Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

It is illegal in Australia to spank children in schools and in public places.

 When I am at home yes sometimes I do spank,smack my children,only when nothing else works,and it also depends on what they have done,I also use time out,and also we have a naughty corner,and sometimes my husband will tell them that he will ring the naughty girls home or naughty boys home,and I will every now and then.

 If they are testing my patients with asking for things like chips or chocolate biscuites and I say no,they will argue and I will ignore them until they have given up and I hate to say it but it does work.

 I havn't had to smack my kids for a very long time,they are good kids,but it's like with every child they have their moments.

 The only way I think that it would be cruel is if they had bruising and marks left after their punishment,just like that child on your show.

In Sweden it is illegal to spank children. If you get reported by spanking a child in public, the person doing the spanking can be thrown in jail!

Spanking a child here is NOT tolerated and it is NOT considered in any way an adult behavior!

This makes my absolutely furious to think that any parent let-alone a teacher would ever lay a hand on a child. It makes me sick! Under no circumstances do I believe that it is acceptable, none at all. In a situation where a child hit another child, and then as punishment you decide to hit your child what are trying to teach them? How is it logical or fair? This principal can also be applied for capital punishment, but I am not here to discuss that. As a 15 year girl, living in Australia I have a very good life. My parents have never laid a hand on me, and that is exactly the way that i will eventually raise my children. To think that you could send your child to school, knowing that they could be harmed is unacceptable. As their mother, father or guardian you have a responsible to your child, and if you feel like you can send them into an environment where they are in danger, than why on earth do you have that child in the first place. Many children and young adults get abused in households, so going to school can be place of refuge. Why on earth would students want to come to school knowing that they could be harmed in anyway, shape or form.

Tell your parents 'thank you' from me for raising such an intelligent, well spoken young lady.

Well done Mom and Dad!

Spanking is cruel and unacceptable so we should do something about it, stand in their faces, and make them know that what they're doing will not be tolerated.

Spanking is a very touchy subject.  Personally, I hate the idea of spanking.  If a spanking is to take place, it should always be the last resort and should be done only with one's hand.

Why the hand the ask?  Because the use of an object, such as a belt, paddle or switch is just plain barberic!  Why would a loving parent want to use any item to discipline their child?  I know why, and the reason is selfish and immoral.  Anyone who has ever spanked a child with their hand knows that it hurts one's hand.  So, to take the pain away from their hand, the use an item, which in turn, inflicts more pain on the child.  Not to mention that it strikes fear in them.  Therefore, the use of anything other than the hand should be OUTLAWED and I dont care what YOU PARENTS who support the idea of spanking with objects thinks about it.

Think about it rationally.  If I hit an adult with a belt, I'd be arrested for assault.  So, why is it okay to hit a child with it?  All of you parents who think it's okay to spank your child with a "weapon" are barberic and down-right wrong!  Maybe someone should whip the hell out of you with a belt!  Newsflash, whenever I am in public and I see any parent going over-board on spanking their kids, I call the police.

But the question is Why?  Why spank your kids using a weapon?  To spare your hand the pain?  To inflict MORE pain on your child?  Maybe it's all of the above.  Bottom line, it's wrong.  I guarantee you this, to all who support my theory.  If the idea is Outlawed, making it illegal to spank children with objects of any kind, millions of parents would be outraged.  And, their outrage is further proof that they are barberic and apparently "enjoy" doing it.

PARENT WHO SPANKS WITH BELT:  Oh No!  We cant hit our children with belts, paddles or switches???  That's outragious!

Cant you hear one saying that?  They would be outraged that they couldn't hit their child anymore with a weapon!

Get real parents!  This is 2008!  We live in the new-age, not the stone-age! 

