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Topic : Birth Stories

Number of Replies: 95
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:52:12 pm
Author : dataimport
Women love sharing their birth stories - share yours with us.

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May 14, 2006, 7:22 pm CDT

Birth Stories

Quote From: kdugger

Thank you for your response. I have been seeking counseling through my church, but she tells me to go with my heart. Not having my husband there is not by my choice. He is moving to San Diego to be closer to his girlfriend and that is 7 hours away from my home. Both of my first children came in less than six hours from start to finish. If I happen to go into to labor in the middle of the day it will take him over 9 hours to get here. He is insisting on moving there before the baby is born and my doctor is telling me to stay hopeful, but plan on him not being there. My first two children were large and this baby is below average weight due to stress and a few complications. He expects this baby to be a quick and easy delivery. I know there is hope and that God will work it out, but I truly want to be alone if he isn't there. I just don't know how to request this without stepping on toes. My husband is a correctional officer so on top of the driving time he will also need to be replaced before he can leave. I asked him to take off time to be here during the time I am due and he told me he used up all his time he saved to spend time with our new baby on trips to San Diego. The reality is that he is lower than most men in this situation because even though he may not care about me anymore he doesn't even show he cares to his own flesh and blood. I was hospitalized last week with preterm labor and he said he couldn't go to the hospital because he was going drinking with some friends. I don't tell you this to bash him, but to show you his mentality. His whole being right now is all about him. It's really frustrating how someone can walk away from all responsibility and enjoy it. He actually brags that he enjoys not having the burden of a family. 

I can feel every ounce of your pain. As well I could tell you some stories about my ex and the things I went through during the pregnancy with my daughter. I actually had emergency outpatient surgery at 8 mos and felt every cut on my body....my ex was nowhere to be found. I also know you dont share those things to appear as though you are bashing him. I for the life of me will never understand a man like that either. As though the adultery wasnt enough they have to pour salt into our wounds as well. At least you are in the church and getting counseled. If I may ask, how old is your ex? He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.....unfortunately the grass is never greener on the other side....he has just stepped into a field of poisonous weeds. I feel for any woman that will have a man who leaves a pregnant wife behind and run from responsibilities. She apparently has no respect for herself. So if he is moving to San Diego is California where you reside as well? I too live about 7 hours from S.D........anyway, keep praying and I will keep you in my prayers too. If you dont get what you want though just remember one thing.....you are strong and you will survive this....just hug your children. That is what helped me get through my difficult time....take care.
 
May 14, 2006, 11:02 pm CDT

Birth Stories

Quote From: vlinderby

I can feel every ounce of your pain. As well I could tell you some stories about my ex and the things I went through during the pregnancy with my daughter. I actually had emergency outpatient surgery at 8 mos and felt every cut on my body....my ex was nowhere to be found. I also know you dont share those things to appear as though you are bashing him. I for the life of me will never understand a man like that either. As though the adultery wasnt enough they have to pour salt into our wounds as well. At least you are in the church and getting counseled. If I may ask, how old is your ex? He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.....unfortunately the grass is never greener on the other side....he has just stepped into a field of poisonous weeds. I feel for any woman that will have a man who leaves a pregnant wife behind and run from responsibilities. She apparently has no respect for herself. So if he is moving to San Diego is California where you reside as well? I too live about 7 hours from S.D........anyway, keep praying and I will keep you in my prayers too. If you dont get what you want though just remember one thing.....you are strong and you will survive this....just hug your children. That is what helped me get through my difficult time....take care.
My husband is 27 years old. He does have a lot of growing up to do, as do I only being 26, but from the day i got married I have had to grow up fast to fill in the areas he lacked in. He is also a correctional officer. When I used to think of a man in uniform, I used to see men who were trust worthy and dependable. Now that I am going through this I have heard so many stories of what the power they hold does to their heads. Not all of them. I do not want anyone getting offended thinking I am stereotyping men in law enforcement, because there are some good men out there in it for all the right reasons. However, law enforcement, in California, holds the highest divorce and infidelity rate of any other career. When my husband went into the academy they sent me a letter to make me aware of these statistics. But being young and in love and knowing my husband was a christian I disregarded the letter thinking it would never happen to me. I know all these things play a part into his behavior, including the baggage he brought from his past. I live in central Cali. Yeah for the valley!! ( I am being sarcastic of course.) But I wouldn't trade the small town, for raising my children in, for anything but another small town.  I do truly want our family back intact, but it is so fresh that I don't know if I want it for the right reasons. I do really love him and hope with all my heart that we can work it out. But do I truly want him or do I like the comfort of familiarity and want not to be rejected. This is something I am asking God to reveal to me. Not saying that I could never forgive him, just knowing that for us to work it out is going to be a lot more heart ache. But instead of trying to figure it out myself , I have given it to the Lord and pray for his timing, not mine. Because mine would be to have all the answers now, which would leave no room for growth for either one of us. I believe God uses everything for the good and he has something working here. Thanks for the encouragement. Instead of just complaining and explaining it is nice to hear from someone so close to the situation, and be able to vent a little also.  
 
