Topic : Things That Worked For Us

Quote From: faithadelle

Hey There

 

sorry i haven't replied lately. I forgot to check the boards. Anyways with the cold shower its like the time out, you give ONE and ONLY ONE warning and then you take her straight to the shower, put her in * fully clothed is most effective* and turn it on, you only turn it off when she agrees to behave. This should only take like 10 seconds.. unless shes immune to cold. But yeah it should work.

 

you can e-mail me at star_magic80@hotmail.com if you need anything else.

 

Love,

 

sabrina

Quote From: faithadelle

Hey There

 

sorry i haven't replied lately. I forgot to check the boards. Anyways with the cold shower its like the time out, you give ONE and ONLY ONE warning and then you take her straight to the shower, put her in * fully clothed is most effective* and turn it on, you only turn it off when she agrees to behave. This should only take like 10 seconds.. unless shes immune to cold. But yeah it should work.

 

you can e-mail me at star_magic80@hotmail.com if you need anything else.

 

Love,

 

sabrina

Quote From: faithadelle

Hey There

 

sorry i haven't replied lately. I forgot to check the boards. Anyways with the cold shower its like the time out, you give ONE and ONLY ONE warning and then you take her straight to the shower, put her in * fully clothed is most effective* and turn it on, you only turn it off when she agrees to behave. This should only take like 10 seconds.. unless shes immune to cold. But yeah it should work.

 

you can e-mail me at star_magic80@hotmail.com if you need anything else.

 

Love,

 

sabrina

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I'm sorry, but a cold shower will NOT make a child want to go to bed.  The idea is to calm her.  A warm bath and a story.  Start about an hour before bedtime.  Make this HER time with you...spend the hour with pleasant activities.  Let her sit with you on the couch, cuddling her.  Slowly wind her down.  Have her help put away her toys for the night before the rest of the routine starts.  If she feels too rushed at bedtime, she will be less cooperative.  She just wants attention...give it to her BEFORE the tantrum, and you can prevent the tantrum all together.

 

This worked with our kids.  Our 9 year old still likes to cuddle at bedtime.  Our first child was a learning experience.  By the time we got to the third one, we had the routine down pat.  When the routine is disturbed, it is harder to get a young child to conform to the rules.  Don't schedule any evening activities outside the home.

 

Make sure that you are getting your child to bed at a reasonable time...around 8 PM for a 3 year old.  Start at 7 PM...just work this into your schedule...after she is in bed, you can do the things that you need to do.

 

Are you a stay-at-home mom, or do you work outside the home, with your daughter in daycare?

 

With dad absent, it puts all of the pressure on you.  Getting your daughter calmly to bed at a reasonable time makes the rest of your evening much more enjoyable...you need to take care of yourself in order to be able to deal with a 3 year old.

 

I realize that I am talking with the person replying to the one with the 3 year old...this advice is aimed at the mom of the 3 year old.

 

Keep the bedtime routine positive...the calming approach works a lot better than punishment at bedtime.  The goal is to calm the child and help her change gears from playtime to bedtime.  Keeping the same routine every night is important...schedule the bedtime hour just for your daughter...let the answering machine get the phone if it rings.

 

I hope my suggestions have been helpful...I wrote a longer post previously with lots of advice on dealing with a 3 year old...it is important to realize that she is 3, not 12, so expect her to act like a 3 year old...keep commands simple and clear.

 

Becky

Quote From: ellybail25

Thank you very much for your reply,
The BIG reason why she is like this i know is my fault, since she was baby i could never let her cry and so on. Little later her dad went to IRAQ and i felt bad, cuz we are moving from place to place, she lost her FIRST BFF, so i let it slide. And now i cant take control.
We use to have time outs but when she got to my moms they never did it.
I did tried bed time like you said, but she will get hysterical.
And about cold shower? just put her straight to shower or something.
Once again, thank you so much

Quote From: angelaincleve

Hi.  I would like to just say...PLEASE do not listen to that crazy & abusive woman about the shower.  And if any Pediatrician or Dr. of any kind would advocate this, I would think twice about them.  That is the most ridiculous thing.  It's not ok to do that.  NOWAY!!!!!  Please just remember; she is only 3 and you can change her behavior in a more productive ways.  Like someone else said, try to estalish a routine: Bath, cuddling, story, hugs n kisses then lights out.  If she is uncooperative in the beginning...just remember this will be new to her and she will need to adjust.  Be patient and tell her, firmly, "it is bedtime, goodnight and mommy loves you."   If she gets up, you calmly take her back.  Again and again until she realizes you mean business.  It should only take under a week for her to embrace the routine.  Do not let her bully you or manipulate you.  Stick to your guns and be loving and firm.  Keep a routine her whole life.  Children need that very much.   It gives them some sense of stability.

 

I am a mother of 3 and I promise you these things work.  NOT cold showers.   If you need to talk more, feel free to email me.  (on my profile).  Good luck.

 

Angela

Quote From: samanthajones

Wow...throwing a 3 year old in a cold shower for punishment for not going to bed....that's child abuse.  I hope that woman is not doing it anymore.  I guarantee you that child develops a bed wetting problem or becomes extremely shy or something.

Quote From: samanthajones

Wow...throwing a 3 year old in a cold shower for punishment for not going to bed....that's child abuse. I hope that woman is not doing it anymore. I guarantee you that child develops a bed wetting problem or becomes extremely shy or something.

Quote From: charise820

to the woman she was replying too....I agree with her I did this with both  my boys and  it does work the hardest part is being the mom and sticking to it you can do it.   and please don't do the shower thing..that could shock her system.