Wow!  I stay away from the “Spanking: Useful or Cruel” board on here because of all the infighting and spouting off and other childish behaviours (not to mention off-topic posts,) only to come back and see that not only has this board surpassed the 2500-post mark at such rapid speed, but also to read MORE “Gone With the Wind”-like posts full of copying and pasting passages from quoted posts with smart remarks in between.  And all courtesy of this CoachJoe dude and a gal named jodiewaller.  Seriously, where are the moderators when you need them?

Really, from the way you’ve been posting, it sounds like you “adults” are acting like children.  Drop your pants so I can give YOU a spanking!  LOL!

Seriously, CoachJoe, judging from your posts that I have read, it seems that you are a man of little patience and serious stress and frustration issues.  You say you have three children, all of whom are out of control, non-spanking punishments have rarely worked, how does the spanking work, really?  Combined with the problems you’re having with your wife, it seems that one (or both) of you needs parenting classes in the worst way.  Or here’s a better idea summed up in one word: Supernanny.

Could it be that your children are starving for one-on-one attention from you?  I think that’s what may help here.  Is there any need for you to be working all the time?  7 AM to 5 PM, instead of the normal 9 to 5, or 7 to 3?  Dr. Phil has always stated that if needs be, sell the house and live in a one-room shack with an outhouse to work less hours.  You say you have grounded them from Playstation, X-box and everything else; try selling some of those things, along with the television, and see if this helps cut back on electricity and cable bills.  If your children are acting out in this kind of manner, it’s more than likely because they’re craving for you to pay more attention.  A dog would touch your lap to let you know he needs you to take him out so he can use the bathroom.

And for goodness sakes, do something with your wife.  If she is always screaming at you and accusing you of stupid crap, then it’s obvious that the kids are picking up on this, taking cues from her, then something is wrong in the family, and it’s very likely that they don’t respect you because you won’t do anything about it.  You need professional marriage counselling, my friend, and you should go together.  If your wife won’t comply, go alone.  You will know from that if this marriage is worth saving.  If that doesn’t work, then maybe you need to consider separation and a good, inexpensive divorce lawyer who can help.  If it comes down to that, you need to be there for you boys as much as you can.  Again, spending some quality time with them when you can can and will help.

It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to know that you’re in a severely dysfunctional family and you need help.  I hope you will heed this advice.  I will be praying for you.

Well, it seems that not only are these old discipline boards dead, but apparently, some people have definitely ran this CoachJoe off the boards for good with his/her malicious anti-spanking preaching.  Let me tell you right now, that I would never get that vicious.  But I would like to ask CoachJoe (who seems to anally favour spanking) a very important question – do you have any children or know of any children with severe disabilities in both physical and mental endurance?  I’m talking about children with sever effects of cerebral palsy as well as Shaken Baby Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Now, I know I’ve posted this in the “Spanking Scandals” message boards before, but I see you also posted there, but you may not have seen my message, so this is for you.  Question: if you found out that your wife was drinking and drugging up her pregnancy so bad, and you learned the baby would come out severely retarded as a result, what would you do?  If you got so angry with one of your sons as babies, would you even think of shaking them so badly, that you would cause them to have brain damage?  I’m assuming you already know this, but that’s what Shaken Baby Syndrome is.  How would you respond if you were in this boat?  Any paediatrician in the country – maybe the world – will tell you that spanking this child even on the buttocks will be ineffective; not only will he not listen to you, but he will also be more stressed out – and probably more defiant –than before.  As a father who is obviously big on authority and expectations for children, this won’t be the result you’ll be wanting.

Google “Shaken Baby Syndrome” or “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,” and you’ll find a wealth of information websites about these lifelong causes.  I’ve especially noticed that in websites for the former, they don’t have a section on discipline measures for children.  That’s because these children cannot comprehend right from wrong like normal children can.  It would be a better idea to get down to this child’s level and explain in a calming voice that was he did was very naughty, and that he should never do that again.  Or simply redirect him to something more constructive.  The only thing is you probably need to watch this child 24/7/365, as he needs round the clock care.  I doubt you’re the type of father who would be up for that.

