the other day and he told me that anything that helped bring his daughter into this world is a beautiful thing....including the stretch marks!  How sweet can a man get?  He makes me feel so much better about myself....it is hard to imagine what it would be like if the one who is suppose to love you no matter what says horrible things about you and your body.
 
April 22, 2006, 8:29 pm CDT

I'm in a similar situation

Husband can accept my natural beauty, but if I ever get fat (Anything above my BMI- the ideal weight of what my doctor gives me) and I accept myself that way, he'll leave (He's a health nut- he hasn't always been though, but it makes me learn to control what I eat and eat healthy and since I got an ok from the doc- which I didn't have before, but now I do, i'm going to start working out).   

 
April 22, 2006, 9:16 pm CDT

Your not Hot Enough

Hello everyone, 

  

Now this one is really making me scratch my head...I haven't seen the show yet but I can only imagine.  Why do men and women think about their looks?  I have never looked at looks in my life, what makes me happy is if the man that I am with loves me for who I am inside and out.  Up until I was 40 I used to walk everywhere even though I had a car.  Now I am in a wheelchair, but now I find people look at me differently  (I guess that is life)  most of my life and my sisters, we have never looked our age, my sister was 18 8.5 months pregnant going to a ex rated movie and was carded, I at age 30 went to buy cigarettes from a different store and I got carded.   

  

The beauty that these men and women have (or had) was there when they got married but beauty is only skin deep.  Things do change in everyones body.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

  

I used to ask my dad if I was pretty, as far as I could tell i didn't look as good as my sister, we both have Indian in us but she has more so I find she is beautiful.  My dad always told me "I was beautiful to him, and that one day another man will come along and you will be even more beautiful to him ..than you are to me now".   

  

I don't know why these people can't just look inside and find that love that they used to have for each other..there is always an inside beauty and that is for your mate to find..when he finds it you will know.   

  

This also reminds me of High School..you know, the Head Cheerleader with the Head Football player, sure they look great together, but what happens when they start to age?  Things will change and no body can stop time and keep them selves the way they were for any reason. 

  

Cheryl (pandas) 

 
April 22, 2006, 9:29 pm CDT

how digusting

  I can't believe that guy was putting down his wife & said he loves beef. 

I would be filing for a divorce as soon as the plane landed. 

What a creep. He better look in a mirror, cuz' he sure wasn't all that. 

 
April 22, 2006, 10:16 pm CDT

I didn't get to finish my topic, so here it is

Quote From: lillskr

Husband can accept my natural beauty, but if I ever get fat (Anything above my BMI- the ideal weight of what my doctor gives me) and I accept myself that way, he'll leave (He's a health nut- he hasn't always been though, but it makes me learn to control what I eat and eat healthy and since I got an ok from the doc- which I didn't have before, but now I do, i'm going to start working out).   

^ This quote is my topic.  I didn't get to finish it because he walked in the room.  Anyways,  the hard part of all this is that I recently got hypothyroidism (Which really slows down your metabolism), so I'm pretty scared of all this.  It's just too bad he had to tell me his rules because it makes alot of extra pressure, even though I want to stay at a normal weight.               

 
April 23, 2006, 12:47 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

Sorry to say this but these kinds of women ( I haven't seen the show and I don't know them personally, but in a broader scope...) bring this hell upon themselves by marrying superficial men.

I hardly feel sorry for them. I have known a few women who are in situations like the ones discribed on this preview. They "bought" their men with their beauty, their currency is fading and there for so is the marriage.

I hate to be cruel like that but this is what happens to truely superficial people. Their relationships are hollow inside, empty, void...so when the beauty fades there is NOTHING THERE.

If you marry a man who is just all to proud of how you look and just all too happy to have "bagged a hottie" beware....
 
April 23, 2006, 8:17 am CDT

04/26 "You're Not Hot Enough"

I AGREE WITH THE SPOUSE THAT WANTS THIER MATE TO STAY LOOKING THE WAY THEY DID WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED, TO A POINT. WE ALL AGE AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, HOWEVER IF YOU GET MARRIED AND GET SO COMFORTABLE THAT YOU PHYSICALLY CHANGE ALOT THATS WRONG. I AM A WOMAN,  MARRIED 23 YEARS, 5 KIDS, WORK SOMETIMES 60 HOURS A WEEK OUTSIDE THE HOME, HAVE USUALLY 6 TO 8 DIFFERENT SPORTS TEAMS GOING AT A TIME AND MAINTAIN OUR HOUSEHOLD WITHOUT ANY HIRED HELP. EVERYDAY, I SAID EVERY DAY I GET UP AND MAKE MYSELF LOOK THE BEST I CAN. EVERY DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR I DO MY HAIR, MAKE UP AND CLOTHES! I MEAN WOULD YOU GO OUT AND BUY A $300,000.00 CAR TODAY AND PARK IT IN THE GARAGE ONLY TO WAKE UP 5 YEARS LATER AND 60 PAYMENTS GONE (BIG PAYMENTS) AND FIND THAT IT HAS TURNED INTO A FORD FESTIVA!!!! COME ON YOU WOULD BE MAD. THEN WHY IS IT ACCEPTABLE FOR THEM TO GET FAT BUT EXPECT THEIR MATE TO LOVE THEM ANYWAY?  I WATCH WHAT I EAT TO MAINTAIN MY APPEARENCE.  ALMOST EVERYONE I KNOW DOES NOT DO THIS, INCLUDING MY HUSBAND. HE DID THE "BAIT AND SWITCH" THING BIG TIME! WE HAVE SEPERATED A TIME OR TWO AND HE IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE DRESSING NICE AND GOING TO FUN PLACES, THINGS HE WONT DO MARRIED TO ME. SO YEA I AGREE, IF YOU ARE CINDERELLA OR PRINCE CHARMING WHEN I MARRY YOU, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER BE EVERYDAY UNTIL.................WELL UNTIL.  

 
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