Topic : Things That Worked For Us

I'm sorry, but a cold shower will NOT make a child want to go to bed.  The idea is to calm her.  A warm bath and a story.  Start about an hour before bedtime.  Make this HER time with you...spend the hour with pleasant activities.  Let her sit with you on the couch, cuddling her.  Slowly wind her down.  Have her help put away her toys for the night before the rest of the routine starts.  If she feels too rushed at bedtime, she will be less cooperative.  She just wants attention...give it to her BEFORE the tantrum, and you can prevent the tantrum all together.

This worked with our kids.  Our 9 year old still likes to cuddle at bedtime.  Our first child was a learning experience.  By the time we got to the third one, we had the routine down pat.  When the routine is disturbed, it is harder to get a young child to conform to the rules.  Don't schedule any evening activities outside the home.

Make sure that you are getting your child to bed at a reasonable time...around 8 PM for a 3 year old.  Start at 7 PM...just work this into your schedule...after she is in bed, you can do the things that you need to do.

Are you a stay-at-home mom, or do you work outside the home, with your daughter in daycare?

With dad absent, it puts all of the pressure on you.  Getting your daughter calmly to bed at a reasonable time makes the rest of your evening much more enjoyable...you need to take care of yourself in order to be able to deal with a 3 year old.

I realize that I am talking with the person replying to the one with the 3 year old...this advice is aimed at the mom of the 3 year old.

Keep the bedtime routine positive...the calming approach works a lot better than punishment at bedtime.  The goal is to calm the child and help her change gears from playtime to bedtime.  Keeping the same routine every night is important...schedule the bedtime hour just for your daughter...let the answering machine get the phone if it rings.

I hope my suggestions have been helpful...I wrote a longer post previously with lots of advice on dealing with a 3 year old...it is important to realize that she is 3, not 12, so expect her to act like a 3 year old...keep commands simple and clear.

Becky

Hi.  I would like to just say...PLEASE do not listen to that crazy & abusive woman about the shower.  And if any Pediatrician or Dr. of any kind would advocate this, I would think twice about them.  That is the most ridiculous thing.  It's not ok to do that.  NOWAY!!!!!  Please just remember; she is only 3 and you can change her behavior in a more productive ways.  Like someone else said, try to estalish a routine: Bath, cuddling, story, hugs n kisses then lights out.  If she is uncooperative in the beginning...just remember this will be new to her and she will need to adjust.  Be patient and tell her, firmly, "it is bedtime, goodnight and mommy loves you."   If she gets up, you calmly take her back.  Again and again until she realizes you mean business.  It should only take under a week for her to embrace the routine.  Do not let her bully you or manipulate you.  Stick to your guns and be loving and firm.  Keep a routine her whole life.  Children need that very much.   It gives them some sense of stability.

I am a mother of 3 and I promise you these things work.  NOT cold showers.   If you need to talk more, feel free to email me.  (on my profile).  Good luck.

Angela

I am watching  Dr Phil's Brat Camp today and here is what I did when my boys got

out of controle after the father passed away,

They were 12 and 14 years old,    I sent them to boot camp for 6 weeks,

after that they went to Military school

that is what should be done to those two boys  that are on the show today.

I SEEM TO BE LOSING CONTROL OF THE MOTHER DAUGHTER RESPECT FROM MY 13 VERY SOON TO BE 14 Y/O DAUGHTER.... SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL, TALL THIN PRETTY GIRL, I DONT WANT HER TO DRESS WITH SHORT SHORTS ON OR A BELLY SHIRT, I DONT LIKE HER TO WEAR THE MAKE UP I TRY TO TELL HER SHE DOESNT NEED IT, BUT OVER TIME I HAVE SHUFFLED HER AROUND TO MANY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES, AND I FEEL LIKE SHE IS NOW REBELLING FOR TIMES I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THERE, OR SHE FEELS I DONT LOVE HER.... SHE IS NOW STARTING TO RAISE HER VOICE THROW TGINGS IN THE HOUSE, AND STOP OFF. HER ATTITUDE STINKS.. VERY SNOOTY SNAPPY. SHE HAS A 6 Y/O SISTER, WHO I DONT WANT TO PICK UP THESE AWFUL TRAITS. IM NOT SURE HOW TO HANDLE THIS, AS ANY STORY THERE IS MUCH MORE TO IT THAN THIS, BUT JUST TO GET A HANDLE ON THE ATTITUDE, OR THE GLARING LOOKS THAT BURN A HOLE THROUGH YOU......HELP ME START A GREAT FUTURE WITH MY CHILDREN, NOT AN EASY END.....