Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

I am a bit confused by people getting upset about spanking. I personally have spanked and would spank again if it was a very very serious thing that could not be tolerated even once.  I have only done it a few times. I use the corner constantly and that seems to do the trick (although In my situation where they get none at their moms, they seem to hate coming to my house and being put in the courner constantly).

In nature animals always use external force to disipline.  I think it's the very simplest form of disipline and should not be taken away from parents as a tool. YES i agree there are better ways, but if it comes down to parents having no disipline in the house and spanking I take spanking. I know plenty of kids growing up who had NONE and did the most horrid things when I was visiting. Saying the f word to their parents and so on. Where as I was spanked, and I respected (possibly feared my mother) but I don't love her any less. She worked with what she knew, and I am glad she gave me displine. She did tend to go a bit overboared, but was a single mom and they tend to go overboard more anyway.

Anyway I don't think people should absolutly wipe out spanking as a form of disipline. It works in nature. It's the simplest form of it and it's better then nothing which is what a great deal of kids are getting now.  I am all for educating parents on how to do it other ways though!  I don't get why in HIGH SCHOOL there isn't a manditory parenting class. I really wish I had known a few things when I had my daughter not that I ever had to spank her. Just my boy a few times.

According to the Bible it is the way you are to discipline. No where in the Bible does it mention "time out".   

Who came up with "time out". All those that took the authority of parenting away from the parents. It is because of the mentally of those parents we have the unruly generations we do today.

Proverbs 13:24  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. (KJV)

also, some kids have weak stress tolerance. being discplined or confined in any way, can have the opposite reaction: they will build their whole personality on the basis of never being controlled again; reversing the child hood scenario, they will now control and play power games which can have severe consequences for the people around them when they're adults.

Has anyone seen one of the shows where Dr. Phil talks about the time where one of his boys were rude to Robin?? He talks about how he stops the car and tells (I think it was Jay) not to be disrespectful to his mother (or I belive his words were, my wife).

I had a discussion with a friend today about whether Dr. Phil said that he would spank Jay or not?? I belive that Dr. Phil is very much against spanking and I don't belive that he has ever spanked his kids, but my friend says he has heard Dr. Phil say in the show that he gave Jay a choise of either getting spanked or sayin he was sorry to Robin.

Help me remember exactly what he said!

Thanks!!

Christina

   I have been on here reading the posts and it appears that most people mix up spanking with abuse. When you pop a child on their hand (even if it leaves a red mark) or their but, emphasising with a  NO it doesn't take long for them to get the picture. I never gave a spanking to either of my kids after 6 years of age. No TV or sent to room if need be.

    My parents dished out spankings on each of us 5 kids and each of us grew up just fine and we disciplined our children the same way and each of us have great kida with no use for rehab for any of them. The majority of our kids don't smoke or drink and have never gotten involved with drugs. 

    So I believe in spanking. Those of you that think it is cruel probably have children that don't listen very well and misbehave at home and in public. Speaking of public, we have gotten where when we go out to  eat we request not to be seated near any children

I have had 4 children and the first 3 I did spank and felt terrible about it. What was it teaching them? If they hit their sibling and we say "come over here your getting a spanking for hitting your sister!" yet, we want them not to hit?

Well, I stopped the spankings and used other methods, taking things away and timeouts and such. When I got to my 4th child, I was much older and I tell you what... I have never spanked that child. He is 14 now and is a good kid. He is respectful and loving and listens and is a joy. So are my other kids, they are grown now and living their own lives.

I just want to say if we want to raise our kids to function well in society... we need to start it all at home. To raise a child without hitting and instead with love and just plain communication then they will be able to prosper better when they are adults and move on in their lives.

I have tried both aspects to this subject and the NO spanking is a much better way to go.... at least it worked for me!

I have a pretty strong take when it comes to spanking. I believe it can be effective, but a lot of it has to do with the motive of the parent and the personality of the child.

When I was a child, and even near teen years, my parents would spank me as punishment. I can say for a fact even if it was something small, they always spanked me when they were most angry with whatever I had done or I got blamed for. I don't think parents should resort to physical discipline when they're unreasonably angry. I was very shy and anti-social even as a toddler and liked to be left alone. Spanking became an inconsistent and very painful punishment, and I became very scared and fearful of my parents as a result. There was never any verbal explanation with it. I thought it was normal as a kid, but later I learned that bruises on your bum from the spanking and hand-bruises on your arm from being held during the spanking wasn't normal.

I think it's better to talk things over with your child. You definitely need a calm environment for spanking, and I think if a child's showing fear of their parents from spankings that a new method should be used. Especially as a child gets older, start practicing grounding and restrictions, but also give them a certain amount of imput. Don't let them run the show, but at least let them talk afterwards so they feel like they're being heard. Don't threaten a kid, and certainly never discipline them when you're severely angry: in my opinion that can only be destructive.

I am a teenager who love and respect my parents and I never been spanked in my life.

I live in Sweden where it is ILLEGAL to do so, and my parents never would hurt me with purpose.

All Swedes who watched the show became terrefied that it IS legal to spank children in the US.

It has been outlawed in our country since 1979.

SWE is by the way not a country with evil and undiciplined children, but a country with low crimerate and just normal families who raises their children by reasoning with them.

I am not saying that my country is better that yours nor want to brag,

I just want to show you that a society can work without spanking, and that me and my friends never would let our parents down, when they given us their trust.

I wish you all a happy 2008!

Hugs EVA ÖSTBÄRG