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Topic : Things That Worked For Us

Number of Replies: 232
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:51:05 pm
Author : dataimport
Has one method of discipline worked really well for you? Don't keep it a secret - share it with us!

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October 26, 2005, 11:41 am CDT

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: viixen

am new to this board and hope I can find some help. I always thought I was great with discipline, most of my friends even take my advice, but on this time I need the advice.
My daughter is 7 years old, she knows that when your being bullied to ignore and walk away.For the last 2 and half years she has had to deal with a little boy that drives her nuts. I used to babysit his so she really had a hard time of it till I told his mom no more because this kid never listens and is completely disrespectful. THis kid has hit my children, and once with a stick to the face, clawed her face, kicked, spit on her and so forth, just a generaly problem and constant teasing. Mind you not trying to say he is the beast and mine is the angel. The problem came to head yesterday after school. When they where waiting for their ride (in an unapproved area due to nosupervision, this kids moms idea not mine)the child in question started teasing my daughter and tossed her back pack up into a tree. According to her she was just pissed and had so she grabbed him by the shirt and told him to get it down. He got mad and grabbed her back. She said he grabbed her chest thro her tee-shirt so she kicked him in the leg. Well to sum it up it was an all out brawl. THe school officials pulled them apart, the mother got in trouble for having them wait there, but my daughter is not in trouble, no citician or anything and his mom wants to know what I want to do for punishment. She told me her son was grounded, but because we live very close to each other I knew this was lie I could here him playing with his friends.
THis is bad because part of me is proud she kicked this boys butt, but I also can not let her know that this is okay. Any advice. 

I don't know if  I really have advice on this matter. but i can tell you that I think that your daughter did the right thing. You can't let people run over you no matter what. You have to stand up for yourself. It is truly a shame that kids have to put up with bullies....which is what he sounds like he is. I don't think that she should be punshied for standing up for herself. The little boy on the other hand should learn to respect people..especially girls. I don't know if this helps you or not but your story touched me and I wanted to respond to it. Good Luck !
 
November 1, 2005, 10:31 am CST

What worked for us

 We used to make our kids write sentences when they got into trouble. But it didn't seem to help just alot of  "you are going to write them" and then them saying " no I am not". We have decided that we are going to take things away from them. The computer, xbox, game cube, TV and mostly the phone. It has seem to help a little, but like every parent knows not anything works 100%. 

  

Have a nice day 

 
November 1, 2005, 5:08 pm CST

Frustrated

I'm new to this board so bear with me.  I have a gson that is 8 yrs. old.  He thinks he should be able to do what ever he wants. He is very smart but this year in school he can't seem to focus.  He fights with his mom and dad everyday and night.  They have taken away all of his things in his room except his bed ,dresser, desk. He is told he will have to be good and earn things back.  It has been two mths and he doesn't even care.  He back talks his mother and they will fight most of the night.  My poor  daughter is at her witts end.  THe doctor just tells her to put him in time out and spank him when he gets out of his chair.  When he is with other people including myself I don't have alot of the same issues.  I do get on him and make sure he does what he is told but that doesn;t always work either.  He can be a great boy when he wants to.  But everyday he creates the mood for the whole family for the whole day and night.  My little gson whom is 6 doesn't have any of his bothers issues.  Does anyone have any suggestions.  My daughter has tried them all.   

 

Frustrated and needing advice. 

 
November 3, 2005, 4:22 pm CST

Out of control 3 year old... Im so fed up!

I have a 3 year old little boy and a 1 year old little boy and my 3 year old is always in trouble! We really dont know what to do with him sometimes. He hits, talks back, doesn't listin, doesn't do what he's told, wont sleep by himself, and yells. Were really fed up. What would you do for a child like this?
 
November 6, 2005, 3:50 pm CST

10 year old that lies

My 10 year old grandson lies about most things. He's a sweet heart but how does my daught get him not to lie? 

Worried nana 

 
November 6, 2005, 3:53 pm CST

supper nanny

Quote From: tiffdawn21

I have a 3 year old little boy and a 1 year old little boy and my 3 year old is always in trouble! We really dont know what to do with him sometimes. He hits, talks back, doesn't listin, doesn't do what he's told, wont sleep by himself, and yells. Were really fed up. What would you do for a child like this?

she has some good ideas on your problem. Watch supper nanny . I saw a show where the parents had probems with bed times,temper, hitting ,yelling and she really has some good ideas. 

