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Topic : We Disagree On Punishment

Number of Replies: 185
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:51:36 pm
Author : dataimport
"My husband is a spanker, but I don't believe in hitting my child." "My son knows he can run to my wife when I've told him no." Does this sound familiar? Tell us your story.

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September 28, 2008, 7:42 pm CDT

We still disagree after 18 years HELP!

We've been together for twenty years I have a step son of twenty-three years and a daughter of eighteen years.  Both of them used to help around the house when they where kids but when teenage years got in the help around slowly degraded to nothing.  I'm dissabled and serving everyones with there friends.  Non of them will help for supper preparation or to set the table it's call me when it's ready! or to wash the dishes. Use the printer trow the paper on the floor..computer desk a mess every day. I have to even flush the toilet after my daughter HELLOOO never washed her shower in five years now she's using the basement shower because her's was too dirty, then when the basement shower was too dirty she started asking me to use mine I said NO! do your cleanup I've had enough! she still has'nt done it!  They don't pick up they're clothes for laundry they never do their laundry or put their clothes away.  Never sweep or pass the vaccum, never mowed the lawn or taken the garbaged out.  The good part in this is they both received a car to wich we're making the payments, plus cell phone.  they don't pay for anything they waste their money pay by pay.  My husband's phylosophie is they're good kids they're still in school so who cares if they don't do anything! Well who cares! I obviously care.. I'm the one at home doing it all being the slave for everyone he's at work all day and when he comes home I never ask anything of him because I know he's tired from work but I surely expect 15 min a day from the kids I think it's a slim price to pay isn't it??  What do I do? Where do I start? it's the only place we disagree! I've had it I'm at the end of my roll does any one have an answer for me?  Dr. Phil CAN you help me???? please
 
October 28, 2008, 12:01 pm CDT

Spanking

Hej. I live in Sweden and today i watch Dr Phil show abot spanking children. I wonder wy?? I belive that its the "easy" way out, hit the child make it afraid, but dont talk to it.

I think its barbarisk, evil and so cruel. In my country its forbidden to spank children. It only create fear, but no respect. Respect you get from loving parents, parents that talks to there child..

If a teacher spank a child in sweden, the police will come and the teacher will have no job. Thats a fact. Its the same whit parents or other adults, its forbidden by law, and if someone does, the socialservice will come in.

Our job as parents and adults it to make new god people thats does respect other people and doesnt hurt eatchother.

HejHopp Loppanli
 
November 20, 2008, 7:55 am CST

we totally disagree

My husband and I had a HUGE fight last night over what should be the consequences for our daughter sending 3 text messages after 9 p.m.  I felt like three days without her phone would be fine, he feels this is outrageous and thinks it should be more like a month.

HELP!

The yelling and all is just getting way too much.

 
June 10, 2009, 5:25 am CDT

Spare the rod, spoil the child

i am a citizen from Trinidad and Tobago, and i our country corporal punishment have been slowly decreasing from our education system, and since then, out country's crime rate has increased and our youth's overall respect has almost faded away. i myself grew up under corporal punishment and today i am pursuing a degree in psychology and i am not emotionally scarred or anything like that from the punishment. i agree with all the parents who discipline there children. yes, some parents may overdo it, but that is only a handful and overall, it works, even the bible states the use of the that discipline, "spare the rod, spoil the child." in our country no child can get away with answering back his parents, or cursing a teacher or anything like that, never!! what ever problems may be botherin the child, no child could get away with that kind of disrespect. if you can speak to a person who from Trinidad, they will agree.
 
July 17, 2009, 4:26 am CDT

6 Year old Growing Pains

Dr. Phil, I need serious advise! My name is Lientjie and I live in South Africa. I have recently got married to a wonderful man who adores my six year old son. My son has excepted him as his real dad. So no problems there! But about six months ago his school started complaining about his behavior in the class. I made an appointment to see a pediatrician, as we all thought it might be that he is frustrated cause his nose were blocked all the time and could have effected his hearing ability.  The pediatrician did supply us with a script for his nose to unblock and stop allergies. But the pediatrician asked us to come back if the behavior persists as he would like to assess Benjamin. So in a month we were back in front of the pediatrician for an assessment.  He diagnosed my don with ADHD and ODD. After all that i felt like a failure as a parent. For the first time i did not know how to speak to my son or how to discipline my child. I felt lost and confused. The school was still complaining even though my son was on medication. I was falling apart and my son was spiraling out of control. My husband was the only one keeping the family together and trying to keep me from coming unglued. Again we had to go back to the pediatrician. The meds were not doing its job. He then put my son on such strong meds. It kept him under control for the whole time he is at school. But i as a parent was not satisfied just keeping my child on meds. I felt like we were just covering up the problem and not solving it. I decided to contact a child psychologist to help me with some parenting skills and how to deal with my son on a day to day basis. I want skills to teach my son to become the best he can be and to cope with his condition. The psychologist assessed my son and then gave me some good ideas on parenting Benjamin. He is such a sweet child and it breaks my heart to see him battle like this every single day of his life. I know that some of his reactions is out of his control, yet i was told to be strict and apply consequence parenting methods. This is to let him punish himself. If he refuses to pick up his toys i must take all his toys away.  Dr. Phil, am i doing the right thing? When i see him cry like that, it breaks my heart. I feel like i am being CRUEL! I trust your opinion and need your help! Please give me advise! I feel lost all over again.

 
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