May 15, 2006, 9:48 am CDT

Birth Stories

Quote From: kdugger

My husband is 27 years old. He does have a lot of growing up to do, as do I only being 26, but from the day i got married I have had to grow up fast to fill in the areas he lacked in. He is also a correctional officer. When I used to think of a man in uniform, I used to see men who were trust worthy and dependable. Now that I am going through this I have heard so many stories of what the power they hold does to their heads. Not all of them. I do not want anyone getting offended thinking I am stereotyping men in law enforcement, because there are some good men out there in it for all the right reasons. However, law enforcement, in California, holds the highest divorce and infidelity rate of any other career. When my husband went into the academy they sent me a letter to make me aware of these statistics. But being young and in love and knowing my husband was a christian I disregarded the letter thinking it would never happen to me. I know all these things play a part into his behavior, including the baggage he brought from his past. I live in central Cali. Yeah for the valley!! ( I am being sarcastic of course.) But I wouldn't trade the small town, for raising my children in, for anything but another small town.  I do truly want our family back intact, but it is so fresh that I don't know if I want it for the right reasons. I do really love him and hope with all my heart that we can work it out. But do I truly want him or do I like the comfort of familiarity and want not to be rejected. This is something I am asking God to reveal to me. Not saying that I could never forgive him, just knowing that for us to work it out is going to be a lot more heart ache. But instead of trying to figure it out myself , I have given it to the Lord and pray for his timing, not mine. Because mine would be to have all the answers now, which would leave no room for growth for either one of us. I believe God uses everything for the good and he has something working here. Thanks for the encouragement. Instead of just complaining and explaining it is nice to hear from someone so close to the situation, and be able to vent a little also.  

Yes you are both young but it doesnt make it "okay" for him to act this way. When I was having my 3rd child I was only 28. We learn as we go. One thing is for sure, we were never promised perfect lives which is why we take what we have and grow from there. I too live in a very small town in the Central Valley.....its funny because we could possibly be next door neighbors.  

 

Im very glad to see that you are hanging on the best that you can. Reading your words brings back so many memories both good and bad. For the longest time I wanted to hang onto my marriage but in the end I knew I had to let go, not only for my sanity and health, but also for the well-being of my children. I used to tell my ex that his living style was going to be the death of him.....I never realized I would be correct. I eventually forgave and we became friends somewhat. I even offered at one point to provide him help just a few months before his death (next month will make 2 years now). One thing a lot of people dont understand is this: that they are the father of your children(even if the men have other agendas) and once you make peace you will always still love them for that reason. I am now engaged to a wonderful man but I still look at my kids and see their dad, and I still miss him and wish that he were around. Know that your husband is in my prayers, it isnt too late for him to turn around and make things right. He DOESNT have to become another statistic. Just keep your faith. I am always here for you anytime you need to vent. I will not bad mouth your husband because I know how that feels too. My family drove me nuts over my ex.........things do change for the better though. Bear with them though because they are hurting deeply for you. Hang in there and try to have a good Monday.  

 
May 17, 2006, 3:33 pm CDT

Have you gone through this??

Has anyone else gone through this? I know I'm not alone.....    

I am 33 weeks pregnant and have been experiencing some symptoms that suggest that I will go into labor sometime in the next 4 weeks! A little scary because I know the complications that can come with a baby born early! I've been nesting like crazy....cleaning everything over and over even if it's clean already, making sure everything in the nursery is in exactly the right place, and folding and refolding the baby's clothes over and over. lol! I feel like I'm going crazy! My husband thinks it's cute and funny! It's almost like I'm a robot controlled by something or someone else besides me! Another symptom is that the baby engaged into my pelvis last week which is making me waddle like crazy! That also means that I'm not out of breath all the time and my belly is a lot lower now. I can eat more now but I have to pee so much more at the same time! I have increased discharge but no "bloddy show" yet. Anyways, those are the symptoms I have right now. My husband and I are attending a childbirth class and we find it a little wierd that NO ONE else in our group of 30 people are experiencing any of those symptoms yet! A lot of the women in my class are a little further along than I am too!     

