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Topic : 08/07 Big Burden

Number of Replies: 365
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:21:06 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/27/06) Morbid obesity changes the dynamic of two entire families … and tears them apart. DeeDee weighs over 700 pounds and hasn't left her house in more than a year. She has become a burden to her friends and family by constantly demanding their help and company. Is DeeDee ready to get real and make a change, or will she continue to blame her weight gain on other circumstances? Also, her children explain why they resent their mother and feel hostage to her demands. Then, MaLynn is only 14 years old, but she already weighs 419 pounds, and her obesity is causing problems in school. Her mother, Shari, admits she can't say no to her daughter when it comes to food. Dr. Phil shows MaLynn how she can easily lose 86 pounds, and he gets this mother-daughter team to work together to save their relationship and their lives. Talk about the show here.

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April 27, 2006, 9:47 am CDT

Big Burden

Quote From: purplepain

Still, no one has explained to me how a person's body can gather fat that they are not eating. This DEFIES the laws of physics.

You cannot make matter from nonmatter.  Fat is matter. You cannot get an illness and gain weight from it! You CAN get an illness that makes it hard to lose fat you ALREADY have...but you cannot be eating a healthy low calorie low fat diet and get an illness and gain 80 lbs....sorry. It's IMPOSSIBLE.


I may be off the mark here, if so,  forgive me.  I have a very good friend who was quite large at one time.   This person lost quite a bit of weight to become quite trim and fit through exercise and diet.  However, my observation of the "fit and trim" days was that to keep off the weight, this person had to run five miles a day, work out at the gym every night for two hours and eat practically nothing.   

  

Much of the weight has gone back on since then, but since I have known this person through "thick and thin" for thirteen years I sometimes wonder if with some people just have metabolic and glandular differences that facilitate weight retention.  Some people might just have a higher metabolic rate allowing them to burn off the excess more easily than others.  People should be medically evaluated.  This friend, with whom I have shared many a meal, does not appear to over-eat.  I, on the other hand (in my younger years) could "pound down" six chili cheese dogs at a time and could not seem to increase my weight beyond 110 pounds.  I recently went from 152 pounds to 116 pounds over a period of eight months.  And I have no idea why.  My diet has not changed.  I haven't increased my exercise patterns.   I feel fine.   So all I'm saying is be careful of blaming it all on the food.  Overweight people need acceptance, understanding love and friendship, not guilt.  Of course, the health issues associated with excess weight need to be addressed.  There is absolutely no doubt.  But a medical evaluation is necessary to determine the root cause of the weight to know which factors to rule out.  If it IS the food, then a supervised diet plan.   

 
April 27, 2006, 9:49 am CDT

Big Burden

Quote From: powers009

Sometimes a metabolism shuts down and a person can consume as low as 800 calories and gain weight. Metabolism enables your body to burn food as fuel and a persons who metabolism has slowed down no longer burns the food as fuel but instead the body stock piles it as in fat. This happens a lot with people who yo yo diet. Those that restrict calories in order to loose weight ie starvation diets. The body has a natural defense for starvation it stores food as fat. Hope that helps.
Yes!!! You said in one paragraph exactly what I said in a long pontificating message just now.  Yay!
 
April 27, 2006, 9:53 am CDT

Bottom line

This woman has eaten her way to 700 pounds -- plain and simple.  She may be genetically predisposed to be overweight/obese -- only meaning that she is MORE LIKELY to become overweight/obese than someone who is not predisposed, NOT that she HAS to be -- but her own eating and activity habits have put her where she's at.  She eats and eats and barely moves.  That is her real problem, not her genes.  She keeps a tub of M&M's by her bed, for Heaven's sake! 

  

I feel SO sorry for her kids -- she really has robbed them of a life thus far. 

  

And before any overweight/obese people on here jump on me, let me say that I weigh over 300 pounds myself -- so I am not some insensitive, "skinny" person judging fat people.  I'm fat too, and I owe it to my terrible eating habits and lack of exercise.  To attribute it to anything else would be a total lie.  Even though I am an emotional eater and have never formed a healthy, "normal" relationship with food, at the end of the day, I -- and I alone -- stuffed my face all by myself.......and then went and laid down. 

