Message Boards

Topic : 08/07 Big Burden

Number of Replies: 366
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:21:06 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/27/06) Morbid obesity changes the dynamic of two entire families … and tears them apart. DeeDee weighs over 700 pounds and hasn't left her house in more than a year. She has become a burden to her friends and family by constantly demanding their help and company. Is DeeDee ready to get real and make a change, or will she continue to blame her weight gain on other circumstances? Also, her children explain why they resent their mother and feel hostage to her demands. Then, MaLynn is only 14 years old, but she already weighs 419 pounds, and her obesity is causing problems in school. Her mother, Shari, admits she can't say no to her daughter when it comes to food. Dr. Phil shows MaLynn how she can easily lose 86 pounds, and he gets this mother-daughter team to work together to save their relationship and their lives. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Apathetic

Message Emote
blank
April 28, 2006, 9:22 am PDT

Curiosity

I am actually very curious about if Dee Dee will follow Dr. Phil's advice.  Will she lose the wieght?  Will she give up hope once again? Will the guilt and blame continue and turn her children against her?  I hope that Dr. Phil will keep us posted on how she is doing.  If she can do this, WOW would that give the rest of America inspiration on their quest of wieght loss.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
hopeful
April 28, 2006, 9:28 am PDT

Big Burden

Well, I would just like to say one thing to DeeDee if she is reading these posts: 

  

DeeDee, after watching the show, I can see that you are a wonderful, lovely, intelligent, spirited, and articulate woman with a lively spirit and that you just happen to be living in a large body.  No one should ever judge another's physical condition until they have walked in those shoes and understand the associated issues.  I thought Dr. Phil was a little hard on you and usually I adore him and I think he does a lot of good for people.  But he was a little "mean" to you, in my opinion.  You were SO EXTREMELY brave to appear on the show.  You have more courage than most people would ever hope to realize in twenty lifetimes.    

 

Message Emote
blank
April 28, 2006, 9:46 am PDT

04/27 Big Burden

Quote From: chaneyp

I just have to comment on the spider bite. A spider CAN cause weight gain, in that the bite can cause Lymphedema, which causes weight gain. I am not saying that the woman has lymphedema, or that lymphedema can cause you to baloon up to 700 pounds, but it can cause you to gain several hundred. I just HAD to comment, because it made me sad that Dr. Phil didn't do enough research to comment on this condition. There are some medical doctors who have never even heard of it, therefore that poor woman could be suffering from it, and not even know it. I have lymphedema, it did not come from a spider bite, and I was lucky enough that it did not cause me to gain hundreds of pounds, but I just had to speak up for the people who have!
This has been mentioned and I want to say, this would be insanely easy to test. Just test her body fat percentage. A spider bite cannot cause you to gain 400 lbs of fat. 

A simple medical test could put this to rest.

But did you see what she was eating? This is NOT from a spider bite. This is from her eating too much food. The spider bite could cause some swelling, sure, I won't deny that. But unless spider bites cause uncontrolable bouts of eating then that is NOT the problem here.
 
User Mood
Cheerful

Message Emote
hopeful
April 28, 2006, 9:52 am PDT

Message to MaLynn

Hi MaLynn,
I just want you to know that I am  so sure you can do this!!!  You are going to be amazed at how well Dr. Phil's plan works -- once you start working the keys -- your extra weight will be coming off very consistently and you won't be hungry!!!!    His plan has worked for me and I'm in my early 40s.   I wish so much I had known about his plan and keys when I was your age!!!!!!    I want to tell you that for just a few days when you give up sodas (sugar and caffeine) you will feel it -- maybe headahces and low energy but it takes only a few days to lose that withdrawl and you will begin to feel so good when you are eating healthy foods, smaller portions and drinking more water!!!!!!!!   You are soon going to be a like a whole different person -- and if you work all 7 keys thru -- you will build your self esteem and your thoughts will become more positive and life is going to get so much better for you.   You are already a beautiful, wonderful person, now with Dr. Phils weight management plan you'll be able to live life fully and feel so much better -- all the activities you want to do you'll soon be doing again!!!!!!!!!!!   I am so proud of your and your Mom for going on the show and beginning this lifestyle change.   Even though I don't know you personally you can be assured I will be saying some prayers for you and eagerly hoping to see an update on you soon -- I know you will succeed with this plan.    I never thought anything would help me lose weight but it is working for me and it will definately work for you!!!!!   Best of luck to you and your Mom!!!!! Sincerely, Chris
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
confused
April 28, 2006, 9:53 am PDT

