Message Boards

Topic : 08/07 Big Burden

Number of Replies: 365
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:21:06 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/27/06) Morbid obesity changes the dynamic of two entire families … and tears them apart. DeeDee weighs over 700 pounds and hasn't left her house in more than a year. She has become a burden to her friends and family by constantly demanding their help and company. Is DeeDee ready to get real and make a change, or will she continue to blame her weight gain on other circumstances? Also, her children explain why they resent their mother and feel hostage to her demands. Then, MaLynn is only 14 years old, but she already weighs 419 pounds, and her obesity is causing problems in school. Her mother, Shari, admits she can't say no to her daughter when it comes to food. Dr. Phil shows MaLynn how she can easily lose 86 pounds, and he gets this mother-daughter team to work together to save their relationship and their lives. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 16, 2006, 7:15 pm CDT

08/07 Big Burden

Quote From: purplepain

I shouldn't have been such a smart mouth, you caught me on a bad day. I'm sorry.

I think you do need to understand though that a person who weighs this much, this is beyond eating, this is a mental disorder, the eating and weight is just a SYMPTOM of a deeper problem.

To tell you the truth, if I didn't enjoy exercise so much I could easily be 300-400 lbs. I am 120lbs over weight right now but I love to exercise and Love to walk and swim and run around with my daughter. I also eat out of pain and depression, it's actually something I have recently owned up to. I always just blamed myself for my weight, but I am now seeing, I eat because, well it's a long story but I will give you the broad strokes, maybe it will help you understand.

I was molested by my half brother when I was a toddler. He was only 17, so the police didn't do much about it. My father kicked him out of the house. 8-9 years later he asked my parents for forgiveness and he wanted to be back in our lives, my parents said yes. At the time I didn't remember the abuse, I had dreams, weird dreams, but that is all they were. But then when I was 16, suicidal and cutting I went into therapy, during therapy my father told me and the therapist about the abuse, my father didn't know I didn't remember. So, I remembered, but for some reason it never bothered me that they let this guy back in my life. Then I met my husband, and he learned this story, he started to tell me how mad he was FOR me...I didn't understand, but at this time I spun into a depression, I started cutting again, I started eating and sleeping only, I quit my job and I gained 80 lbs in a year.

Anyway...from there it has gotten a tad better and then a bit worse and I have gained a bit more weight.

I have been doing some introspection lately as I am entering therapy in a couple weeks, and my husband, who has been my rock and loving through this whole thing, pointed out that I don't think anyone loves me. I don't think he loves me, the only person I know loves me is my daughter. And it makes sense...no one in my family has shown me love...I'm not worth their rage at a child molester. I see them get disgusted when they see things on TV about children being abused, but they didn't seem to have rage FOR ME. So of course no one loves me in my eyes...no one cares about me and I'm not worth the effort to love. I am going to therapy for these thoughts.

But when I eat, I am numb, I do not think, I do not care about anything but the food. Food is soooo comforting to me. I love to eat and I want to eat all the time because I bury my self in it, I don't feel when I'm eating.

There are people who do this with work, with exercise, there are people who refuse to eat for the same reason, there are people who get in fights, there are people who are artists...but when someone eats because of this....it's looked at in disgust because, lets face it, I'm ugly because of my fat. Ugly is easy to hate and misunderstand and put aside and ignore.

Hello Purplepain

 

  I didn't mean to seem I was going over the deep end in disrespecting overweight people here in any way. Ive done lots of reading on obesity. I'm aware of some things that cause people to get into that kind of situation. Don't worry about being a smart mouth. I'm not living a perfect life. My weight isn't perfect either......

  You made a good point when you said people eat cause of deeper problems. I fully understand that with 100% clarity. The thing is is that we have to find other ways of coping with those deeper emotional issues instead of eating.  Find a hobby. You can loose passion for food by finding other things to get passionate about. Remember your weight is also managed. I think Dr. Phil has a book on it.  Its good to hear your getting therapy. Seems like that relationship between you and your half brother needs some healing.

