Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

 I think spanking a child is cruel.  Every parent who spanks their child(ren) is abusing them.  I have been raised with a family who abused me when I was a child.  I called CPS on them, but they didn't do anything.  I have been abused for 6 years before it stopped.  I had gotten hit with a belt and their bare hands, pushed, kicked, and punched at.  Even when I was an adult, I was every single abuse in the book except for sexually.  And yes, I was sexually abused when I was a child.  So, this is so devastating and cruel for the children when this happens.

I am a 25 year old mother of two.  I went to Martinsville High School in Indiana.  I have a story about paddling.  When I was a freshman I was whacked (that's what it was called).  I was not a bad student I was whacked for being tardy to class.  I was traumatized by this experience because it wasn't just the paddling, I was wearing a semi-short mid thigh length dress that day at school.  I think it is wrong and embarassing to have children go through this at school where they are supposed to feel safe.

I have spanked my  two boys, not beaten. Huge difference. I also have take things away for them. I do more of the taking away, then the spanking now. I have learned the skills. Plus, my son is ADD and has a learning disability. Which makes it hard for me to spank him now. I do not know if I am dealing with the things he can not help or the ones he can. I feel better when I use this method. It lets him know that it is his behavior not him that needs to be corrected. We are working on positive gains instead of negative ones, with both of my children. I have read Dr. Phil's family first and watch Super Nanny they both have helped me to use some great tools. There are many tools out there to help discipline your children and it does work. The main thing you have to be is consistent with your rules. The way to do that is :

1. Post your rules; this way you can go over them with the children and they know what to expect when they break the rules. This keeps you consistent. Helps you to follow through with the consequences of their actions. Then you can remind them of the rules again. Make sure you have a place where they have to do their punishment. (meaning no TV, Toys, nothing). As they get older they lose their favorite things (video, playing with friends, TV, playing with toys, anything). You can make it 10mins, 30 mins, an hour. If they keep it up then add what ever the time until they stop. You get to a curtain time and then it can be a day, a week, and months. If it what it takes for them to learn what they are doing is not excepted. If it is a long time give them the option to work some of it off. Hard work not easy ones to earn it back.  This way they will think twice before they do that again. You can not make the work easy. If you do make it easy. They will think that was not to bad and do it again.
2. Write out a schedule of the household routine this helps the children and you to also stay consistent.
3. Have fun with your children make time to play and enjoy them. Make a list of things you can do when they behave and didn't break the rules. reward the good behavior. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money. Make it simple children just want your time to love and have fun with you.
These things that you do can even help both parents to stay on the same page with each other too. This also makes your family close and happy.

As a child who has been spanked by her father I can tell you that spanking doesn't work. It's a cruel and unnecessary punishment. It causes fear in young children, and changes who they are. This form of "discipline" should not be allowed in the school program as it is a form of abuse. Parents need to find more suitable ways to discipline there children.

The problem with people now days is that they don't know the difference between beating and spanking.  I saw a lady in a store and she spanked her son for his misbehaving and a gentleman behind me stepped in and told the lady that if he ever saw her hit her child again he would call the police. I thought that it was my job to inform this ignorant man of the mistake he made and offered to take him outside and spank him and then beat the crap out of him and see if he could tell the difference between hitting and spanking. He like many people today use the word hit or beat because they think it justifies their ignorance in not knowing the difference.  It even has entered the school systems.  Teachers are now telling their students, especially the grade school students, that if any family member hurts them by laying a hand on them then that is abuse and to report it to the school and then to the authorities. Well of course spanking hurts the child at that moment but what does the student hear, "I must be being abused now so I will tell my teachers," and the next thing that happens the cops and social services are standing at some parents home because teachers are not allowed to determine the difference between spanking as punishment or abuse by beating, to them it has to be the same thing.  My father and mother spanked me when I was a child, and they never once hit me or beat me. There are even people who say that spanking can lead to destructive behavior and ultimately ending up in jail. I challenge anyone who believes that to go to their nearest correctional facility and ask each inmate if the reason they were there was due to being spanked as a child. I promise you will not find one, in fact they are probably there because they did not have anyone to spank them and teach them how to act in society.  I truly mean this and to Dr. Phil also, watch the words hitting or beating and make sure you use them appropriately. There is a huge diffence between spanking and hitting and in a day in which we are being told to watch our words closely these two words can tear a family apart faster than anything.  People say this all the time, " Don't hit your child to teach them that hitting is wrong." You Think!!!  Spank your child to show them hitting is wrong. If you don't believe in spanking then that is fine, more power to you, but don't condem it by calling it a form of abuse such as beating or hitting.

What caught my ear today was the teacher who admited it was hard when she knew the child was a good child who was just having a bad day.

I could have cried for that "good" child and all the "bad" children too.

What a child learns is that if they are having a challenging day, if they need extra help with whatever they are going through, they better not express it!  If they do, they'll get hit with a board.  nice.

 

Having been spanked as a small child by a teacher who just didn't like me, I feel that spanking is unnessary in the classroom ,and if this form of punishment is to be used it should be handled by the parents not the teachers. I don't think anyone has the right to spank a child other than a parent.

Quite simply, children look to us for discipline, structure, boundaries and consistency in their lives.  We want to raise children that are co-operative, NOT OBEDIENT.   Children are human beings too.  No human being should be hit.  I chose to as Dr. Phil states, find their currency and work on a reward or remove of their currency rather than punishment.  We want our children to thrive, not live in fear.

wow i was blown away at the spanking show today. where do they get off hitting other peoples kids. here's how i see it the teacher is haveing  bad day and a child looks at her wrong and she takes the frustrations out on the child with no punishment thats bull.

 wow ,if that was a parent we would  have our child taken away. and lets face it at home is where the kids really act up because there in there comfort zone, so if were not beating he kids on the butt what gives the school the right.

  I would knock someone out teacher or not if anyone layed a hand or a pattle on my child. and let face it they are only using a pattle so they don't break a precious nail.