Hmmm....something to think about

Quote From: rtrouble

The reason why so many people are morbidly obese is because some are genetically predisposed to being large, but then there are the ones who don't take responsibility for their own well being and health and turn into gluttons, boo-hooing about how it's not their fault they can't even barely move, let alone breathe. And the family members add to the problem by tolerating the person's over indulgence instead of saying no, or go get it yourself. Maybe she wouldn't be 700 lbs. and nobody else in the world would become this way if people learned how to be stubborn in a good way and not encourage such bad habits. You can't make a person active, but you can create a lethargic existence by yielding to their desires, thus making them inactive, ineffective and adding to their low self esteem. My advice for people who are in the position of being so overweight they can't do anything is to just start focusing on doing anything you are interested in and start to do it, other than eating mass quantities of food. It makes me sick that people in families don't care enough to motivate someone by neglecting to feed their obesity, not offering any alternatives of activity, even if it's spending time w/ them  and  not allowing them to make excuses for such a poor lifestyle. I'm sure that something made her shut herself down in a room and nobody came to rescue her from her situation and they just fed her to shut her up instead of make her get it out in the open and refuse to over feed her and help her cope. She has issues, but the family hasn't done anything until she's 700 lbs.? Why didn't they help when she was 300 lbs.? It's a sad situation when food= love.
I am overwieght and would be considered morbidly obese. I have been going to weightwatchers. I work out at the gym 7 days a week 2 hours a day with a possible one day away from the gym here and there, but not very often. Let me say I don't enjoy being overweight by any means , but I do not sit home and "gorge" myself and I am not a closet eater. In all honesty I follow a pretty strict guideline to my eating habits and have not even been to a fast food restaurant since I was young. I am large but in charge of my life. If I had my choice I would love to have the weight off. My cardiovasicular stamina is very impressive, in fact I will go to the length of stating that I could probably run a lot longer and farther then some of my smaller friends. I pride myself in being a none smoker and drink alcohol seldomly if at all. I am not making any excuses for the size that I am , but I have never had high blood pressure, I am not in danger thus far of having diabetes, I do not have sleep apnea, If I fall I can pick myself up and not have the fear of  having to be assisted. I can bathe myself. I am self sufficient. I know that there are smaller people out there that abuse there bodies by not eating healthy and don't exercise to say the least, are we to praise them for being smaller even if they are in poor health. I think not. I do not agree with a "spide bite" being the cause of her weight demise. It is when we take ownership of our own lives can we truly help ourselves.  I wish both woman good luck in their journey to better health. Thank you, Jennifer in CA
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 28, 2006, 10:39 am PDT

04/27 Big Burden

Quote From: purplepain

This has been mentioned and I want to say, this would be insanely easy to test. Just test her body fat percentage. A spider bite cannot cause you to gain 400 lbs of fat. 

A simple medical test could put this to rest.

But did you see what she was eating? This is NOT from a spider bite. This is from her eating too much food. The spider bite could cause some swelling, sure, I won't deny that. But unless spider bites cause uncontrolable bouts of eating then that is NOT the problem here.
I am not trying to diagnose this poor woman, and I don't think you have the right to try to also. Please don't dismiss the seriousness of Lymphedema, your response is the perfect example of why Lymphedema patients are not taken totally seriously. No, of course a spider bite does not cause you to gain fat, and yes a test would prove just how much fat she has on her. If you researched Lymphedema patients and see pictures of them, you might not be so quick to right this off. Of course I take into consideration that she hasn't left the house in over a year and lies in bed all the time, of course that will make you gain weight. The point I am trying to make is that people are stricken with this illness all the time and it should be taken very seriously. I'm sure the other people on here with Lymphedema will agree with me.
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
hopeful
April 28, 2006, 10:57 am PDT

Weight and Metabolism

Quote From: purplepain

Oh I never meant that losing weight is easy for anyone and I know for myself I have to keep right on  top of things other wise I slide right back into bad habits.

