Topic : Things That Worked For Us

I SEEM TO BE LOSING CONTROL OF THE MOTHER DAUGHTER RESPECT FROM MY 13 VERY SOON TO BE 14 Y/O DAUGHTER.... SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL, TALL THIN PRETTY GIRL, I DONT WANT HER TO DRESS WITH SHORT SHORTS ON OR A BELLY SHIRT, I DONT LIKE HER TO WEAR THE MAKE UP I TRY TO TELL HER SHE DOESNT NEED IT, BUT OVER TIME I HAVE SHUFFLED HER AROUND TO MANY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES, AND I FEEL LIKE SHE IS NOW REBELLING FOR TIMES I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THERE, OR SHE FEELS I DONT LOVE HER.... SHE IS NOW STARTING TO RAISE HER VOICE THROW TGINGS IN THE HOUSE, AND STOP OFF. HER ATTITUDE STINKS.. VERY SNOOTY SNAPPY. SHE HAS A 6 Y/O SISTER, WHO I DONT WANT TO PICK UP THESE AWFUL TRAITS. IM NOT SURE HOW TO HANDLE THIS, AS ANY STORY THERE IS MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THIS, BUT JUST TO GET A HANDLE ON THE ATTITUDE, OR THE GLARING LOOKS THAT BURN A HOLE THROUGH YOU......HELP ME START A GREAT FUTURE WITH MY CHILDREN, NOT AN EASY END.....

How about a day of TURNABOUT...

Where you turn into him for the day?  Start when he asks you for something.  Pitch a hissy and stomp around.  Drudge up all that old negative behavior and hold it AGAINST HIM! 

Spend the day stomping around, and being a royal pain.

Then when you think he's gotten the message -- explain to him that THAT is how people see him, that it is completely unacceptable and you wanted to give him a hefty dose of his OWN behavior so he can see how it feels to be on the receiving end.

I've done this once or twice with my kids and they got the picture.

Sometimes I have let my kids get away with having an attitude up to a point but there IS a line that I DO NOT let them cross.  I MAINTAIN that line.  It's why I am the parent/teacher/guider.  For us, yelling or any other kind of really disrespectful is simply not allowed or tolerated.  When they used to cross that line they got some very eye-opeing consequences.

Hope that helps.  Q

 I am a mother of an 8 year old son. Over the past year a lot has happened. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and over the past year I have gone through chemo, a double mastectomy and radiation. I am now in remission, which is great. My son was very good while I was sick but has done a complete turnaround with his behavior. He simply does not listen and has no respect for anyone. He is also lying and having full blown tantrums where he's throwing things, yelling and crying. I honestly am very frustrated and out of ideas on how to change this behavior. I have a very difficult time disciplining him because of the guilt I feel for getting sick and putting him through everything like moving and going to a new school. There have also been a lot of other changes. I love my son very much and want to be the best mom I can be, but I think I have lost control of my son and I hope that there is a way to get my control back and help him to make good choices.

Well for starters my husband and I both think that there is someting medical goin on.....a few weeks ago he looked himself in the trunk of my car on a really hot day and was crying to get out thankfully i was right there and got him out but it could have suffocated him....the other is we were driving down the street  and i heard the door sounder goin off which mean the door is opened he was out of his 4 point harness car seat and hanging off the door handle as we were turning a corner of a main drag i puuled over and firlmy told him how dangerous this was he laughed while he was doin it but puoted in his seat when he realized how upset i was .....he is contsantly sniffing or licking gas cans so we put them up as high as we could and he climbs anything and everything very quickly mind you to get what he wants.....he climbed in the oven with a can of soda ...these things are not normal things that anyone in our famiy does for him to imitate....he is very short tempered and when he gets mad be hits his head of things ......we have never had any problems like this with any of the other siblings ever ....he is the baby and just like our other kkids recives praise and lots of love as we have a big family....need more let me know i could go on forver

it does sound like something medical indeed. if so, i can't help you because i'm not a doctor, so just take him to a doctor. furthermore just secure anything. put children's locks on you kabinets, or make get a closet you can lock with a key, and put all the dangerous stuff in there, and make sure he can't get the key. most cars have childrens locks on the back doors that you can activate, i advise you to do that too. put a chain on the front and back door, or some other lock, somewhere high, so you can reach it, but he can't. the last thing may sound a bit strange, but try to find a closed area in you house, where you put him in a time out, preferably an empty area, and make the walls padded, for as high as he can reach with his head, and make sure the floor isn't to hard, put a carpet on it. that's all the advise i can give you. secure your house as much as you can for him. and discipline him in that special area if you can make one, when he sniffs at the gas cans, or does other things like that.

please let me know how it goes, and what came out of the doctors visit.

i hope all the best for you.