Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

Hi Amanda and other readers, 

My name is Reece and I am also new to the message board even though I do visit the site quite a bit. When I read your comments, I had to reply. I think it is absolutely a hughe NO...NO  for a child to curse at an adult, especially his/her parents. I agree with spanking !!!!! I was spanked and it did not scar or distort my views at all. I have two beautiful girls and my husband  and I both displine them in several  different ways. Many people think spanking is beating the child and that is a huge mis-conception. Spanking a child will only re-enforce your house rules. I will be the first to admit that this will not work in all households but I will say this. If more parents grew a back bone and decided to rear their children and not let the state mandate how to rear their child, there would be a lot less children in juvenile detention. My grandmother always told me, I am going to spank your butt now so the police won't  have an excuse to beat your in the streets.  

I must say that I agree with you 100%...........................great quote...every word 

You should never use violence against a child.  If you can't raise a child without having to hit him/her then you are not a very creative parent.  You never see super nanny telling parents to slap their kids.  Time out and penalities work just fine but they may take a bit more creativity and time whereas hitting a child takes nothing more than a parent that can't be bothered to find a better way to deal with a childs wrong behavior.  DON"T HIT KIDS! 

well congratulations, at least you have control of the situation. And yes violence is never a good solution to problems. Smacking alone is not a creative solution and it is not a  univeral panacea but neither is talking a child to death nor is time out nor is removal of privildges.   

Also various punishments and discipline methods work on differently on various children, depending on their ages and temperments.  

I believe if you only use smacking you are lost. If you only use time out or other isolating punishments etc you are lost, for they only work with the co-operation of the child.  

Tell a child that a candle flame will burn them and most children will believe you, and not touch but very few children will stick their finger into a candle flame a second time.  

Now we have as our biological duty the responsibilty to raise a socially functional, healthy biologically functioning adult. But they are infants first, then children, then teenagers and then and only then adults, that takes 20 years. We have to do our best to breed'em raise'em then ship'em out. Teaching a person that the world is going to be a gentle kind place is cruelty of the highest order. You step out of line in the world and you are going to get something really hard and heavy slapped on you.  

If parents started raising kids to be adults instead of trying to raise friends i think the world would be a better place. Just because you gave birth to them doesn't mean you have to like them nor them you.   

My two children were raised with physical discipline along with verbal and other chastisments. They didn't like me at times well tough! But both my adults that i have raised are good strong independant individuals who own their own behavior and with whom we are intergenerational friends.  

When my daughter was  in preschool, I attended a film presentation at the school.  In the film, a young mother was coping with two children.  The boy was hitting his sister. Mom pulled the boy aside, and sat coloring with him, to "distract" him.  After the film, the preschool teacher asked what we thought.  I said I thought the mother encouraged the boy's bad behavior by rewarding it with her full and positive attention.  The teacher said, "What would you have done?"  I said, "I'd have spanked him."   

The audience was shocked, especially my daughter's teacher.  She gasped, "You spank your daughter?"  I said, "Sure, when it's called for."   She said, "I don't believe it.  She's one of the best-behaved children in my class!"  As if this were proof that I shouldn't be spanking her.  The thought of the look of incomprehension on her face still amuses me, some 30 years later.  

Incidentally, my little abused daughter went on to become a wonderful elementary school teacher, a happy wife and productive citizen.  I'm not taking credit, but I don't think spanking was the wrong way to go.  

Hi Reece and other readers   

 I just wanted to tell everyone that my son does know the rules in our home and follows them. It is just this one problem with swearing that I have been dealing with. He just learned this (swearing) from a kid at his daycare and it stuck. I believe that he shouldnt be swearing at me as well. But I have found that in his particular situation spanking just makes things ALOT worse. My son is different from your children I quess.    

I just have to ask this... If you spank your children when they do something wrong (make a mistake) are you not affraid that they will hit others if they are wrong'd by them?  I just dont see why hitting/slapping has to be the result of a mistake. What's wrong with taking away one thing that they enjoy most until they have learned their lesson?   

Iam not saying that any way is better or worse than the other. Iam just saying that It just wouldnt work with my son.   

Thank-you...   

That is exactly how I feel on the subject...You found great words to express what I have been trying to say...