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Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:50:41 pm
Author : dataimport
Is spanking a necessary evil or can you discipline effectively without physical punishment? Sound off about spanking.

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July 16, 2009, 12:52 pm CDT

They'll Teach You a Lesson

Quote From: sindey77

I use to think spanking was OK. After all, I was spanked as a kid, I feel I have turned out pretty normal. However, I've noticed that on "Supernanny"  Jo Frost never advocates spanking. Every family she deals with seems to resolve their parenting issues, and their kids seem to turn around.  

I say " seem" since it is reality televison we are talking about. 

You should read, They'll Teach You a Lesson by MaryAnn Aikins.  It is the nuts and bolts of parenting.  Each chapter is about a different child the author has dealt with and the lesson (s)he has taught her.  The chapters are easy to read but stay with you a long time.
 
July 24, 2009, 7:54 am CDT

lol

Quote From: jbslady2000

I am a mother of 4 boys 15,13,10 and 4. I was also raised in a house with 4 brothers and parents who believed in spanking, with a mother who always said'wait until your father gets home!!!' I was spanked as a child and as I got into my teen years The punishment changed from spankings to severe groundings. From the perspective of the child being spanked I would have to agree that I got into alot less trouble and really feared defying my parents, but as that punishment faded and it became 'your grounded' I began to change perspective. It really wasn't until recently that I realized why I had changed so much those last 5 years living at home. But having a teen now, made me really sit back and think about it. When I got spanked, I knew that I had really hurt my parents, I could see in their faces that it was killing them to spank me but that I was going to be spanked because I disobeyed the rules of the house. I could see the disappointment and the lack of trust, and it really hurt more than the spanking did. My parents did not like or enjoy spanking us as children, and I think that was why that job was left up to my dad most times. Any time my mother spanked us she would cry while doing it, although that changed as we got older too. But when I was grounded, I felt differently, I was angry, offended, and hated my parents . They were taking my life away I felt. I can remember when I was 14 and my school was going on the Washington DC trip. I had a freind stay over one weekend that school year before the trip, she was quite a wild friend and she had snuck wine coolers from her house over. I was so mad at her because I was not the drinker teen and she knew it. But anyway, she hide the empty bottles in my dresser behind the drawers, and had forgotten to take them with her when she went back home, andmy mom found then.No trip, and I was grounded for the rest of the school year and the entire summer that followed. Even after My friend called my mother and explained to her that they were not mine she wouldn't let up. All it did was make me push back harder. She grounded me, I would sneek out, she took my phone away, so I would stay after school with out asking.

With my kids, Yes I spank them and I do feel that for most kids it does work. I can say that I have had good results from spanking my kids. I unlike my parents explain to my kids why they are being spanked, we discuss what they did and why it was wrong on a first offense(sometimes a second offence if they are younger) we tell them how thry could have avoided getting into trouble to begin with so that they then leave the punishment with alternatives, but in the end, they still get a spanking if the offense such merits one.

My 15 year old is a great kid. Very well mannered, respectful of others, and an outstanding student in school. He has had a few spankings in his days but not many . Now On the other hand I do have my 13 and 10 year olds who are testing this theory to the bitter end!! Theyare both very defyant, they hate eachother, they are destructive in ways that are just unbelievable and expensive. They have began swearing at both their dad and myself, as well as anyone else. They throw fits that are sure to win grammy's should they ever become actors, and not to mention all my neighbors call our house the nut house, thanks to the lovley diplays that my children put on daily !!! But the funny thing is, we go out in public and they act like perfect angels and people tell me how wonderful they are and I just want to scream. I feel like the person in the dream that is screaming and running but it falls on deaf ears and I get nowhere! But, I do spank them. We have in the past reserved spankings for severe infractions, but theirs are severe everyday, all day long. So now I am at the point that I am questioning myself, spanking has always worked and I do believe that it will always work, but I now have a case where I am spanking my boys on a daily basis. And no it isn't for the same offense everytime! I have gotten throught the 13 year old and he has started to be less chaotic to deal with , he has calmed down and made some really good progress in the fit throwing department. Still trying to get a grip on the lying and destruction. But the 10 year old justgives a whole new meaning to words psych ward!!!! Sometimes my husband and I feel that his issues stretch far beyond us!!! As for the the 4 year old, he has just really started to get spankings. And he is learning very quickly that he doesn't want to have to be told more than once. He will even tell people who come over to the house now what the rules are and what happens if mommy and daddy have already corrected you once if they have to do it again you get popped on your hiness!!! And that you must always say please and thank you, yes mam/sir, no mam/sir, and please excuse me, or excuse me please. And he even says 'there are no sorries in this house'. Because our first house rule is that there are no sorries, no reasons and excuses for broken rules.

Are u f****** kidding me? You are treating ur Children like soldiers. If i read carefully, it's like u are ENJOYING to Spank ur children. Do u even ask them a few times before spanking, or u do it inmedietly? It Seems u are spanking them inmedietly, and second: 'As for the the 4 year old, he has just really started to get spankings'? Please!!!! are u f****** kidding or what who spanks a 4 year old kid, u can do it on other ways to u know?
 
July 24, 2009, 1:52 pm CDT

There is a difference..

Quote From: kinnetik

Hello people,

  This is my first  time posting so I'm gonna contribute with my own experience. My mother used to spank us for almost everything. And not only spank us, if she had a belt lying around, it would,most certainly, be used on my sisters and I. I learned to fear her because of this: one moment she would love us dearly and the other she would spank us and hit us mercilessly for the most ridiculous things that were a big deal to her. My mother and her mother before her were terribly violent. My unclestell stories about how they ran from grandma when she was angry becauseshe could throw anything that was in her hand to them. Mother wasexactly the same.

  I know that children need discipline. As a teacher, I seen children and teenagers whose limits are not set at home and they behave terribly at school. However, I've seen better responses in behaviour when you talk to them and explain the situation -as my father did to me-rather than induce fear by discipline-hitting.

  I tell you, I'm 25 and I still remember every beating I got ( the one with the broomstick  was unforgettable). In my teen years, I used to hate my mother and pray to God so he -or she- could devise a way to send me far away from my house. My mother died about 5 years ago and I can tell you that I don't  miss her that much. And thanks to her, I don't have any desire to be a mom since I may repeat all the things she did to me unto an innocent.

  Beware of spanking; sometimes it may be useful but in the long run, it is definetely going to affect your relashionship with your children. You want them to love you and respect you, not to fear you.

Bye

 

You're obviously traumatized my your mom's behaviour. I'd say that's child abuse. Like, spanking for almost everything? That's absurd.

 

I don't believe spanking to be child abuse, as long as the children actually KNOW why they are being spanked (andof course, the 'beating' isn't as severe as it was in your case.)

 

I do think that it can be positive thing as long as parents know they know when they're 'lesson' because abuse.

 

I hope your experience doesn't keep you from being an objective teacher, one who can really see the pro's and con's of things. Being 15 myself, I can't begin to tell you how much a biased teacher really affect us teens. It's EXTREMELY important to have an objective 3rd party to give us guidance. Especially someone who sees us everyday and who gets to know us for at least a year, if not more.

 

Good luck on your career! 

 

P.S: Yes I was spanked as a child too,

 
August 16, 2009, 11:37 pm CDT

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

In my own opinion spanking does not consider child abuse, but is a good way to make child to be more decipline. Many countries is even make spanking valid in law. As long as span didn't hurt child then everything is fine.
 
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