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 
November 8, 2005, 12:28 pm CST

Desperate

I am a single mother with 2 kids ages 9 & 10. ( No dad in the picture)My 10 yr old has been diagnosed as adhd and o.d.d. My problem is that I have tried several different meds. And nothing seems to be helping. He is very aggressive towards his sister, and has recently become aggressive towards me. Including kicking, hitting, biting, and cursing. These are not things that usually go on in my family. He has not been exposed to these things at home. And were we live there are not neighborhood kids that he is picking it up from. I have physically restrained him when he becomes physical with me or his sister until he wears himself out or calms down. I can not afford  outside counseling and the ones I have seen through his insurance change so quickly that we never seem to get anywhere with them.  I have taken him to the juvenile detention center and they gave him a tour and a police officer talked with my son. That seemed to help for a little while but now it has started again  Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do . I refuse to give up on My son!!!!!!!! 

 
November 8, 2005, 3:08 pm CST

Sibling Rivalry

My two sons, ages 10 & 8, constantly fight with each other.  They antagonize each other all the time.  As they walk to and from school, they swing their backpacks at each other, knock each other to the ground, and tackle each other.  Other passersby have stopped and told them to stop doing it to each other.  I'm not always available to watch them go to and from school, so most often I don't know it is happening.  I want it to stop!  My husband and I have had three big conversations with them so far this school year and told them to stop it, keep their hands to themselves, and walk on opposite sides of the street if they have to!  But it still continues!  How can I stop this ridiculous behavior?  They act this way in stores as well, so I usually don't take them shopping with me.  If I take only one of them, they are perfectly good.  But once they are together, all hell breaks loose!  HELP!
 
November 9, 2005, 9:18 am CST

Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: jamrod

Hi. Personally, and I know it is hard...but I think I would try to just start bragging like crazy on what she is doing right(not saying you don't, because I don't know), but I think that right now she might be getting too much negative attention. I am saying this to help, not to hurt. Sometimes children continue to show negative behaviour because there is so much negative being shown. If she is getting in trouble at school and then is also getting it when she comes home too...might be a bit much for a four year old to take. Honestly, I would probably show concern when she didn't get a sticker and ask her what she can do tomorrow to do better. Then I would simply say, well, I love you and I know you are a fine little person...then just start bragging like crazy on all of her take home papers. Say,...wow...You have really improved on staying in the lines, this is great. You know, let her know it concerns you, but basically leave that between her and her teacher. Honestly, that is what I did with both of my children. I have a 13 year old daughter and a 7 year old son, and I learned early on that too many no's aren't very good for our children. Remember what Dr.Phil says...It takes 100 atta girls to make up one.. you aren't good enough. I truly believe that when you change "your" behavior that you will start to see a much needed and welcomed change in her.  

 

ADD is of course always a possibility when children don't mind, but I think sometimes these things can  be changed by simply making small changes in ourselves. Please know I am not blaming you, but am simply telling you what worked for me. Good luck to you.  

 

jamrod(Jeannie) 

I had the same problem with my son when he started school. I stressed and punished him for misbehavior. He knew when he got in trouble at school he was in trouble at home. Until I talked to my Dad....This is what he had to say....My son was being punished at school for misbehaviors missing recess, no stickers, no end of week privileges. Then he was coming home and getting in even more trouble....he was being punished twice for the same crime.  We don't do this to adults. so why do we do it to our children. Don't get me wrong I still talked to him about correct behavior and what he should do differently. But I quit taking away privileges at home...he had already done his time at school. I also focused more on the good days he was having..than on the bad. And he began to have more good days. 

  

  

 
November 12, 2005, 10:40 am CST

Fight Fight Fight!!!

I am new to this and am hoping to have someone tell me what I should do with my 2 sons who continue to nag and tease each other. I am out of options....I take things away...and yet it just won't stop! My 7 year old seems to just keep bugging the crap out of his 5 year old brother so much that he has been retaliating with punches and throwing things at him. This makes the older brother laugh ,and that just makes the little one even more angry. It continues over and over. Any advise? I have had it ! I just don't know what to do with them any more. 

  

 
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