What I'm wondering is if anyone has experience premature labor that was stopped because it was too early. I went into premature labor at 28 weeks and they stopped it twice. I was put on bedrest, but now I'm off. Have any of you experienced this? If so, how long afterwards did your baby come? Was your baby early?  Are you going through this too?    

Thanks for the help and advice.....    

 
June 3, 2006, 12:43 pm CDT

Birth stories

I was also told that there is no way of me having kids ever. The problem was that I never menstruated regularly - only about once a year. Three years later I was shocked to discover that I'm pregnant. At seven weeks I had a miscarrage. My heart was broken, yet releaved cause i was only twenty at the time and without a good job. Three years after my first pregnancy, yup, I'm pregnant again. I feared another loss. At 10 weeks I started bleeding, but only descovered a bloodclot in my womb. Everything went fine and at 12 weeks the gynie told us were having twins. Shocked as could be, I was very happy. One month later they told us that one baby is not going to make it, she was severely abnormal. My hopes died in an instant. I wanted to abort but could not take a healthy baby's life to save a sick one. I kept the pregnancy and at 29 weeks, at a routine checkup, they saw a third membrane on the scan, but no baby. So basicly I had one full baby, one half baby and one ungrown embrio. Confused and shocked, I then remembered of funny dull pains in my pelvis. After telling the Specialist, she checked me and said i was in labour. Now things change as we worry about the survival of the healthy baby being born at 29 weeks. I had to undergo a emergency C-section. Nothing like I'd expected it to be. How i thought my last moments with twin 2 would be, was not like it at all.  Twin 1 weighed only 1kg, approx 2 pounds, she was rushed to the trauma unit. After alot of struggle, because her cord was too short, twin 2 was born and she was still alive. At this stage i started feeling sharp pains in my back, wich obviously means that life is coming back. They put twin 2 on my lap while cutting the cord. She died instantly. She had no lungs, rectum, genitals, bladder, kidneys, hip bones, pelvis bones, her spine was badly twisted, she had two left legs-one facing backwards, the organs she had was hanging out a whole in her tummy and she only had half a chest bone. It's very hard knowing your baby is going to die in a few seconds and there's nothing you can do. I only saw her face after birth and saw the post-mortem photos later.   

   

Twin one was in ICU for 2 weeks and in total in hospital for 2 months to gain weight and recover. Today she is very beautiful, she's a model for children clothing. She is now one year old and still wears 0-3 month baby clothes. She's vibrant and has a lot of soul.    

   

So girls and mommies to be, When a miracle like mine comes your way, even if all of it isn't a happy ending, grab it with both hands. Do alot of reading on pregnancy and look after yourself. I can fall pregnant again, I've proved that, but my baby girl will forever miss her baby angel sister.   

   

Take care   

Sad and happy mommy   

   

 
June 24, 2006, 1:35 pm CDT

Marijuana, Tobacco & Pregnancy

Just found out my 27 year old daughter is 4 mos. pregnant. She smokes cigs but worse than that marijuana - heavily from the time she gets up until she goes to bed. She has some severe mental problems - bipolar, depressed, very angry and unbalanced - who knows, but we are estranged so she won’t listen to me. She live with my 79 year old stepmother who gives her whatever she wants, including money, letting her drug dealer come over, have violent outbursts at her…She is on SSI for ADHD and the stepmother won't say a thing to her about it- she’s had her since she was 12 and has given her EVERYTHING she wants – including paying about 40K worth of bills over the years – that relationship is another whole can of worms, so…. Been researching laws - I feel so selfish because if it is child neglect, which I don’t know it is or even if I anonymously reported to her Dr., the family would turn on me - feel like an ass for putting my needs before that of an innocent baby. Any advice? The internet has conflicting views on how harmful it actually is, and as far as CA state law goes, I found this:11165.13.   

For purposes of this article, a positive toxicology screen at the time of the delivery of an infant is not in and of itself a sufficient basis for reporting child abuse or neglect.
However, any indication of maternal substance abuse shall lead to an assessment of the needs of the mother and child pursuant to Section 123605 of the Health and Safety Code.  If other factors are present that indicate risk to a child, then a report shall be made.  However, a report based on risk to a child which relates solely to the
inability of the parent to provide the child with regular care due to the parent's substance abuse shall be made only to a county welfare or probation department, and not to a law enforcement agency.
 

I am conflicted…. 

  

 
June 25, 2006, 11:57 am CDT

Post re: Marijuana & Prenancy

I didn't get any replies to this, not sure how long this usually takes, but am I posting this question in the wrong forum perhaps - is there a more appropriate place to look for help/support? 