  One thing is you got to stop cutting. That is really dangerous. People who do it may not realize they can kill themselves over that. People cut they may only cut into the layers of the skin. Which is enough to inflict pain which is usually what they want. They deal with the hurt pain and depression they have on the inside by inflicting pain on themselves on the outside. I think thats why people cut. If you cut deep enough you can cut past the layers of the skin, and if you cut past the layers and into a vein. ... You can internally bleed to death and you can die. So think about that before continuing to cut.

  I hope you do well in getting the help you need, Good Luck

 
November 26, 2006, 5:43 am CST

08/07 Big Burden

Quote From: imcara

I was watching Discovery Health one night and there was a story about a man who had been bitten by a brown recluse and he acquired a syndrome in which his blood stream could no longer rid itself of waste causing huge (and I mean huge!) swelling. I wish I could remember the name of it. He had to go to a special clinic for treatment. He had gained well over 100 pounds.

 

Granted, this doesn't change the fact that this woman consumes way more calories than she should but there may be some validity to her claim that being bitten changed her body chemistry.

...except that in this case she was already fat when she was bitten by the spider.
 
December 4, 2006, 3:10 am CST

denial

Quote From: cvalley2

...except that in this case she was already fat when she was bitten by the spider.
At the time , maybe the only way this lady could cope with her condition was to blame a spider.  It is always easier to shift blame onto something else rather than have to do the work of examining your own motives.  I feel so happy for her that she can move about without dragging the oxygen tank.  I am so happy to see her smile.  She still has such a long road ahead of her but she is making great progress.
 
January 13, 2007, 6:42 am CST

I have hypothyroid

Quote From: nukemgurl

I also am hypothyroid.  I had been the same weight since high school until my thyroid went on strike.  Now it's very very difficult to lose weight.  I have a very good doctor who keeps things under control hormonally but it's just not the same as before.  Believe it or not, there are those of us out there who really do have a glandular problem!  :-)
Have they figured out what is wrong with you? I gained a lot of wait however they told me I have Cushing's Syndrome. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 26. I'm on a bunch of hormones as well. I have never heard of glandular problems? I have had my adrenal glands out at the age of 20. I would like to talk with you more. Email me if you want at cwolie@yahoo.com. Right now my hair is falling out.....talk with you soon!! Nicole
 
June 3, 2007, 7:51 am CDT

Weighty people?

As I read through these posts I am frustrated by the word "wieghty" people. I had been called fat, over weight, obese, heavy and many other words. At my heaviest I weighed 305 lbs, was married to a man almost 14 yrs and had 4 children. He was having affairs and I figured "OK I could lose weight and be what he wanted me to be which what I assumed was a trim, more healthy, beautiful younger looking woman. Hence, I had a gastric bypass after undergoing extensive psychological testing and being cleared for the most important reason, "living a healthier life style". That was in July 1998 and by Nov of 1999 I was 165lbs lighter, divorced raising 4 children on my own, looking in the mirror and seeing no beauty, no happiness, and wondering why I threw my life out the window. I don't have a baggy face, I have extra skin on my thighs, butt, tummy and on my arms near the arm pit. My ex husband said when I lost the weight I could get new clothes and we could go on a cruise. WOW instead I got a very different gift, he molested my kids went to jail and I got left holding even more garbage than what I went into all of this for. I love my children and I live and breathe daily for them. I can make myself look good and cover up the "extra skin" but I can't look in the mirror and see the "NEW ME" in a positive light yet. I do however recognize the "healthier me" and try to stay focused on that. There are many down sides to losing weight but there would have been more down sides if I had not lost the weight. Sure I'd love not to have the baggy skin and I'd love to look bueatiful but most of all I'd like to tell the man who likes "WEIGHTY" people that he needs to look that word up in the dictionary and then be practical with it. Here you go sir: weighty-
  1. Burdensome; oppressive: weighty problems.
  2. Of great consequence; momentous
  3. Having great power or influence: a weighty argument.
  4. Solemn; serious

I will not take aclaim to any of this as characteristics that I want someone to like.

Yes I want the clothes and cruise I was promised but more now than anything I want to heal get happy and show my kids that what I did was worth it all becasue now they are struggling with being obese and not feeling like they fit into the circle of life.

 
First | Prev | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | Next Page | Last Page