Topic : Things That Worked For Us

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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:51:05 pm
Author : dataimport
Has one method of discipline worked really well for you? Don't keep it a secret - share it with us!

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July 9, 2008, 4:05 pm PDT

ubnoxious 15 yr old Diva

My daughter needs some advice on how to handle her daughter of 15 going on 20. She just thinks the world revolves around her and only her, and disrupts the whole family, (one brother 14 and siter 10and brother 4). She gets pretty much everything she wants, and runs her mother into the ground. They don't do chores etc. She figures its too late to discipline, and is just giving up at the expense of her relationship. The father is a loser and isn't really a part of the picture. A single mom with 4 kids, and she is doing the best she can, and believe me, other than the discipline, she has done a great job of looking after these kids. So the question is, what do you do at this point? You can take all the treats away and she is still a mouthy bitch to everyone, and only talks nice when she wants something. The invites her friends in, which is ok, but raids the fridge, and takes over the kitchen and everywhere, and leaves a mess to boot, and more too, but no sense going into it, I think you get the picture.

So any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thank you from the Nan next door!

 
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July 15, 2008, 9:54 pm PDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: 2oceans

My daughter needs some advice on how to handle her daughter of 15 going on 20. She just thinks the world revolves around her and only her, and disrupts the whole family, (one brother 14 and siter 10and brother 4). She gets pretty much everything she wants, and runs her mother into the ground. They don't do chores etc. She figures its too late to discipline, and is just giving up at the expense of her relationship. The father is a loser and isn't really a part of the picture. A single mom with 4 kids, and she is doing the best she can, and believe me, other than the discipline, she has done a great job of looking after these kids. So the question is, what do you do at this point? You can take all the treats away and she is still a mouthy bitch to everyone, and only talks nice when she wants something. The invites her friends in, which is ok, but raids the fridge, and takes over the kitchen and everywhere, and leaves a mess to boot, and more too, but no sense going into it, I think you get the picture.

So any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thank you from the Nan next door!

I would suggest a huge dose of empathy is what this girl needs. She needs to learn how others feel. She needs to see that there are people in the world who don't have it so well. I would suggest making her do things like, help at a soup kitchen or a food bank.  Doing yard work for an elderly person in the neighborhood who cannot do it for themselves. Visiting an old folks home.

However, if the mom isn't dedicated to do these kinds of things it's moot.

She needs to also learn to pick up her own messes. If she leaves something on the floor it gets taken away...seriously until all that she has left is a bed, a blanket and one set of clothes. If her friends leave a mess she should no longer be aloud to have friends over.

This is going to be a hard mess to untangle....and if the mother isn't invested it won't matter at all.
 
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July 18, 2008, 7:37 pm PDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: 2oceans

My daughter needs some advice on how to handle her daughter of 15 going on 20. She just thinks the world revolves around her and only her, and disrupts the whole family, (one brother 14 and siter 10and brother 4). She gets pretty much everything she wants, and runs her mother into the ground. They don't do chores etc. She figures its too late to discipline, and is just giving up at the expense of her relationship. The father is a loser and isn't really a part of the picture. A single mom with 4 kids, and she is doing the best she can, and believe me, other than the discipline, she has done a great job of looking after these kids. So the question is, what do you do at this point? You can take all the treats away and she is still a mouthy bitch to everyone, and only talks nice when she wants something. The invites her friends in, which is ok, but raids the fridge, and takes over the kitchen and everywhere, and leaves a mess to boot, and more too, but no sense going into it, I think you get the picture.

So any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thank you from the Nan next door!

I would suggest going to the loveandlogic.com and getting the book From Innocence to Entitlement. I have not read this book yet but i have read many other books from love and logic and it has made a huge diffrence in our family.  hope this will help.
 
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July 29, 2008, 1:19 pm PDT

help please

I have a son who is 5 years old he is so wide open it is crazy. He goes 90 miles an hour and i cant keep up with him, i have tried takin his game takin toys sittin on the couch in the corner and then spankin him nothing works i am goin crazy please tell me what else should i do!!!!

 
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August 1, 2008, 4:59 pm PDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: jepordy

I have a son who is 5 years old he is so wide open it is crazy. He goes 90 miles an hour and i cant keep up with him, i have tried takin his game takin toys sittin on the couch in the corner and then spankin him nothing works i am goin crazy please tell me what else should i do!!!!

My biggest suggestion is going to loveandlogic.com. they have a book for every problem. You can also check out your library for books on love and logic. I would suggest the book, Oh great what do I do now  or anything love and logic for preschool that is a good place to start to get the basics.  this system has changed our family drastically good luck
 
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frustrated
September 15, 2008, 5:42 am PDT

Any Ideas would be sooo appreciated

I am a mother of five children. I am married but my husband works long hours so for a lot of the time I'm  a single mother. When their fathers tells them to do something they don't hesitate to get it done. But when I tell them to do something it's as though it's a suggestion. I'm not a spanker. I don't believe in physical violence punishments for children. However I don't judge parents who do spank. Is there anyone out there going through the same thing. Or maybe you have been through the same thing and have already overcame it and know what to do. Any ideas would be sooooo appreciated. Thanks!
 
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September 17, 2008, 10:55 am PDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: ladygenesis

I am a mother of five children. I am married but my husband works long hours so for a lot of the time I'm  a single mother. When their fathers tells them to do something they don't hesitate to get it done. But when I tell them to do something it's as though it's a suggestion. I'm not a spanker. I don't believe in physical violence punishments for children. However I don't judge parents who do spank. Is there anyone out there going through the same thing. Or maybe you have been through the same thing and have already overcame it and know what to do. Any ideas would be sooooo appreciated. Thanks!
If your child refuses to do something when you ask them tell them you thats ok you will discuss it later. then later when they want you to make them dinner you say "Bummer, I only make dinner for those who have done what I ask them to do. " or when they want to go somewhere "Bummer I only take kids places when they do what I ask them to do." Really this works I was in your situation where my husband wasnt home ever it seemed, then I started looking at Love and Logic and it changed our whole life. Go to loveandlogic.com they have helpful hints and lists of book to help with every situation. you can also check your library to see if they have the books. let me know how this works. By the way dont remind and don't nag them to do it. that takes pressure off of you and your not getting mad.  good luck
 
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September 17, 2008, 10:56 am PDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: ladygenesis

I am a mother of five children. I am married but my husband works long hours so for a lot of the time I'm  a single mother. When their fathers tells them to do something they don't hesitate to get it done. But when I tell them to do something it's as though it's a suggestion. I'm not a spanker. I don't believe in physical violence punishments for children. However I don't judge parents who do spank. Is there anyone out there going through the same thing. Or maybe you have been through the same thing and have already overcame it and know what to do. Any ideas would be sooooo appreciated. Thanks!
 

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