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Topic : 07/18 Dr. Phil's Mooch Squad

Number of Replies: 191
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:25:27 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/28/06) Dr. Phil sends his Mooch Squad to round up some accused family freeloaders! Regina and Earl are beyond frustrated with their 22-year-old son, Derek, who has moved out and back home twice. Paying Derek's expenses and supporting him and his pets costs them over $2,100 a month! After sneaking out a window to escape the Mooch Squad, Derek begins an eight-hour negotiation with his parents. Does he eventually agree to sign Dr. Phil's behavioral agreement? Then, Adele says her 25-year-old son, Ryan, lives on her couch, demands that she cook dinner and serve it to him, lies to her, and has ruined her financially. Ryan admits he's the king of all moochers and says his blue eyes can mesmerize people into giving him what he wants. Can Dr. Phil convince these moochers to require more of themselves, or is it up to the parents to stop the handouts? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 28, 2006, 1:03 pm CDT

Am I or not?

 Dr. Phil

 I am 29yrs old and I do live at home.  I feel terrible and am afraid that I may be considered a moocher.  I had a job up until two years ago, and after that, almost a year later, I had to undergo transplant sugery (which I am thankful to my mom cause she was my donor).
 Anyways, I am not able to work yet because I am still having medical problems, but I do attend p/t night classes at a local college.  Every month I receive disability and use that to pay my way. It does frustrate me to see these people on your show that simply just don't have the motivation to work.  I miss having a job, and being %100 independant.

I do not drive, and being at home right now makes it easier on me to attend doctors appointments and go to the hospital in an emergency. I admit that living with my parents makes me feel comfortable and at ease, knowing that if I do suffer any problem, they are always close by.

I am just wondering what I can do to not feel as guilty as I do....I am worried about being labelled a moocher and the last thing I want is to take advantage of my parents

Laura
 
April 28, 2006, 1:23 pm CDT

04/28 Dr. Phil's Mooch Squad

Quote From: lil_qtpie

 Dr. Phil

 I am 29yrs old and I do live at home.  I feel terrible and am afraid that I may be considered a moocher.  I had a job up until two years ago, and after that, almost a year later, I had to undergo transplant sugery (which I am thankful to my mom cause she was my donor).
 Anyways, I am not able to work yet because I am still having medical problems, but I do attend p/t night classes at a local college.  Every month I receive disability and use that to pay my way. It does frustrate me to see these people on your show that simply just don't have the motivation to work.  I miss having a job, and being %100 independant.

I do not drive, and being at home right now makes it easier on me to attend doctors appointments and go to the hospital in an emergency. I admit that living with my parents makes me feel comfortable and at ease, knowing that if I do suffer any problem, they are always close by.

I am just wondering what I can do to not feel as guilty as I do....I am worried about being labelled a moocher and the last thing I want is to take advantage of my parents

Laura
My only suggestion would be to do as much as you can to help out at home to alleviate some of the guilt and some of the responsibility your parents have.  There are some things that are out of your control and you shouldn't feel guilty about that.  However, I am sure there are things you can do and things you can be responsible for yourself.  Sit down, write out what you can and can't do, and then start making it happen.  A little is better than none.  You obviously don't have a "moocher" attitude and that shows you have alot of potential.  The more you do to help your parents while you are there and the more you try to do for yourself the better you will feel and the guilt will lessen.  Good luck.
 
April 28, 2006, 1:25 pm CDT

I don't understand!

