Topic : 08/15 "You're Not Hot Enough"

 I offer this little story in hopes of giveing you comfort and emotional stablility you desire.

First I have a crush on a woman. though I will never let on because, I dont want to be some creep she avoids at her job. Her name is Dianna. I get to interact with her from time to time. when she started with her company, she was about 190. but she  is a pleasant personable person with blue eyes and black hair.  Anyway when she started there. people were very formal or very professional with her. I was the only one to  tell her my only joke to make her more comforatable. 3 years later she started exerciseing and dropped to a 125. man she was a looker then. everyone started to have anything to do with her. her attitude or personalilty never changed and when she started school in the eveings, I was sold on her!  though her weight loss was for a couple of years. even when she went back to 190 I am still sold on her. but anyway Its all about attitude. to me she is still the same person the first day I met her to the day to the day she graduated and moved into a better career 2 years ago. LOOKS DONOT MATTER IN THE LONG RUN.

anyway In my simple understanding of this entireity/universe. I have figued things are this way:     we choose how we act ,we choose who we are, we choose our laws, we choose what is built and how it all works. most of the bad stuff we do. we do to ourselves and but on the otherside of the coin most of the GOOD things we do we do to ourselves. please take what I have written in a positive light. becasue writing about a crush I have is not a good thing. please understand we DO choose how we treat each other and your husband owes you a night where he cleans the tub,depopulates the house,  you to have a long hot oil soaking and a hour massage with a pleasant scented lotion then to Fancy candlelight dinner he made himself. I know I stick my foot in my mouth every so often ;)

I could really relate to the girl whose husband found her legs distasteful. I have never been hot enough for my husband and I use to weigh 95-105 lbs. Now after almost 30 years of marriage,  more children and a hysterectomy my weight has escalated. My husband teases, torments, and ridicules me every chance he gets !!! He says he is trying to HELP ME !!  Can't he see that it is working quite the opposite!!! He may as well be feeding me!!! When I get to the point of tears he says he only says it for my own good! Ha! he just wants arm candy to boost his own ego. I am FAT but far from LAZY. Where do these men get off putting their wives down??? None of them on your show we all that!!! Fat or not I wouldn't have any of them. MY husband is darn good looking and in very good shape for 60 years old. I wish we were on that show. Dr. Phil knows how to put the wrong person in their place!  I wish Dr. Phil could help us. Everyone wonders why I stay with this man.

( for better for worse)

I feel very sad for the families on this episode!  My husband is a wonderful man who has never made his 259 lb wife feel as though 1 ounce of her is not HOT!  I have c-section scars, hernia scar, and more.  When my husband weighed 252 lbs and was having health problems I did everything I could to support him with his weight loss and exercise program.  He lost the weight and his dependancy on blood pressure pills and anxiety pills and he has continued to successfully keep his weight off.  I also lost weight but, could not keep it off and although I feel very disappointed in myself he has NEVER showed that he even noticed the return of the weight.  I feel so lucky to have a husband who loves me for me.

I am so sad for the couples on this show today who have missed the value of having a partner in life!

men who complain about their wife's appearance do so because they are generally having an affair, and they want to blame it on the wife instead of taking responsibility for it themselves.  Sometimes they complain so the wife will leave them and then again it is not their fault.

I feel saddened for the first couple, mostly for the wife, shown on this episode.  The husband feels he has lost being attracted because of the wife's legs not looking like they use to.  The husband needs a serious WAKE UP call!!!!  He is so lucky to have her for his wife!  She is still very beautiful-- she could enter a beauty pageant.  And, she is also beautiful on the inside.  Their relationship apparently is not that solid.  He'd better be careful and start doing some patching up or he may lose her. 

Our society is unfortunately focused on physical appearance.  While looking good is important, it is just as important to take care of our emotional well being too.

I'd also like to comment that statistics show unmarried couples that chose to live together before marriage are no more assured of a successful marriage than those who wait until after marriage. 

The foundation of a healthy relationship is built upon friendship during dating and courtship.  Men and women need to be careful not to be overly affectionate before marriage, since our physiological makeup can dominate our emotions to want to focus on the physical rather than the emotional aspect.  I'd like to reference a resourceful website offering valuable information regarding dating and marriage:  www.lovethenmarriage.info