That is your friends "cross to bear" if you will.  She obviously can control her calorie intake and out put enough to be at a healthy weight. So it's harder for her...oh well.

And losing weight and maintaining weight are very differnt. People I know who lose weight go back to bad habits afterwards instead of making a lifestyle change. Sounds like maybe your friend has this happen.

I have also met many people who have made a life style change for the better, lost weight and now have a had time eating enough calories once they are done losing the weight. That is because people who are LOSING weight need to eat less calories then people who are maintaining weight.

I understand that this can be complicated. I am just sick to death of hearing EVERY fat person I know blame their weight on genetics. From what I can understand it's not even proven that genetics has ANYTHING to do with it and most of these people have not been evaluated by a Dr who understands that level of genetics. It's all an excuse!

Thank you for your response on this.  I can understand your point of view.   

  

(By the way, I post messages on these boards always hoping I can get an opposing view from my own and I can almost NEVER get anyone to argue with me -- which is my goal --  so I like that you responded!)   

  

I don't like hearing "excuses" if the cause is avoidable.  I have not struggled too much with weight issues on my own (other than I don't like going above my personal weight-range goals), but I have known people who have struggled with weight issues.   

  

Another kind of "personal" theory I have on weight gain is that people who have once been overweight and then lost weight may never be able to return to the same eating patterns at the same levels as so-called "normal-weight" people.  I think that I read somewhere that some foods stored in the body as "fat" cells will always become "activated" more easily after dieting and weight loss when eating returns to so-called normal levels.  You can drive your weight down with reduced diet and exercise, but once a fat cell, always a fat cell and for those who have been over-weight there is more tendancy to always have that problem -- loss and gain roller-coaster.  It's just a theory that I have read about.    

  

The one personal thing I can share about keeping the weight off is exercise.  Especially cardio-vascular.  That will get the metabolic rate up, believe me.  Once I started cardio-vascular exercising (walking, biking, running, and hiking uphill) I melted off 20 pounds within a couple months.  Not everyone can start off so aggressivley.  And there are motivation issues involved if you haven't started yet.  For me, it started with just barely being able to manage two minutes on the LifeCycle at level 1 and within a matter of a year I was doing a ten mile uphill hike, then spending two hours on the LifeCycle at level 5, and lifting weights at the gym for an hour (in the same day).  And the upside was I could eat whatever I wanted!  Prior to this, I was a couch potato.  It can be done.  Baby steps is what gets you started.  The endorphin level in the brain improves with movement and helps to relieve depression.  Just MOVE.  Even if it's a walk around the block to start and I guarantee you will feel better.  

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
April 28, 2006, 11:11 am PDT

I'd love to meet your dad

Quote From: csawolm

My father is a doctor and nutritionist and he did a study in the UK over a two year period that shows that people burn calories in a remarkably narrow range.  

The SLOWEST metabolism he discovered belonged to an older woman: she required only 967 calories per day to maintain her weight. This was an incredible anonmaly. People, he found, can be predisposed to being chubby-ish or thin but anything above and beyond that was a behavioral problem. Even still, when the woman was eating 1100 calories per day and walking once a day, she began to maintain weight over the remaining one and a half year period.  

   

There are a very small number of people (less than 5% of the population )who have very serious genetic problems or diseases that cause them to be overweight, but the vast majority DO NOT. Very thin people are eating too few calories and/or over exersizing. The reverse is also true,  

   

The body is a remarkable machine. For those of you who eat reasonably well and exercize, do you notice how you tend to stay aorund the same weight year after year? To gain five pounds in a year, you would only have to have an excess of 47 calories per day, and yet, somehow, the body works itself out so taht at the end of the year, you are the same weight,  

   

   

Why is this not happening in Europe to the same degree? In Asia?  

Why are there so very very very few obese people in say, Africa, if there is, as people claim, numerous genetic factors involved that cause one to be morbidly obese?  

This is a myth, There are few overweight people walking around, for instance, Nairobi, becuase food is not in such absurd abundance.  