 
April 27, 2006, 10:01 am CDT

04/27 Big Burden

Quote From: powers009

Sometimes a metabolism shuts down and a person can consume as low as 800 calories and gain weight. Metabolism enables your body to burn food as fuel and a persons who metabolism has slowed down no longer burns the food as fuel but instead the body stock piles it as in fat. This happens a lot with people who yo yo diet. Those that restrict calories in order to loose weight ie starvation diets. The body has a natural defense for starvation it stores food as fat. Hope that helps.
Ok, that I can buy to a degree, but I still want to see a study on it. I want to see a scientific published peer reviewed study that shows this is genetic. This is something that has been bothering me a long long time.

I understand how starvation diets work but if something like that is going on in your body for very long you will become extremely ill. The body uses calories constantly, to breath, sleep, heart beat. It's not like the body says 'Hey, I'll make the heartbeat for a while WITH OUT using calories." It doesn't work that way. Certain activities burn a certain number of calories. As I've stated. I understand that some illnesses and possibly genetics can cause a person to have a hard time dealing with fat that is already stored or causing an initial weight gain, but 3500 calories make one pound of fat.

Things are going to reach an equalibrium at some point and that point is not obesity. It makes no sense.
 
April 27, 2006, 10:08 am CDT

04/27 Big Burden

Quote From: buckleypat

I may be off the mark here, if so,  forgive me.  I have a very good friend who was quite large at one time.   This person lost quite a bit of weight to become quite trim and fit through exercise and diet.  However, my observation of the "fit and trim" days was that to keep off the weight, this person had to run five miles a day, work out at the gym every night for two hours and eat practically nothing.   

  

Much of the weight has gone back on since then, but since I have known this person through "thick and thin" for thirteen years I sometimes wonder if with some people just have metabolic and glandular differences that facilitate weight retention.  Some people might just have a higher metabolic rate allowing them to burn off the excess more easily than others.  People should be medically evaluated.  This friend, with whom I have shared many a meal, does not appear to over-eat.  I, on the other hand (in my younger years) could "pound down" six chili cheese dogs at a time and could not seem to increase my weight beyond 110 pounds.  I recently went from 152 pounds to 116 pounds over a period of eight months.  And I have no idea why.  My diet has not changed.  I haven't increased my exercise patterns.   I feel fine.   So all I'm saying is be careful of blaming it all on the food.  Overweight people need acceptance, understanding love and friendship, not guilt.  Of course, the health issues associated with excess weight need to be addressed.  There is absolutely no doubt.  But a medical evaluation is necessary to determine the root cause of the weight to know which factors to rule out.  If it IS the food, then a supervised diet plan.   

Oh I never meant that losing weight is easy for anyone and I know for myself I have to keep right on  top of things other wise I slide right back into bad habits.

That is your friends "cross to bear" if you will.  She obviously can control her calorie intake and out put enough to be at a healthy weight. So it's harder for her...oh well.

And losing weight and maintaining weight are very differnt. People I know who lose weight go back to bad habits afterwards instead of making a lifestyle change. Sounds like maybe your friend has this happen.

I have also met many people who have made a life style change for the better, lost weight and now have a had time eating enough calories once they are done losing the weight. That is because people who are LOSING weight need to eat less calories then people who are maintaining weight.

I understand that this can be complicated. I am just sick to death of hearing EVERY fat person I know blame their weight on genetics. From what I can understand it's not even proven that genetics has ANYTHING to do with it and most of these people have not been evaluated by a Dr who understands that level of genetics. It's all an excuse!
 
April 27, 2006, 10:27 am CDT

Ashamed

Both of those mothers ought to be ashamed of themselves.  The first for guilting her children into being her "slaves" (basically) and treating them the way she does to meet her own wants and needs.  She is also trying to get them to eat the way she does, which could ultimately put them in the same situation as she is in right now.  Blaming everyone and their brother for her weight, come on, it is disgusting!  I know that some people are predisposed to being heavy but not 700 pounds heavy, that is ridiculous.  I found it very hard to feel sorry for her! 

