Topic : Spanking: Useful or Cruel?

I have had a counselor over to the house.  They were provided by the state, so no cost.  I even told my story to Dr. Phil's staff.  They were interested and wanted to know more.  However, in each case, my wife refused to talk to anyone.  She said, "They are too nosy are want to know too much".  The way I interpret that is, "I'm not going to be honest and put myself in a situation where someone tells me I'm wrong, especially on national television".  That may sound harsh, but I know my wife.  In her eyes she is never wrong and can't stand to be told that she is.

I have also mentioned that my boys, when questioned by counselors and police officers, would not respond.  I believe it's for the same reason.  They don't want to hear that they are wrong.

I'm glad I didn't offend you.  After all, my statement was about your situation.  But you admitted you really didn't know him when you married, and that's part of the point I was making.  You and Amy have been wonderful in this forum.  You give advice, but don't judge.  You don't come right out and say, "You're wrong".  That's the way it should be here.  We all have problems.  We are here looking for answers, not criticism or judgment.  Thank you (both) for that..

Read my post history.  You said you haven't, but please do before you make another post like this one.  Yesterday I praised you on you behavior hear.  Reading this post of yours that I am now responding to make me feel like a fool for doing so.  I don't want to retell everything I have posted here over the past weeks.  Did you read where my wife is bipolar?  Have you ever had to deal with someone like that?  We have been evicted from places for her behavior because people don't understand it.  She doesn't mean the things she does, she just has no control over it.  I don't even know enough about bipolar disorder myself to try and explain it, so I'm not even going to try.  I just know, after 15 years, that everything I say or do can be taken wrong by her and sent her into a rant that can last for days.  Therefore, I am very careful about what I say.

You said all I do is give excuses.  Read my post history.  They are not excuses, they are fact.

You also said I am here just for the attention.  Did you really think about that before you typed it?  I don't know any of you.  Why would I seek your attention?  I'm here seeking advice.  If someone gives advice that I have already tried, how am I making an excuse?  And since you stated you were in "blunt mode" or whatever, now you have me in the same mode.  I DON'T CARE what anyone thinks of me.  Not you, not my friends, not my coworkers, no one.  I don't care.  I am happy with who I am no matter what my situation in life might be.  I know I do the best I can and I am okay with that.  No one in this world is so important that I will care what they think of me. 

What I do care about is people who will judge me or my actions without knowing everything I am going through.  Read my post history if you can find them all.  Once you do that, then we may talk.

Well I read it and am not surprised your children are out of control.

Seriously as of what Dec of last year your wife left you?  Took the kids and hightailed it with her *older man* boss from FLA to Michigan.

She allowed your eldest only to call your dad so that he'd send Christmas gifts.  You were out of work at the time correct?  She weighed 120 lb's and battered you with your own beer can among other things?

You were flat broke cause she took all the money so you had a good friend that sustained you?  But that good friend wanted you to go to his church.

You were or maybe still are involved with online dating sites....and HAVE been approached by a few ladies....actually you were *seeing* one of these ladies right?  In what ....hmmm, February?

Yet now your wife and children are back....you claim that you'd NEVER leave the marriage....blah blah blah about the vows you took.

I could pull your comment about you not wanting your wife back Coach it's ALL there from every board you've been on to read.

Gimme a break,

I've no doubt that you have problems with your kids....but I see how you are CONSTANTLY shifting the blame onto you wife and not taking any ownership of your own.  Like Amy said it's just one excuse after another with you.

Oh and I DID read that part about the police talking to your children....ummm?  Was CPS called in?  Or was it due to the fact that you are a wanted fella in Michigan Coach....driving without insurance is a big no no, especially for a father of three boys.

Oh and LOL EVERY darned woman you've been with seems to have abused you in one way or another...I seriously think it's time to acknowledge your ownership in this, cuz ya can't change what you don't acknowledge right?

You spank because you are lazy and frustrated and got *tipsy* at your own wedding....and all that is very very cool!  Cuz you weren't drunk, just had a few both you and your bride....good grief.

This IS exactly why spanking should be illegal.

Well I read it and am not surprised your children are out of control.

Seriously as of what Dec of last year your wife left you?  Took the kids and hightailed it with her *older man* boss from FLA to Michigan.

She allowed your eldest only to call your dad so that he'd send Christmas gifts.  You were out of work at the time correct?  She weighed 120 lb's and battered you with your own beer can among other things?

You were flat broke cause she took all the money so you had a good friend that sustained you?  But that good friend wanted you to go to his church.

You were or maybe still are involved with online dating sites....and HAVE been approached by a few ladies....actually you were *seeing* one of these ladies right?  In what ....hmmm, February?

Yet now your wife and children are back....you claim that you'd NEVER leave the marriage....blah blah blah about the vows you took.

I could pull your comment about you not wanting your wife back Coach it's ALL there from every board you've been on to read.

Gimme a break,

I've no doubt that you have problems with your kids....but I see how you are CONSTANTLY shifting the blame onto you wife and not taking any ownership of your own.  Like Amy said it's just one excuse after another with you.

Oh and I DID read that part about the police talking to your children....ummm?  Was CPS called in?  Or was it due to the fact that you are a wanted fella in Michigan Coach....driving without insurance is a big no no, especially for a father of three boys.

Oh and LOL EVERY darned woman you've been with seems to have abused you in one way or another...I seriously think it's time to acknowledge your ownership in this, cuz ya can't change what you don't acknowledge right?

You spank because you are lazy and frustrated and got *tipsy* at your own wedding....and all that is very very cool!  Cuz you weren't drunk, just had a few both you and your bride....good grief.

This IS exactly why spanking should be illegal.

Great post Pen,

Especially about the kids deserving of a calm and stable homestead.    =)

Oh and I only reiterated the good Doc's infamous quote....a very very wise one tho.

<3

Fredi