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May 16, 2008, 9:50 pm PDT
Spanking: Useful or Cruel?
Quote From: jettavdiscipline is something all of us need in life, it is something that is needed to keep us on the right track. discipline for children is about teaching and guiding them into learning right from wrong, learning to make good choices and helping them become good and productive adults. All of us as parents have differnet views and experiences and what works for one child may not work for another, whether a parent spanks or not should not be the determining factor on whether we think a parent is a good parent or not, but looking at the children and seeing what is being accomplished with them, in their attitudes, their behaviors, their relationships with their parents/family and how they treat others can be keys in determining how a parent is doing with their child but at the same time realizing that children are not alike and some are harder then others to discipline and in that case, chances are the parent has not sought out the "right" discipline for that child. I think some people are too quick to judge becasue they do not agree with a technique.
I personally do not have a problem with spanking as I have spanked on a few occasions, a swat on the diaper, but for the most part, I have found that rediercting, taking something away for a period of time (for my four year old, she loses priveleges), and communication and consistency is definetly imporant keys in disciplining our children. children need to know what they did wrong and why they are being disciplined. My four year old always knows these things and though she will throw a temper cause she has lost a privelege, she knows it is a waste of time that I am not gonna give in. Lucky for me, I have two easy kids who do not require too much discipline but they do know that the boundaries are not meant to be crossed, my two year old is a little harder but catching on. :)
There are many resources out there to help parents and it is too bad that there are many not seeking out those resources, none of us are perfect but it is possible to raise good productive kids into becoming great adults, it isn't a matter of whether you spank or not, it is a matter of knowing your child and seeking out what will help them to grow and to mature and for myself personally, I am not afraid to change my technique if needed. We need to ask our selves if what we are doing is helping our kids, if it isn't then something is wrong.
I know people who came from both sides of the issues and those with good loving parents who had the children's interests as a top priority, are great productive loving adults, some have fallen through the cracks of very bad parenting, some were spanked and some were not. definetly working in the inner city with all classes of people have opened my eyes when it comes to parenting. And of course there are always exceptions......(some kids who grow up in great loving homes end up on the other side as well as some who come from abusive situations come out on the good end of things which I am a good example of that).
I believe I personally am a good parent as well as my husabnd, not perfect but we are content with the way things are going in our house hold, and every one is happy and easy to live with. I was rased by my grandparents and they did not beleve in
spanking, they did beleve in time out . And my grandmother was
blined. And her time out, was always when my favorite
tv show was on. She would tell me to be quiet for one minute. (knowing
what I know now, the only thing i would have missed would have been
just the credits not the whole show) My grandmother woulld
go outside and put up the cloaths on the closeline and I would not dare
to move off the chair. Untill she came in and told me i could
move. One day they had me visit my biological mother,
and her husband and there two boys. I gess i
should state our ages I was about 6 and they
were 4 and 5 and they would constantly fight,. There father told
me to stop them,and I would only stand by and look at him like
(your there father its your job to stop them, not myne) I'm
not dum enough to even try. So he gave them a licken with the
belt for fighting, and he gave me a licking for not stoping
them.. After he would walk up the hall, after a few minutes I
started to get them laughing and when i heard him coming I
started crying again and i did that about 5 times. .And ever since
that day he gave me a lickin with the belt i was and still am scared of
him. And when my grandmother told me I would never have to go
there agin. I was happy. I should also tell you,
that my half brothers were both brought up with the belt.
And both did things that got them jailed, and when the youngest
one maried she straighted him out . I am the only one that
graduated, my older sister quite about a week before graduation.
She only had to show up for a week, and she would
graduate. I gess thats enough
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