  

The second mother, by her own admission can't say "no" to her daughter,....now her daughter weighs over 400 punds!  What kind of mother does that?!?  This poor girl's childhood has been stolen from her, she will always look back at the sadness in her life.   

  

Shame on these mothers! 

 
April 27, 2006, 10:45 am CDT

Totally impressed!

I just read the show highlights, and  I have to say that after seeing the "you're not hot enough" show, I am totally impressed with Ron, DeeDee's husband.  

  

"I have my own dreams and goals, and I kind of surrendered them, but she has a big heart and is very loving. I don't believe I could imagine myself without her." 

  

That is an example of true love and total acceptance.  Now that DeeDee is ready to make changes, Ron can be on her team and use his love and acceptance of her to help her make the changes.   

 
April 27, 2006, 10:54 am CDT

Family Support

I think that their family should support them by spending time with them and preparing healthy meals for the entire family not just the obese person.  I found weight loss to be more productive when you are not alone.  First change is your eating habits and after a few weeks of that start slowly exercising.  I attended weight watchers meetings and had great success.  I did quit after a while and gained some of my weight back not all of it though.  I was in a car accident and unable to exercise, along with PTSD and depression.  I am starting over again now that I can finally walk without pain and numbness.  However, about the genetics..........Have you ever been to one of my family reunions?? Almost all of the females, including both my grandmothers had weight gain in the stomach area.  I have been overweight since I was an infant.  You can say what you want, but I have seen it first hand!
 
April 27, 2006, 11:02 am CDT

It's not impossible

Quote From: purplepain

Still, no one has explained to me how a person's body can gather fat that they are not eating. This DEFIES the laws of physics.

You cannot make matter from nonmatter.  Fat is matter. You cannot get an illness and gain weight from it! You CAN get an illness that makes it hard to lose fat you ALREADY have...but you cannot be eating a healthy low calorie low fat diet and get an illness and gain 80 lbs....sorry. It's IMPOSSIBLE.


 I once gained 85 lbs in 4 months when taking heavy doses of prednisone.  I was in the hospital being nutritionally supported by IV to rest my guts and I had a gastric tube to keep my stomach empty.  I couldn't eat or drink at all.  Admittedly, in the hospital my activity level was lower but I tried to walk the ward lots.  I lost the weight again in less than 3 months after I weaned off the drugs so maybe it was water too, but it wasn't all water. 

  

I doubt if DeeDee has gained weight in some weird way-just really unhealthy lifestyle...but it is not impossible. 

 
April 27, 2006, 11:17 am CDT

04/27 Big Burden

Quote From: brandid

     

  •    Yes, I do believe that genetics do have some to do with obesity however; I am offended at the "boo-hooing" statement you have made here.  Yes, I was obese and I have lost 160 lbs and I have 40 lbs to go to get to my weight.  When I was morbidly obese I did not blame anyone else but myself.  I am the one who put the food in my mouth.  Yes, I had issues and I had to learn to deal with them differently but my familty was not yielding to my desires or helping create a lethargic existence.  My family DID encourage me to not eat so much, to go for walks, to exercise more, all of it.  I am the one who choose not to.  So how dare you judge people you do not even know!  You do not live their live and you do not know what they are going through every single second.  You are not in their minds, hearts and homes.  Until you know first hand maybe you should not talk about it at all.  And if you have been obese or you are obese then shame on you.  Do not judge families of or the obese because I GAURANDAMMTEEE that they are doing a much harder judging job on themselves than you ever could.  See you are part of the problem.  You see, it is people like you that make me sick!  Instead of talking junk maybe you could find a way to help instead of criticizing.  That would be a much better solution!!!  Obese people do not need RESCUEING they need people like you to leave them the hell alone!!
Thank You for expressing that very well.   People that have never had a problem with food don't understand the pain behind the weight.  It is just like an acoholic with alcohol, except food has to be ingested to live. 
 
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