I guess someone needs to tell me what are these parents thinking? Our son is only 21, goes to college fulltime, works at Fed-Ex part time, and still has his high school job at Dairy Queen, where he works about 15 or so hours a week. He has never called in sick just to miss work. He has missed 3 days in 3 years. I guess what I don't understand is why are these parents putting up with this behavior? What is wrong with them that they would raise a child like that? We always told our kids college is number 1, but as long as they have a job to buy them what they want, they are welcome to live here. It is not hard to raise a child who respects his parents. We are nothing special, and we are not rich, so maybe that is why our children (our daughter is 25 and married) have always wanted to work and we never tolerated any kind of behavior like these people are. Moochers make me sick. He (the one kid) never asked to be born? All the more reason he should love and respect his parents. We have a couple we are close to that has a 27 year-old son who is getting his doctorate in sociology starting next semester. They think it is okay for his girlfriend (this has happedned twice and the first time, they had to change the locks) to come over and never go home! I told her the other day I am sorry, but I would say go home! He is their only biological child (one girl is adopted and they make a huge difference between the two) and I think his whole life they have been afraid to tell him no. He is bipolar and in the past has threatened suicide, so I am sure he uses that to his advantage. My friend told me their house is so big (he is a doctor) that they hardly ever see them, and our house is small, so that is probably why we wouldn't allow it. I was mad because yes, our house is smaller, but that is not the point. What is wrong with saying NO? It is really beyond me. Just like these moocher kids, someone should have been the parent long ago. And don't even get me started on the grandma! She is just like the 700lb ladie's kids yesterday.  They bring her food and keep her dependent. What happened if these parents of the moochers die? We have always told our kids we will not be around forever, so you better learn to deal with life yourself. The more I write, the more I become angry with my friend, so I guess I better quit. I don't care how much money you make, or how many kids you have or don't have, or how big your house is; there is no excuse for bad parenting! 

  

 
April 28, 2006, 1:40 pm CDT

Derek

I hope you can help Derek's parents and grandmother.  They are ruining this moocher.
 
April 28, 2006, 1:57 pm CDT

Not a moocher

I  Live with my parents, but I don't mooch. I buy my own clothes, I bought myself a prepaid cell phone and I get the minutes with my money. I do my chores around the house, and do some of the cooking. I also contribute to some of the grocery expenses. If  I were those parents, I would kick them out pronto!
 
April 28, 2006, 2:00 pm CDT

Food and a bed, maybe - but cars?

I agree with the poster who said parents are not always able to control how their kids turn out.  Many, many families have 2 or 3 great, independent kids, and one moocher.  It's insensitive to "blame" parents for everything.  However, if as a parent you cannot bear to put your child out, how can you justify car-payments, and so forth?  Can't you at least make living at home less pleasurable that being gainfully employed?  I think that simple fact is what pushes most of us out, "I can't wait to move out so I can...," right?  No one should put up with being harassed, and that is what these "children" are doing by demanding stuff. 

  

I pity these parents because they have dug themselves into a hole.  Take Dr. Phil's help - he is right on target! 

 
April 28, 2006, 2:08 pm CDT

funny stuff - reality not always funny

 These are not serious moochers. However, I understand how the parents feel. My 34 year old son (divorced) and his 3 kids live with us. He has Tourettes and is seriously depressed. My 30 year old son and his wife are also living with us. He had a rediculous run-in with the law and spent 4 months in prison. We are trying to help him get turned around. His wife works and is going to nursing school. They shouldn't be here long, but it's an incredible burden. We're lucky if we bring home $3400 a month. My embarassment knows no bounds. My depression either.
 
April 28, 2006, 2:13 pm CDT

Why blame Derek?

 

Parents, call a locksmith, have the locks changed. 

Put his personal stuff in the bed of his truck, and turn off the cell phone. 

Call the ASPC, and donate the animals to them for new homes. 

 

Derek is a sad example of parents loving the wrong way. 

 

Boot the boy out, and make him grow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

SO SAD. 

