Topic : Things That Worked For Us

This child is 6 years old and she is ruling the home basically? The next time you tell her to clean the room, set the timer for a certain a mount of time and tell her that when the timer goes off and what ever is not put away, you are going to pack it up in a trash bag, a box, whatever and then leave it at that. When the timer goes off, get your bag and start bagging it up! do not make compromises and do not give in, when you go in, remind her that you are the parent and she is the child and she is to abide by the rules and when she starts listening and doing as sheis suppose to then she can earn things back. Be consistent and do this on a daily basis and see what happens by the end of a week or so, she will test you are first but with consistency and following through, she may just get it. You need to sit her bottom down and discuss the rules with her as well as consequences, she may only be 6 but she can learn these things if you as the parents stick with it and you and your husband has to be on the same page and not allow her to play you against each other............................Remember, we teach people how to treat us and your child is learningt hat she is aloud to disrespect you and she will get worse if you do not kick it in the bud now.................You can also tell her no when she asks for something, make sure her needs are met and all but when she has a want, tell her no,a nd remind her that since she tells you no and will not listen to you, yuo are no longer going to give her anything that she wants, eventually she will catch on, I have done this with my 5 year old and she very rarely tells me no becasue she knows that I will not hesitate to do the same thing to her..............As far as the school goes, you need to be in good communication with them and tell them to document everything and when you get your daughter home, explian to her that those behaviours are unacceptable and because she doesn't feel that she has to listen to the rules, she gets a privelege taken away and then do it and do the same thing with the rules at home, my children ages 3 and 5 lost their play time with their friend next door last week because they didn't want to help with their chores, when the little girl came over to play, I sent her home and told her that the girls were not listening therfore they were not aloud to play, yep, they cried and fussed and they got their job done but too late, they didn't lost this battle but this week has been a whiz for especially my 5 year old remembers that day and she has reminded her little sister of the rule, it wirks of you are consistent and stick with it, you ar ethe parent and you cannot give in.

This in regards to my son being molested. The D.A. here in Lake County has dropped my son's case due to lack of evidence and the time when my son told me about the incident. I even went as far as going to California's Congressman Mike Thompson. There is nothing they could do I even went to the local newspaper and they would not do anything about informing the community of the sexual pedophile. They said it was because of a liability. What can I do now to get closure? Please help  

Thank again for you help you have given me so far. 

Jennifer 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE TO MY PROBLEM! I WILL TRY ALL THE TIPS YOU GAVE ME AND REPORT BACK. DO YOU THINK THAT I SOMEWHERE WENT WRONG WITH MY DAUGHTER? I AM SO WORRIED THAT I FAILED AS A MOM! SINCE SHE IS OUR ONLY , SO FAR, I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS IS A NORMAL STAGE IN HER LIFE. I ONLY WANT TO GIVE HER THE BEST MANNERS AND TEACH HER THE BEST WAY TO RESPECT PEOPLE, I HOPE THAT I HAVEN`T MESSED UP. I DON`T KNOW HOW THINGS CHANGED SO FAST BEFORE MY EYES. I WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT BEING A GOOD MOTHER. THIS WEEKEND WE DID SIT HER DOWN AND EXPLAINED THAT THERE ARE GOING TO BE NEW RULES AND NEW PUNISHMENTS IF THESE RULES ARE NOT FOLLOWED. SHE ACTUALLY WENT IN HER ROOM AND CLEANED UP!!! THAT`S PROGRESS BIG TIME FOR US! I WILL DEFINITELY DO THE BAG SUGGESTION AND WILL STICK WITH IT . MY HUSBAND REALLY WANTS THINGS TO CHANGE SO WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE NOW. WE WANT THE BEST FOR MARISSA IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE! THANKS AGAIN AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE. BY THE WAY, I HEARD HER SAY TO HER FRIEND THAT CAME OVER, "MY MOM IS GOING TO GET MAD IF WE DO NOT CLEAN OUR MESS UP!" I THINK I SEE A LIGHT IN MY TUNNEL! THANKS AGAIN!

I haven't read too much here lately but I do understand what you are going through to a certain extent as it was me who was the abused child thankfully not my children. It is true that the more you dwell on this and let it get to you, the abuser wins. But taking the steps to healing your son as well as your self is very imporant, it might be a hard road to travel but the good thing is that your son has you and that you can help him through this all. I didn't get help unti I was in my 20's and talk about hard, it certainly was a rough path but I can say and confirm the fact that my abuser (s) have absolutely nothing on me, I live a very happy and fullfilling life and those people who hurt me, well, they are miserable beings today, sad for them but the thing of it is, they have chosen their path in life as well as I have, and though I believe in praying for people as well as forgiveness as I have done these things which was hard at first, but it is a great feeling to know that life is good and no matter what others do to try to ruin our lives, they cannot achieve it unless we allow them to. keep a good positive attitude and continue to be there with your son and know that in the end, you and your son will be the one to come out on top. :)

I have a little girl who will be 3 in June, and she is just more then we can handle.  She goes nonstop and won't listen to a word we say.  I should say that she is the middle child, but has been like this since she could walk.  We have tried time out and she sits there singing to herself untill we come let her up.  We have tried sending her to sit on her bed because time out isn't working, we have tried taking away her favorite toys for the rest of the day.  Nothing seems to work with her.  She apologizes for what she has done after her punishment, but seems more like she is doing it because she has to then because she is really sorry.  She is very energetic and sweet, untill about 4 or 5 at night and then is just a total terror.  By bedtime, I am totally on edge and have no energy for my husband.  I really need some advice on what to do to deal with her.  I hate yelling and I do it way more then I would like to admit, I am trying to work on it, but it is so hard when you are getting ignored by a 3 year old.    

   

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am at the end of my rope.  

   

TIA  

Tracy  

How much sleep is she getting?  I know that when my kids were at that age, when they didn't get enough sleep, they turned into hellish terrors around dinnertime because they were on overdrive if they lacked in sleep.  This typically occurred when they missed their naps.  My kids needed naptime around 1 p.m. everyday to not exceed 3 p.m. at that age and gradually changing it to quiet time as they got older.  When they got the sleep they needed, they were MUCH more cooperative.  They also went to bed by 7 p.m. at that age as we got up by 6 a.m.   Hope this helps!