If you’re interested, I’ve written two stories that combine corporal punishment with serious disabilities.  The first story is “Valerie.”  In this story, the title character decides to get her SBS-ridden son away from her husband, who spanks and beats the boy for chronic misbehaviour just because he has a parental point to prove.  (She heeds doctor’s advice, uses common sense and refuses to spank her son for this reason.)  When she wins sole custody in a quickie divorce, she moves to the big city and falls in love with a group of police officers, and they adopt her thinking, despite their own views on spanking. Unfortunately, she encounters people at work, and few family members (even in her beaux’s families) who apparently agree with her husband on this issue, and they criticize her parenting techniques.  Which side are you on?

You probably think this should be left up to the parents, but it isn’t wise to let your hunger for authority and order cloud your common sense.

I've also started a brand new novel project called "Broken Family Portrait."  It's about a cerebral palsic young man named Robin Callbeck (ne: Marchland) who uses his life experiences to become a controversial radio personality.  He has many physical and learning disabilities, including a brain filter that does not work, so he has a real problem with talking back to elders and peers.  Robin is a non-believer in family togetherness, and for good reason.  As a young child, he suffered physical abuse at his father's hands, and his mother only stays because of the begging of his family-obsessed older sisters, Abilene and Olivia (though Abilene is the worse one here.)  Mrs. Marchland divorces her husband anyway, and because she holds herself fully responsible for how her son turned out, obligates herself to be both parent and friend to him (which Robin prefers.)  She later marries a police officer who is also parent and friend to Robin.  As you can tell, Robin is anti-spanking, and this does not change after he becomes a parent.  Meantime, Abilene and Olivia are rude and disrespectful to their mother as the strive to break up the new family (a "fake family" as they call it) in pushing her to get back together with their real father.  When she refuses, they hold the divorce over her head, so to speak, as they do the same to Robin.

In the novel, Robin has the following experiences, among many others:

• fights with high school student peers who claim that they were spanked and belted as often as Robin, who actually support this measure all the way.
• loses his drivers license after a very short time when he is hospitalized, after a horrific car accident involving the wife and family of one of his stepfather's colleagues.
• has a tumultuous marriage in which the wife constantly cheats on him with members of public authority and "men in uniform."  (She even sleeps with two of Robin's sisters' husbands, both of whom are in the military.)  DNA shows Robin is the father of her twin boys, but not her younger son, which leads to divorce.
• deals with Abilene and Olivia's husbands, both of whom are a lot older than the sisters (this happens after their father dies), and who physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse both their wives and children.  Robin ends up living with one of them after the divorce, when she bores a mentally retarded child born three months too early.  Both sisters refuse to leave because of their children, although Olivia begins to have trust issues with her husband.
• embarks on a long tour of the United States as a result of his popularity, in which he takes along his children and sister that he’s living with.  Unfortunately, this results in her husband throwing Robin and his sons out, and they have to live with Robin's other older sister, Susan, and her husband.
• makes friends with a young widowed father who is also anti-spanking because of a special needs child (following doctors' orders.)  When his friend is murdered by a pro-spanking couple who keeps threatening them, Robin soon learns of other related murders in other parts of the country, and makes a connection with the suspects.
• gets confronted by the group of pro-spanking parents (four adult siblings and their spouses) whom he believes killed his friend and the other anti-spanking special needs parents a few years earlier.  This angry group gangs up and tries to kill Robin, but when he recovers, not only does it fuel his anti-spanking stance, he wants to see justice done to the pro-spankers.

I’ve posted both stories on the Internet, but can’t post the links because they won’t work.  You probably won’t see this, but if you do, and you’re interested, e-mail me at davewriter2003@yahoo.com and I’ll gladly send the stories your way.

As I’ve said before, these boards are probably dead now, so this message probably won’t get a single response.  But I’m sure you’ll have something to say about this.  And if you don’t reply, I’ll at least have the honour of posting the very last post in this section before these boards are closed to new posts forever.