Topic : Things That Worked For Us

Have you had meetings with your daughter’s teacher regarding her behavior? Her teacher should have some constructive advice for you; if the teacher does not have advice, then contact your child’s school psychologist if the district has one. Simply let him/her know your child’s pattern of behavior and that you are seeking advice on how to help her become a better behaved child at school, so that she can get the fullest benefits out of her learning experience.

I don’t have any idea at what age professionals can diagnose ADD/ADHD, but my advice is to ask your child’s teacher if she sees any of the symptoms in your daughter.

In my personal experience, my school system wasn’t particularly helpful; although I have heard of many other people who have had very positive experiences with their school systems. My daughter was very artistic and creative, but, she couldn’t concentrate on much because she was very distractible. Her teachers just passed her every year anyway, labeling her ‘creative.’ When she got to middle school is when the you know what hit the fan! By this point, I felt distrustful of the school system, so I contacted an independent psychologist, made an appt., and began the process of having my daughter tested. The psychologist told me that because girls oftentimes do not have the ’hyperactivity’ component of ADHD, they slip through the cracks and don’t get diagnosed or treated. This is exactly what happened to my child. My biggest regret was that I didn’t do this (the testing) years earlier- my daughter suffered the loss of self esteem because she had low grades for so long. It has now been 2 years, and my daughter has never been happier in school. She is now in the 10th grade, she is on the honor roll, and she is making plans for college. I urge you to ask your child’s school for testing or to obtain testing for her outside of school.

There are many people who are against having children tested, for a variety of reasons, but in my personal opinion, when our kids are happy and well adjusted, we are doing our jobs as parents.

hello

I need help BAD

my son who is going to be 6 in march is turning into a terror.

he will some times listen to me & others times he gets very mean & mouthy.

thank goodness he doesn't swear ( yet ) 

 me & my husband fight over this Issue a lot & I know I am at fault .

when ever my husband tells one of our kids to do something they do it but with me they push. Megan is now 8 & is much better but matthew is getting very mean & he even has started hitting me & kicking me he will get mad & start yelling "your not the boss of me I hate you"

the other day at school he was throwing snow at me & I asked him to  stop, when he did not I took him by the hand & told him we were taking a walk to have a talk ( I did not want to make a big sene in front of the other mothers )  so I took him away & told him I did not like what he was doing & he would loose the computer If he did not stop  well guess what he didn't stop.

when we got home he started up aging & had to drag him to his room & told him to sit on his bed until I came up to talk to him

he would not stay in his room & he was yelling at me he has never been this bad befor & I can Imagen what he will be likeat 13 if I do not get a handel on this now

I have been a stay at home mom for most of my kids lives which would be about 8 years

I went back to work part time last January to be around other adults & make some extra $$ for the house.

  he really is a sweet boy who tells me every night that he loves me & wants to marrie me when he gets bigger but than this bad side comes out & I am not authiritative enought to get him under controll please help me & my son

it is a fight for everything now, time out ,getting him to sit on his bed I am at my witz end please help me

thanks for listen

Kathy

Firstly, you did the right thing by taking your son away from other people to talk to him, giving him that option to behave or to have something he values taken away from him. When you tell him that you are taking something away, be specific about the amount of time, and be sure that it is reasonable so that you can follow through without you being the one who suffers more than him! Since he won’t sit on his bed, find an alternative place. Have you considered a corner near where you are in the home? You must be consistent and remain as calm as possible with your son. If he can see that he is ‘getting’ to you, then he gets a ‘pay off’ for his naughty behavior; that will make him feel that he has power over your emotions- and you don’t want him to have that power. (or to even think that he has that power) Everything that you do now is going to help him in the long run.

I have tried time outs on a chair this used to work  now he just gets up & I have to put him back on the chair I can only do this sort of thing a few times

If I tried a corner he would just get out of it do you see where we are going?

i need him to stay put like he would do for his dad

he would never pull this type of crap with him I know it is my fault for being so whisy washy in the past & now it has come to bite me in the butt

thanks for youtr  help

I did try this chart where you had 20 points & you had to stay at that number of your would loose something

they had to earn the points back by being nice or helping around the house so on & so forth depending on what it was that they did depended on the number of points you got

like if they were good for the whole day with out me having to speak to them they could get as much as 7 points same for being bad one day I took all of his points away because he was so unruly

I think 20 points was the goal & if you only had 10 you could choose the computer or the cameboy 10 points each if you got all 20 they could do both but this too has worn off

Hi

I was wondering if I could get some feedback on our situation.  My little boy is 7.  He is a very delightful little thing when he wants to be.  However, I have been having problems with him listening and being rude and nasty to me.  My husband is a truck driver and not home a lot.  I am a stay at home mom - and have been since he was born.  I also have a 3 year old daughter - who seems to be learning quickly from her brother! 

The problem is his attitude toward me.  I ask him to do something and he rolls his eyes or say, "Oh My God!"  like I am asking him to do some horrible task!  It's just things like pick up your room, hang up your coat, gather the trash for trash nite etc.  He seems to have no regard for me as an authority figure.  I have taken away the playstation, the TV, and have put him to bed early.  He takes the consequences - after some carrying on - and then does the punishment- but that doesn't change his behavior!  He continues to still be rude and nasty. 

He has had classroom parties, book readings etc., and I have been hesitant to go - because of his rudeness and disrespectful ways toward me.  Then he gets angry and says I don't want to spend time with him.  I tell him that he isn't very nice to me in those situations so I don't really want to go.  Am I giving him too much information?  Fuel for his fire?  I don't know. 

We had a church celebration last weekend for Christmas and the kids in his age group sung songs.  (Just 2 - that he didn't really know that well- which was our fault because we weren't at church the weekend they practiced) but I tried to practice it with him at home before the Sunday he was to do it.  He wasn't interested or concerned, rolling his eyes about it so I thought I'll let it go.  When he was up on stage mouthing the words, I thought he looked so DARN CUTE!  I was smiling and waving - not obnoxiously or anything.  Actually very subdued - I thought.  I was not making a spectacle of myself or him.  Well you would've thought that I was standing on the chair screaming his name the way he looked at me and mouthed for me to stop looking at him!  I was kind of sad about it.  I didn't see any other kids telling their moms to stop looking at them!  Half the moms were up in front filming or taking pictures.  Glad I didn't do that!  He may have walked off stage!  Is it his age or what? 

It seems that no matter how sweet, how caring, or calm I try to be with him he always has a complaint.  doesn't like dinner, doesnt want to go to practice, doesnt want to do homework before playing, - it goes on and on.  I don't know how to handle it.  I say to him - "we are not going down that road.  This is the way it is.  You need to stop your complaining now.  Rules are rules -

and my favorite - "choose the behavior - choose the consequence"  Am I not taking away enough or for long enough?  I know I need to pick my battles - but it seems that he is ALWAYS finding something to complain or be rude and disrespectful about.  he does not have a tough life at all.  I think it is rather pleasant. 

Sorry for the rambling!  Thanks for any feedback you might have.

L