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Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Number of Replies: 2264
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:50:41 pm
Author : dataimport
Is spanking a necessary evil or can you discipline effectively without physical punishment? Sound off about spanking.

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July 25, 2005, 12:05 pm CDT

Pro-spank parents are the most judgemental sometimes

Some families appear alright but the spouses are slaming each other and the children are in

depression ,drink and are ill from hitting. Violence causes a lot of rage, hate people who do

spouses and scream. (At all levels) I've been attacked so much by sadistic ones that standing up is important. Absolutes in that area prevent escaletions to overkill.

 
July 25, 2005, 6:47 pm CDT

Absolute ant-spank is fine

If you know its bad with a lot of groups for generations it's important to stand against violence.

The other side is more aggressive. They attack more, not on this site necessarily. Details

incite people . The rare group is probably the occasional smack group. It's addictive.

To personally support all opinions is to take no stand, or provide a forum for all. The

other group can't be changed anyway. Your being who you are isn't a attack on them

except when they attack you continually and you reply. How about that study that excluded

most of the people I've encountered for years. Wasn't much point. There are a lot of sadistic books

out. Trip into deep water and drive insane hitting. cults-speed users-extreme religions-I hope

its not a large group.I haven't found violence parents that responsible myself-too many.

Prevented Medical care for Power etc.  Most of us have hit once but that isn't the main Pro spank

group. 

 
July 25, 2005, 7:50 pm CDT

Yep

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it. :)

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

I completely agree, although I would not use a switch but I do spank with a small paddle.
 
July 25, 2005, 7:52 pm CDT

Sorry

Quote From: poetmom

Spanking isn't an option for everyone, and there are plenty of other ways to get the same results without ever having to put a hand on your child in that way. Mine are 19, 15 and 12, and I have never had to spank any of them....and yet they consistently have gotten compliments on their behavior, both with me and away from me. They learned self-control and self-policing at a very early age through having things explained to them, and that seemed to be what worked best with their personalities and temperaments. They didn't take well to just being told that something wasn't allowed...they wanted to know what could happen to them if they did it, or why I thought it wasn't a good idea, and things like that. Then, once they processed the reasoning behind the rule, they had no problem complying. They still, as teens, prefer to discuss and understand rules rather than just have them given to them, and that still results in few, if any, breakage of rules, so we stick with it. :)

Teresa
Gentle Christian Mothers - Index

Replied to the wrong message.
 
July 25, 2005, 7:54 pm CDT

Yep

Quote From: bamagran53

Okay..here is my two-cents worth. I am a believer of spanking....not beating...just a good old fashioned "pop on the rear"....just the rear! And I say, never, never spank when you are angry!

My dear Mother raised 9 children...and she spanked, with a keen little switch, (which she made us "youngins" go get from the yard"..LOL), but you know what...I am 52 years old, and I do not remember getting too many "switchings"...I told my Mom this one day, and she said that she did not have to spank us that much, because she did it right the first time...and I don't ever recall her raising her voice at us either...THAT drives me crazy when I hear a Mom or a Dad screaming at the top of their lungs at their children...that is abuse to me....and those that tell their children.."Wait till I get you home"...or another one I hear all the time.." Wait until your Dad gets home"!!!!!

Ok...that's all I have to say about that.

I completely agree.
 
July 25, 2005, 8:37 pm CDT

spanking is both cruel and useless....

 This is my first time on here.

im just writing cause my cousin's 3 year old some is showing signs of add or adhd and nothing she does helps to get him under control.He runs all over her and we dont know what to do. she has talked to someone and they just say that there's nothing that can be done because he is too young to medicate..they havent even really done the testing on him for it .He is just out of control so if you have any advice please lend it . she is at her wits end here . thanks

 
July 26, 2005, 6:07 pm CDT

Parents repeat their background

parents don't spank because their child is difficult but by their upbringing.

Those from spankers often can't be satisfied and drum up a wild child.

My uncles and aunts were hit with sticks and some with fists. One hit

her husband with a bat and was so mean her children ranaway and one became

a sadio-masic suicide. One ranaway became a drunk and commited suicide.

One periodically bloodlyed up hers who became a druggie child molester.

Another raped and one icepick killed someone. They were affection starved

from violence and and driven to violent behavior by spankings. A lot were destroyed emotionally

and mentally for years. At all levels of violence for three generations they were drove crazy by it.

I've never seen occasional hitters or control from it. Friends and neighbors who

were like that had kids who lost half their brain to drugs. Several hundred people

spouse bashed raved and then drugged kids they ruined. One of the soninlaws

hits up and down his kids backbone with his fist.A lot of it was within so called

common treatment of children from prospankers.

 It is addictive for displacing rage and the hell with the child.