   

There are no real excuses. people who are 4,5,6 times the weight they should be are not eating properly nor exercizing enough.  

I'm not "condemning you" or being insensitive. It is likely that there are emotional problems involved, but blaming it on genetics and giving up is simply foolish.  

And I think he'd love to study me. I'm about 80 lbs over weight. I eat one meal a day, no dessert, no soda, no snacking and fast food maybe once a month. I eat mostly meat and no I don't gorge myself when I do eat my one meal. I drink coffee {mostly} and water. I do tend to eat too much if we go out but we don't eat out but once every 30 - 45 days and I usually don't eat the following day because I'm not hungry. My one meal a day is supper eaten around 6 PM and I exercise daily. I am on thyroid, high blood pressure, and allergy meds daily. My eating habits change during the holidays. I do a lot of baking, cooking and candy making and I "sample" my work...a lot! Surprisingly I loose around 20 lbs by the time Christmas is over but gain it back by summer. My doctor says my body is in "starvation mode" because of my low cal intake. Now what the heck does that mean?
 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
hopeful
April 28, 2006, 11:27 am PDT

Big Burden

Quote From: jstage

I am overwieght and would be considered morbidly obese. I have been going to weightwatchers. I work out at the gym 7 days a week 2 hours a day with a possible one day away from the gym here and there, but not very often. Let me say I don't enjoy being overweight by any means , but I do not sit home and "gorge" myself and I am not a closet eater. In all honesty I follow a pretty strict guideline to my eating habits and have not even been to a fast food restaurant since I was young. I am large but in charge of my life. If I had my choice I would love to have the weight off. My cardiovasicular stamina is very impressive, in fact I will go to the length of stating that I could probably run a lot longer and farther then some of my smaller friends. I pride myself in being a none smoker and drink alcohol seldomly if at all. I am not making any excuses for the size that I am , but I have never had high blood pressure, I am not in danger thus far of having diabetes, I do not have sleep apnea, If I fall I can pick myself up and not have the fear of  having to be assisted. I can bathe myself. I am self sufficient. I know that there are smaller people out there that abuse there bodies by not eating healthy and don't exercise to say the least, are we to praise them for being smaller even if they are in poor health. I think not. I do not agree with a "spide bite" being the cause of her weight demise. It is when we take ownership of our own lives can we truly help ourselves.  I wish both woman good luck in their journey to better health. Thank you, Jennifer in CA

I have one last thing to say on this and then I will shut up. 

  

You are doing all the right things.  As individuals we are born into our "body types" -- not our choice.  We can't all be a Paris Hilton or Kate Moss thin (and who would WANT to be?) 

  

I have a very good friend who might be also considered "morbidly obese" at about 400 pounds.  Yet, she can out-hike me, out-run me, plays a killer game of tennis and volleyball, is more physically balanced and coordinated than I could ever hope to be at my measly 116 pounds and is Mensa-level genius smart and at the same time a really great and wonderful person.  I'm so grateful to have this friend.  Of course I'm concerned about the long-term health issue, and I hope that this person trims down again for health reasons, but I value this friend so much and only see the person that I am so happy is willing to be my friend.  We need to get over this "body image" thing.  I wish more people could see the person inside and not the "vehicle" in which it resides.   

 
User Mood
Cheerful

Message Emote
blank
April 28, 2006, 11:54 am PDT

Curosity

I also  wonder if Dee-Dee will stick to this, my opinion is that she will...for a while. Its going to be far more difficult than she can ever imagine.  

Up here in MN. we watched a man named Patrick Duel go through it on TV. He weighed over 1000 lbs !! No joke ! Its been more than a year since he had Gastric By-pass, which they had to wait several months to do because he had to loose so much just to get it done. He spent close to 6 months in hospital ! He's now down to about 350, he just had a huge papaloma (sp ?) removed..a big bulge of tummy fat that kept him from walking...it hung past his chins...  

I wish Dee-Dee all the best, but Id almost be willing to bet that unless she goes into hospital first, and takes some weight off under supervision, she'll fall off the program. Her addiction to food is just too strong to handle alone.  

 
First | Prev | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | Next | Last