Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

I must say that I have to agree with you on this one. A five year old has no business spanking and adult  for any reason!!! Not only is it completely rediculous behavior from the parents and grandparents to a child that kind of authority and control , but it is also very disturbing in even bigger ways !!!! For starters that they would expect guests in their house to participate in such ludicy , and then become offended when they refuse, but that they would condone and encourage this kind of action to begin with !!! These people need some serious HELP!!!!!!!  They are creating a monster and one day they are going to wake up and realize they had lost all control if they ever had any to begin with of this child , and they are going to pay hell to get it back!!!!! If they ever really can !!!

WTF? LOL!!!

That is terrible! I'm against spanking in the first place, but to teach an impressionable child that violence is the way to respond when someone breaks a rule...wow!

How is this kid going to survive school? He's going to be sent home for hitting other kids!!!!

 Actually, I've given this spanking issue a good thought. It's like I've been considering it's pros and
cons for some years now and I came up with something like a conclusion and that is, I don't 'too much'
like the idea of a spanking.

The way I look at things, if I want to discipline my child for doing somethig wrong, I'll start with
reasoning with the child, I want to know why he/she did this or did that.Is this child having a
difficulty understanding? Is he aware that this is wrong? Is he just being naughty?  I'll want to let
such a child know why the act is considered wrong and the reason why he/she should not do it
again.Absolutely no punishment for the first time. I'll also pick my battles, is this worth punishing or
not? Because actually to be truthful, some things are just not worth punishing,children would be
children, they are not perfect.But the thing is, if a child has been warned against a particular
'harmful'behaviour and he/she goes on to do it DELIBERATELY, then I believe strongly that a punishment
should be in place.But if it isn't deliberate, it'll be cruel to punish.

Now talking  about punishment, the way I see it, I feel that it should match the 'crime' so to speak.
Like milder punishments for milder infractions and vice versa, logical consequences. Use something
related to the infraction to punish the child. You see, training a child involves two key aspects among
others, REWARD & PUNISHMENT. And if they are in balanced proportion in a healthy and child-friendly
environment, children grow to become well-balanced adults.

But the question is, can I spank my children? Though I'm not a fan of it, I would allow myself to spank
on two occasions only. First, if the child refuses to follow through with a punishment and second, if the
child  does something he/she has repeatedly been warned against, while in both situations showing acts of clear stubborness/insubordination. If I have to spank, I'll first warn the child that I will spank if he
doesn't follow through or if he repeats the infraction as the case may be. Then if I need to, one or two
strokes is enough, at most six strokes and no more. It's just a lesson, my aim is not to beat the HELL
out of my child. But at the same time, it must be felt. I'll firm when I need to. Left to me, spankings
should NEVER be a regular thing, if ever it is used, it should be used sparingly. Left to me also, If you
have to spank a child more than once or twice or thrice at most in his/her lifetime, then there must be
something amiss somewhere which needs to be dealt with.

Thanks.




 

I also believe that spanking should be used as a last resort.  We mainly use the 1-2-3 magic approach and use other disciplining techniques, like timeouts, removal of privileges/toys, etc.  I don't believe that spanking is cruel...I believe there are times when spanking can be used appropriately and effectively.  However, I do think other avenues should be attempted before issuing a spanking.  There is a really great debate about the use of spanking at www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline.  Experts from both sides debate the relevant points and both sides bring up some interesting points. 

I live in Denmark, Europe - and the show about spanking has just been aired here. I can not believe what I have just seen. It broke my heart to see adults act and justify that type of behavior and abuse towards children.

In Denmark it's illegal for any adult to hit, spank or beat any child - NO MATTER the circumstances!

The teachers right to spank, hit or use any physical methodes of discipline was abolished by law more that 30 years ago!

I would NEVER hit or spank my son in any way over anything! NEVER! I have never been hit or spanked by my parents either. It's tough being a parent - yes - but you always have the choice to turn around walk away and count to 100.

To be hit , beat or whatever you would like to call it - is degrading, offending and scary and will leave marks both on your soul and on your body!

Something I wonder is; Why would you ever lay a hand on the most precious thing you'll ever have -  your child - when you never (I hope!!) would hit your neighbor, someone on the stree or a colleague??

Why is it that you teach your kids not to fight or hit other kids? When you practise it towards them?

 

All I can say is that I am appalled and that my heart goes out to all the kids in the US and the rest of the world who still have to grow up in this sort of environment.

I believe that spanking can be useful in certain situations, I do however do not believe that it is an opportunity to beat your child because you are angry. i think that each situation should be thought about before any type of punishment is given out.

I  speak from experience in saying that spanking is nothing but cruel.
It, in no way, promotes discipline int he home.

I am a victim of child abuse. The "discipline" used in my household was spanking or rather beating. If one of us did something wrong or even was blamed for doing something wrong there was no warning, no explanation, and worst of all no taking the time to figure out if it was even the right kid that was being punished. My mom would immediately start screaming at the top of her lungs and grab the closest thing to her and hit us with it. Or just slap our mouths or spank our butt. People may say that spanking doesn't hurt very much so it is okay but at least the way my mom spanked, it was quite painful especially when she was especially angry.

The only thing I can understand is if a child is about to touch a hot stove or something else that can hurt them it would make since to slap the\ir hand away so they can't touch it but even that would not be painful, shoking but not painful. However, the way I was "spanked" created a very hostile environment for me. Causing me to fear my mom and my brothers because they were shown by this form of "discipline" that it was okay to hit, kick, throw things, and bully me.  She would also name call especially after she had spanked me and if I cried she would threaten more physical abuse and call me names such as; cry baby, brat, B!tch, e.t.c.

I believe spnking leads to more physical punishment and causes children to fear their parents. I fear my parents and am often afraid to ask questions or to be open with them. I don;t feel comfortable with my family as I should or safe with them. And I know that the largest cause is the "discipline" they chose and the constent yelling and name calling.

Spanking is Cruel, plain and simple.

Spanking a child with their pants pulled down is often sexual abuse in addition to physical abuse. A child who is old enough to be embarrassed and humiliated by their private parts being exposed is experiencing sexual abuse whether or not the parent  means it as such. The buttocks are an erogenous zone. This type of spanking is particularly harmful to female children who often grow up associating pain and humiliation with sex. I grew up with a mother who turned me over to my father to be spanked in this way with a large wooden paddle until his arm was tired. Does this still affect my at 45?  Yes.  It should be against the law to do to a child what would send you to jail if you did to your neighbor.  Children are not chattel.