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Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Number of Replies: 2264
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:50:41 pm
Author : dataimport
Is spanking a necessary evil or can you discipline effectively without physical punishment? Sound off about spanking.

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January 9, 2006, 2:33 pm CST

Changed my mind

I use to think spanking was OK. After all, I was spanked as a kid, I feel I have turned out pretty normal. However, I've noticed that on "Supernanny"  Jo Frost never advocates spanking. Every family she deals with seems to resolve their parenting issues, and their kids seem to turn around.  

I say " seem" since it is reality televison we are talking about. 

 
January 9, 2006, 3:23 pm CST

Spanking is Ineffective

   I stand very firm against spanking.  Not because I think it's cruel, but simply because it is not effective.  Many would argue, but I feel I have a background that gives me credibiltiy with the issue.  My father spanked me and my sisters while we were growing up.  We feared him so much that we never had a relationship with him.  I will never forget the worst spanking of all...I was 13, my siter 11.  We got caught stealing from a grocery store and we got it pretty good.  To him, it appeared that the spanking worked because we made sure never to steal again..unless he was not there to catch us and spank us =)  I have recently acchieved my Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education and Human Development Family Studies.  It was in my studies that I learned that spanking is simply a short term punishment.  It does not teach children to make their own good decisions, or teach them logical consequences.  I basically sends then the message that they can do whatever they want to do as long as they don't get caught by mom or dad, or whoever the spanker may be.  To me, it is a lazy way to punish a child, and the goal should not be punishment anyways, but should focus on discipline.  There are so many better tequniques out there that can have such a better long term impact on a child.  My husband and I have never once laid a hand on our 2 1/2 year old, and she is so well behaved.  I know every mother says this =) but I recieve compliments everywhere we go, weather it be her preschool, church, the grocery store, or on the airplane.  Some say it is her easy temperment, but those who were really around to see the cranky baby and the strong-willed toddler will attest that it is our patience, persistence, and consistencey with her that has really paid off. 

  On another note, because I'm sure there are many who disagree with me, I want to specify that I never judge a parent who spanks.  Everyone has there reasons for what they do, weather  spanking was a learned behavior, or the result of a short fuse, it does not mean they are a "bad" parent.  There have been many times as a mother, like in the middle of a store with a kicking 1-year-old at my feet and everyone staring at me, when I have had the urge to spank.  I feel that my education has helped keep me calm, which results in my ability to use more logical consequences with my daughter.  However, in all honesty, there have been many times when I have said to myself, "This is why parents spank their children." 

 
January 9, 2006, 3:26 pm CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

I choose NOT to spank my three children!  I was spanked as child, it just taught me to fear my parents vs. "I'm never doing that again!"  I do not feel there is any "RIGHT WAY" to spank!  I do know people who do spank there children, I feel it is wrong but it is not my place to tell another parent how to raise there children.  We all need to take more time with our kids and teach and guide them more.  (not a quick swap on the butt to get the point across)  You would not want your boss to slap you if you didnt do what you were asked to do.  OR  What kind of message are you sending your kids for when they are in relationships (hitting)  How many of you would stay with your spouse if they came in the room and slapped you!!  I would say "SEE YA!"  Thats what I have to say,....for now! 

 
January 9, 2006, 3:33 pm CST

WWDPD

For those proponents of spanking, did you forget whose site you're on? Dr. Phil does not condone spanking as a disciplinarian tool. Nowhere in Family First does he say to spank your children. It only promotes violence, and that is one thing this country could do without. Besides, do you want compliance from your children because they're afraid of you, or because they respect you? Sparing the rod does not necessarily mean spoiling the child. There are so many alternative methods... pick one from DP, and leave spanking in the 60's where it belongs. I have never spanked either my 9 yr. old girl or 5 yr. old boy and they are incredibly respectful and well-behaved, and show no signs of violent behavior what-so-ever. I don't think it's luck or a coincidence. I'm just Parenting with Purpose.
 
January 9, 2006, 5:02 pm CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Quote From: sindey77

I use to think spanking was OK. After all, I was spanked as a kid, I feel I have turned out pretty normal. However, I've noticed that on "Supernanny"  Jo Frost never advocates spanking. Every family she deals with seems to resolve their parenting issues, and their kids seem to turn around.  

I say " seem" since it is reality televison we are talking about. 

I was spanked all the time when I was a kid and became a very sensative person. It is so to how you look at it. If the chiled gets spanked over somthing very small that is wrong, but if it is somethin avrage or big  I think it is fine. all Parents should be alowed to spank their chiled no matter how old they are. My  brother let his daughters do everything they want and now they are heading the wrong way.
 