 

 
July 26, 2005, 8:24 pm CDT

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Quote From: susan876

parents don't spank because their child is difficult but by their upbringing.

Those from spankers often can't be satisfied and drum up a wild child.

My uncles and aunts were hit with sticks and some with fists. One hit

her husband with a bat and was so mean her children ranawayand one became

a sadio-masic suicide. One ranaway became a drunk and commited suicide.

One periodically bloodlyed up hers who became a druggie child molester.

Anotherraped and one icepick killed someone. They were affection starved

from violence and and driven to violent behavior by spankings.A lot were destroyed emotionally

and mentally for years.At all levels of violence for three generations they were drove crazy by it.

I've never seen occasional hitters or control from it. Friends and neighbors who

were like that had kids who lost half their brain to drugs. Several hundred people

spouse bashed raved and then drugged kids they ruined. One of the soninlaws

hits up and down his kids backbone with his fist.A lot of it was within so called

common treatment of children from prospankers.

It is addictive for displacing rage and the hell with the child.

What you have discribed here is abuse, not a spanking. Now, if I understand your message (correct me if I am wrong,as I am really not sure)you seem to think that those who were spanked end up abusing their own children.And if this is what you are saying, you are dead wrong. I know many people, including myself who was spanked but I have never once abused my children. There is a big difference between a spank on the bottom and abuse. As a matter of fact I was abused in another way, spanking has absolutely nothing to do with the abuse that I encountered as a child, but I do not abuse my children in no way, shape or form.I agree that a child's upbringing can have a great affect on them as they become adults but with love and encouragement, and good role models, they can end the cycle of abuse or whatever went wrong in their home, believe me, I know. And I believe that if one was abused as a child, chances are they will abuse as well, I see it all the time, but thankfully I for one am not an abuser and I love and respect my children more then words can describe and I have absolutely no problem with a parent who spanks and I do agree that spanking can end up in an abuse situation as I believe all forms of positive discipline can end up being abuse.
 
July 28, 2005, 5:20 pm CDT

what passes as

Quote From: jettav

What you have discribed here is abuse, not a spanking. Now, if I understand your message (correct me if I am wrong,as I am really not sure)you seem to think that those who were spanked end up abusing their own children.And if this is what you are saying, you are dead wrong. I know many people, including myself who was spanked but I have never once abused my children. There is a big difference between a spank on the bottom and abuse. As a matter of fact I was abused in another way, spanking has absolutely nothing to do with the abuse that I encountered as a child, but I do not abuse my children in no way, shape or form.I agree that a child's upbringing can have a great affect on them as they become adults but with love and encouragement, and good role models, they can end the cycle of abuse or whatever went wrong in their home, believe me, I know. And I believe that if one was abused as a child, chances are they will abuse as well, I see it all the time, but thankfully I for one am not an abuser and I love and respect my children more then words can describe and I have absolutely no problem with a parent who spanks and I do agree that spanking can end up in an abuse situation as I believe all forms of positive discipline can end up being abuse.

I really don't understand you either(mixed messages). I spent years trying to recover from

so called spankings. Generations with less Hitting screamed and did spousal and their children

were crazy and drank from depression, from so called spanking. At all levels violence destroys people because

it shuts out positive and affection and trust. Children 1 to 5 Are hit a lot and prevented expressing

emotions because they weren't allowed to survive that way. By 4 a lot of children are destroyed in various ways.  At all levels I saw no good just bad. Do you mean a smack or hitting with objects?

I also saw a lot of much worse. Some do better than others but  and there are too many to promote it. I only trust non-violence. I know spanking reguarly destroys people in bad ways. Accumulated

destriction emotionally and mentally and pain for years. You shut it out. Sometimes because

you are treated better other times because of rage -power-revenge on the next generation.

So we are different, I only agree, that non violent parents occasionly smack rarely. The others within the law,

systematically,destroy people  mentally and pretend it isn't harmful. We have very little common ground. I see people attacking others as too easy while their groups are beyond belief.

What you consider abuse is a large group out there and is not legislated against. I think people should speak out against violence it zips too other levels and people from it are not the most

controlled people.

 

 
July 28, 2005, 5:43 pm CDT

dDifferent views

I believe what those here consider abusers ,is perhaps the larger group out there and there is no legislation. And that you also consider children more indestructive than they are. I also saw

it regularly ruin the adult  lifes and the next groups, too often, to believe in overlooking it.

You just have too stand for survival and making good people,  without using you as a bad example.

Too many ruthless from violence. I also realize that people come from different places and

don't always see what goes on or the impact. I am being attacked by the abusers a lot now.

I realize that this site supports all groups and sometimes doesn't know who they really are.

I am too detailed  only wishing to provide examples, why It is important to be nonviolent. It

can be depressing and you would wish to discount it so I'll try not to come on too much.

 

 

 

 
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