THanks 

 
July 17, 2006, 4:35 pm CDT

Placenta Previa

 Has anyone had experience with a Placenta Previa birth. This is my second child and I am
a little scared. I had my first one via a normal vaginal delivery and now to have a Cesarean
and have the placenta previa complication too. I don't really know what to expect.
 
July 24, 2006, 7:47 am CDT

Premature

Quote From: wsrchick

Has anyone else gone through this? I know I'm not alone.....    

I am 33 weeks pregnant and have been experiencing some symptoms that suggest that I will go into labor sometime in the next 4 weeks! A little scary because I know the complications that can come with a baby born early! I've been nesting like crazy....cleaning everything over and over even if it's clean already, making sure everything in the nursery is in exactly the right place, and folding and refolding the baby's clothes over and over. lol! I feel like I'm going crazy! My husband thinks it's cute and funny! It's almost like I'm a robot controlled by something or someone else besides me! Another symptom is that the baby engaged into my pelvis last week which is making me waddle like crazy! That also means that I'm not out of breath all the time and my belly is a lot lower now. I can eat more now but I have to pee so much more at the same time! I have increased discharge but no "bloddy show" yet. Anyways, those are the symptoms I have right now. My husband and I are attending a childbirth class and we find it a little wierd that NO ONE else in our group of 30 people are experiencing any of those symptoms yet! A lot of the women in my class are a little further along than I am too!     

What I'm wondering is if anyone has experience premature labor that was stopped because it was too early. I went into premature labor at 28 weeks and they stopped it twice. I was put on bedrest, but now I'm off. Have any of you experienced this? If so, how long afterwards did your baby come? Was your baby early?  Are you going through this too?    

Thanks for the help and advice.....    

My son was born at 27 weeks, after his head was engaged I gave birth 6 days later,he wasn't expected to survive, the doctors told me to prepare for the worst, I had him christened but hes a little fighter and thrived. He's 3 now and is the most active child of all the kids I know. He's a little bit small for his age and he does pick up coughs and colds a little easier than most kids but hes a normal child. I know what you're going through and all the worries you have but stay strong. Is this your first pregnancy? My son was my first but I had my daughter 12 weeks ago and carried her to term, in fact she was 3 days overdue!!! Hope everything goes well.
 
August 4, 2006, 8:12 pm CDT

a miracle is needed

Quote From: devildogs2

Just found out my 27 year old daughter is 4 mos. pregnant. She smokes cigs but worse than that marijuana - heavily from the time she gets up until she goes to bed. She has some severe mental problems - bipolar, depressed, very angry and unbalanced - who knows, but we are estranged so she won’t listen to me. She live with my 79 year old stepmother who gives her whatever she wants, including money, letting her drug dealer come over, have violent outbursts at her…She is on SSI for ADHD and the stepmother won't say a thing to her about it- she’s had her since she was 12 and has given her EVERYTHING she wants – including paying about 40K worth of bills over the years – that relationship is another whole can of worms, so…. Been researching laws - I feel so selfish because if it is child neglect, which I don’t know it is or even if I anonymously reported to her Dr., the family would turn on me - feel like an ass for putting my needs before that of an innocent baby. Any advice? The internet has conflicting views on how harmful it actually is, and as far as CA state law goes, I found this:11165.13.   

For purposes of this article, a positive toxicology screen at the time of the delivery of an infant is not in and of itself a sufficient basis for reporting child abuse or neglect.
However, any indication of maternal substance abuse shall lead to an assessment of the needs of the mother and child pursuant to Section 123605 of the Health and Safety Code.  If other factors are present that indicate risk to a child, then a report shall be made.  However, a report based on risk to a child which relates solely to the
inability of the parent to provide the child with regular care due to the parent's substance abuse shall be made only to a county welfare or probation department, and not to a law enforcement agency.
 

I am conflicted…. 

  

You need to report her and also catch her in the act and call the police.

does she have a job if not talk her into getting on medacare and getting some free help but if worse comes to worse to get things on the ball report her to DHS and child services as fetus indangerment then catch in the act while she is doing drugs and call the police right there and then. When her drug dealear comes over does he bring drugs????????????? you could het him but then you would have to worry about retaliation.............  If the baby makes it threw all the drug abuse exspecially weed it will be born with major problems weed is known to shrink x chromosones with leads to retardation. But try and get her caught and put in a program maybe then you can become the childs guardian and they will keep her looked up till birth of the baby.

I know alot more on this because I sort of had to deal with the same situation I dont have time to explain right now but my email address is lochevy2door@yahoo.com if you want to hear more good luck..................

 
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