January 9, 2006, 6:58 pm CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

I have noticed that the people who disagree with spanking are very vocal about it.   

  

If you think spanking is the greatest thing next to sliced bread then please give us all your thoughts!!!!!!!  If you stay quiet about something that you do, and everyone else is against it, then why not defend it!!! ( Maybe deep down you know it is wrong)  If you feel your self getting out of control, just take a deep breath leave the room, take 5 min, come back, try it again.  your kids will see that self control is important.  And to the people who slap while they ARE in control then who the heck do you think you are!   You do not "OWN" your children, you are simply here to guide, teach, love them untill they go out on there own.   

 
January 10, 2006, 1:01 am CST

No Spanking Policy

I grew up with a "No Spanking Policy"  My parents taught me that a parent's hand is to be nurturing, and loving.   

 
January 10, 2006, 3:18 pm CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Quote From: sito237

I have noticed that the people who disagree with spanking are very vocal about it.   

  

If you think spanking is the greatest thing next to sliced bread then please give us all your thoughts!!!!!!!  If you stay quiet about something that you do, and everyone else is against it, then why not defend it!!! ( Maybe deep down you know it is wrong)  If you feel your self getting out of control, just take a deep breath leave the room, take 5 min, come back, try it again.  your kids will see that self control is important.  And to the people who slap while they ARE in control then who the heck do you think you are!   You do not "OWN" your children, you are simply here to guide, teach, love them untill they go out on there own.   

Actually, there has been several people on this sight who believes in spanking, it's just that it gets old after a while and I think there are some who have voiced their opinions and views so many times that it was time to move on, away from this board. As I have stated in past postings, I personally do not have a problem with spanking as I have done it but it is a very rare thing here and to be perfectly honest, though my children have their moments, basically all I have to do is give them a "look" and will give them a choice which will consist of something like this, "you can either settle down now, or we will go home and you can go to bed", They then have 3 seconds to give me their choice and things are fine. following through and being consistent is the key to discipline and if children are not responding positively to discipline, then we as parents need to be open minded enough to make the changes that need to be made and I for one am a very open minded person, especially when it comes to my children.....I really do not have much more to say on this subject as I am one that has said everything that I have to say and maybe in time, some one new will get connected to the board and add some insight.
 
January 13, 2006, 6:46 am CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Im not here to say spanking is right or wrong. every parent has there own way of disipline for their child. Who are we to judge what is the right way or the worng way to disipline. I was spanked alot when i was a child, then when i got older the spankings (which stopped me from what i was doing wrong) went to slaps across the face( which is abuse i think). I always swore to my father that when i got older and had kids i would never spank them. To this day i have never spanked them and they are 5 and 7 ( God knows they probably could use one now and then), but i cant bring myself to do it.  Most of the time they are very good, all i have to do is say "ok boys thats enough or you will lose such and such" But there are alot of times that they walk all over me and I know they are thinking well we can pretty much do what ever we want and their is nothing mom is going to do about it. I have a hard time with disipline, my boys have me right where they want me and I know that when they get older it is going to be worse if I dont stop them know.. Any suggestions on what I should be doing? 

 
January 13, 2006, 2:44 pm CST

Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Quote From: jettav

Actually, there has been several people on this sight who believes in spanking, it's just that it gets old after a while and I think there are some who have voiced their opinions and views so many times that it was time to move on, away from this board. As I have stated in past postings, I personally do not have a problem with spanking as I have done it but it is a very rare thing here and to be perfectly honest, though my children have their moments, basically all I have to do is give them a "look" and will give them a choice which will consist of something like this, "you can either settle down now, or we will go home and you can go to bed", They then have 3 seconds to give me their choice and things are fine. following through and being consistent is the key to discipline and if children are not responding positively to discipline, then we as parents need to be open minded enough to make the changes that need to be made and I for one am a very open minded person, especially when it comes to my children.....I really do not have much more to say on this subject as I am one that has said everything that I have to say and maybe in time, some one new will get connected to the board and add some insight.
I am new to the boards Jan. 9th was my first day.  I have noticed that alot of the messages are the same.  People are for it or against it or they really dont care either way.   I think we all need to get off to another subject,  if any at all.  Spend more time with our families.  Nobody is going to change anyones mind about this subject..  Im off like a dirty shirt!  See Ya ladies : )
 
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