 
April 28, 2006, 2:18 pm CDT

frustrating

Quote From: khargis68

I recently broke up with a man who is 38 years old and is a complete mooch.  From what I have heard his family say he was the same way in his 20's.  He has a job making $12.00/hour and can't pay his bills.  He spends his money on alcohol, cigarettes, and toys for himself while he has his mother and grandmother pay his bills.  During the time that we dated the majority of the time when we went out I paid for dinner, movie, etc. I thought that he was struggling financially and I am not so I didn't see it as a problem.  Until recently and we went shopping where he spent his entire paycheck, we then went to dinner and after he ordered, ate, and the bill came he said "would you get this one and I will pay you back later".  Obviously I paid the bill but trust me it was the last one.  I told him that I couldn't pay for him anymore, that he had to pay for his own and I would pay for mine since he didn't have much money.  His response to me was "I wish I was perfect like you".  That said it all to me.  In the same conversation I found out that he had just had his 80 year old grandmother pay his $450 utility bill, and talked his schizophrenic uncle into buying him an Xbox 360.  I was disgusted.  Needless to say I broke up with him.  The problem is I am very much in love with him.  I am in a constant struggle with being with a man I don't respect and feel is a loser.  It goes much deeper then this.  He not only mooches money off everyone but he really doesn't take care of himself, his home, his daughter, anything.  I believe that he is an alcoholic and that has alot to do with it, or the mooching has allowed him to become an alcoholic, I don't know.  These younger guys are going to end up like him if their parents don't stop it now.  I have a 17 year old son who is far more responsible than the x-boyfriend.  I am a single mom and support myself in every way.  This seems to be a major problem with men of late, as I do date sometimes.  This wasn't the first time I ran into a man in his 30's living with his mom, or still using his mom's money to support him.  What is going on?
i kind of understand your situation. i am in a simular one. i love him, i don't understand why anymore. he rarely works, styas up most of the night and drinks and watches TV. goes to bed around three or four in the am. sleeps half the day away. doesn't go out of his way to search for work. his 85yr old mother calls him with job prespectives evryday. most of them he doeasn't even check out. when we have an arugument he runs to his friends house who is 60yrs old and stays over night with him. while they drink together at his house. but for some reason i allow him to keep coming home. i don't know what is wrong with me. i have lots of support and everyone keeps asking me why do i keep him around. i have decided as of today that i don't deserve this abuse anymore. i think you were wise to end the relationship, good for you. i think we have to believe in ourselves more and not settle for less. we deserve better, even if that means living alone. thank you for sharing your experience with me. i have two kids 21 & 26 that have much better work ethics, and one has a disability. thanks maureen        
 
April 28, 2006, 2:18 pm CDT

frustrating

Quote From: khargis68

I recently broke up with a man who is 38 years old and is a complete mooch.  From what I have heard his family say he was the same way in his 20's.  He has a job making $12.00/hour and can't pay his bills.  He spends his money on alcohol, cigarettes, and toys for himself while he has his mother and grandmother pay his bills.  During the time that we dated the majority of the time when we went out I paid for dinner, movie, etc. I thought that he was struggling financially and I am not so I didn't see it as a problem.  Until recently and we went shopping where he spent his entire paycheck, we then went to dinner and after he ordered, ate, and the bill came he said "would you get this one and I will pay you back later".  Obviously I paid the bill but trust me it was the last one.  I told him that I couldn't pay for him anymore, that he had to pay for his own and I would pay for mine since he didn't have much money.  His response to me was "I wish I was perfect like you".  That said it all to me.  In the same conversation I found out that he had just had his 80 year old grandmother pay his $450 utility bill, and talked his schizophrenic uncle into buying him an Xbox 360.  I was disgusted.  Needless to say I broke up with him.  The problem is I am very much in love with him.  I am in a constant struggle with being with a man I don't respect and feel is a loser.  It goes much deeper then this.  He not only mooches money off everyone but he really doesn't take care of himself, his home, his daughter, anything.  I believe that he is an alcoholic and that has alot to do with it, or the mooching has allowed him to become an alcoholic, I don't know.  These younger guys are going to end up like him if their parents don't stop it now.  I have a 17 year old son who is far more responsible than the x-boyfriend.  I am a single mom and support myself in every way.  This seems to be a major problem with men of late, as I do date sometimes.  This wasn't the first time I ran into a man in his 30's living with his mom, or still using his mom's money to support him.  What is going on?
i kind of understand your situation. i am in a simular one. i love him, i don't understand why anymore. he rarely works, styas up most of the night and drinks and watches TV. goes to bed around three or four in the am. sleeps half the day away. doesn't go out of his way to search for work. his 85yr old mother calls him with job prespectives evryday. most of them he doeasn't even check out. when we have an arugument he runs to his friends house who is 60yrs old and stays over night with him. while they drink together at his house. but for some reason i allow him to keep coming home. i don't know what is wrong with me. i have lots of support and everyone keeps asking me why do i keep him around. i have decided as of today that i don't deserve this abuse anymore. i think you were wise to end the relationship, good for you. i think we have to believe in ourselves more and not settle for less. we deserve better, even if that means living alone. thank you for sharing your experience with me. i have two kids 21 & 26 that have much better work ethics, and one has a disability. thanks maureen        
 
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