Topic : Birth Stories

To the person who stated that they think my story of being stiched without pain medication is suspect:  Oblivously you are a coward and you don't have a clue.  Again how dare you!  How can you be so insensitive to another person's personal situation?  On a subject as personal and sensitive as childbirth I wouldn't dare make anything up.  You really need to get a life!

 

                                                                                                Jayz23

Hi I had my son when I was 17, I never went to prenatal classes or anything and I was about 4 or 5 months along before i found a midwife (there was a shortage and everyone was booked up).

On my first scan they told me I was having a boy and he was very healthy but I also had a large cyst but thankfully it wasnt hurting the baby.

They sceduled me to have another scan two weeks later to see if the cyst would get bigger.

When i went back for the next scan it showed the cyst had doubled in size so they organised for it to be drained by putting a needle in my belly.

Unfortunately the baby had moved down by the time they went to drain it so they had to drain it by putting the needle in through the side of my woman parts (didnt wana write that word lol).

It was very painfull as the numbing gel didnt work but thankfully it only took about 15mins.

The rest of my pregnancy went smoothly and I was due to have baby on the 24th of May and all my friends and family kept saying wouldnt it be great if baby came 4 days early then he would have the same bday as his dad.

Well as it happened I did go into labour on his dads bday but the lil fella decided to stay in there a bit longer (42 hrs) and finally came out 2 days later lol.

The birth went well except they had a student midwife pull out the afterbirth which she pulled too hard and it snapped and went back up inside me. It was the most awful pain (asides from the birth) when they used the forceps to open me up to get it out (they didnt have time to give me pain relief) the whole room and everyone in it was panicing which freaked me out.

But about an hr later I was allowed to hold my beautiful baby boy I have never felt so happy in my entire life

And i would go through all that many times over just to have my son christopher.

 

sorry this is so long lol

There has been a lot of talk lately about "home birth" and what its implications are and what is involved and some of the terrible misconceptions as well.  I will relay my experience coming from the angle of the father and seeing my wife go through what she had to go through and what my reaction was. 

 

My wife and I have been pregnant 5 times and have 3 children.  Starting our family has been a priority for us since my wife and I differ in age by 11 years, she being my superior.  She is Japanese, and comes from a different culture and upbringing that I am not used to, but we find that is a great strength and a wonderful relationship builder for us.  When we found out we were pregnant with our first, we were naturally elated.  3 months into the pregnancy my wife had a miscarriage which was difficult for me, but completely devastating for my wife.  She feared she would not be able to have children and was a failure as a wife and mother.  After going through a lot of emotional supporting and reassurance, we found we were pregnant about 4 months later and were elated.  This time, my wife was very "morning-sick" and that was a good sign in that it means the pregnancy will most likely keep - or at least has a better chance.  Not having had any experience (and this is our fault for not better educating ourselves) we dove into the whole go to the hospital and have the baby routine.  Funny enough, I was able to see the same OB that delivered me and most of my brothers and sisters (I come from a family of 8).  I felt confident in his experience.  My wife however, was not at all at ease.  In Japan, they have their babies in more of a "birth center" atomsphere with midwives attending those births and the doctors attending the high risk births only.  The fact my wife was seeing a full OB instead of a midwife really bothered her.  She also did not like that the doctor told her from the first visit that her pelvis was too small and that she would probably never be able to have a baby vaginally.  She did not share these fears with me at the time, these were shared after the fact.  We went into the whole birth proceedure expressing a deep desire to have the baby naturally and my wife who is one to lean on the side of medicine first insisted that she have the baby naturally.  We went in after we were overdue on the doctor's advice to be induced since the baby had not yet come naturally.  This was our first mistake.  When we went in, they immediately hooked my wife up to an IV and started her on Pitocin, a synthetic form of the natural hormone oxytocin that is used to augment labor.  I did not know really what it was, only that it started labor.  Boy, did it ever start labor, and in a way very painful to my wife.  Within 2 hours she was in excruciating pain, bawling that it hurt so bad she could not breathe well.  I asked the nurse to come and look and the only reply was "since she was not handling the labor well, to have an epidural" which took all of the wind out of my wifes' sails.  She felt like a failure after only being at it for 2 hours.  To make a long story short, after the epidural, her labor did not progress quickly or to the satisfaction of the doctors.  They broke her water, gave her other drugs to try and stimulate the process to no avail.  The baby started showing signs of distress, and the doctor told us he would have to do a C-section to get the baby out now or he could die.  What do you say to that, after trying for 22 hours to get the baby out?  We had our little boy shortly thereafter.  I will never forget how excited I was to hold my little boy for the first time.  But even more, I will never forget the look on my wife's face when I went back into the room and she had come out of surgury.  She was in tears, apologizing to me on what a failure she was (kind of the whole Japanese cultural thing) and I reassured her that we had done all we could do and was glad we had the doctor's help.  After discovering infections in our first boy shortly thereafter and having him on antibiotics for a week and fearing he was jaundiced as well, we left the hospital after a week.  We were exausted and glad to have it over with and glad we had our little boy with us.  This was our first birthing experience. 

 

My wife left the hospital with a renewed energy to restudy the whole thing so that next time, things would be different.  The doctor told my wife on the way out of the hosptial that she would have to have each baby via C-section in the future now.  She did not belive that, and started doing a lot of research on VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesarian) and what her chances would be of being able to have the baby naturally.  At the time, we had a young family renting our basement apartment and we were suprised to hear that they were going to have their baby at home.  I personally thought it was because they were poor and not able to afford heath insurance, but found out later, it was for much different reasons.  They introduced my wife to their midwife and to their doula (birth assistant).  My wife found that she also studied a method of natural child birth called "hypnobirthing" and that she was a firm believer in it.  My wife read the book she had on it and did a lot of research - all of this while I did not know what was going on.  I am so thankful she did this and was so caring and involved in her birth process.  It has made all of the difference. 

 

We found out a while later that we were pregnant again.  My wife did not get the morning sickness feelings that she experienced the first time around and she worried that things were not going right.  Her suspicions were confirmed when she miscarried after 11 weeks.  It was difficult for her, but she seemed to get over it quicker than the time before.  I was probably more devistated this time around and had a hard time with it, I still don't know quite why, I just did.  Fortunately, two months later, we found ourselves pregnant again, and my wife came to me and we had probably the first real argument I can remember in our marriage.  We were very good at listening to eachother and could work things out.  But, when she came to me and asked if we could have this baby at home, I wanted nothing to do with it.  We got into an argument and she cried, begging me to let her have the baby at home.  The things that went through my mind were legitimate questions like "what if something goes wrong?  What if your scar ruptures on your uterus where you were sectioned earlier?  What if the baby has problems?  What if you get in trouble and bleed to death?" Etc.  I had to take some time away and fast and pray about it and attend the temple (we are mormon) and meditate about this most important decision.  When I did this, I was overcome with an unbeliveable feeling of peace and reassurance.  I knew it would be alright.  I came home and told my wife this and the studying ensued.  I was shown litterature and readings that she had been doing for months.  I was overwhelmed that she had done so much to try to look into this.  I was most grateful.  We started taking hypnobirthing lessons from the doula that my wife had met through our renters in the basement who had since left.  These classes really reassured my wife and I that her body was designed and created for birth, that her pelvis was not too small, and that she was capable and fully able to birth this baby.  I was pretty psyched up about the whole thing.  She was too.  Our doula put us in touch with her midwife who we met up with and had a fanstastic experience with.  Long story short, we had the baby at home with a labor that was 1 and a half hours long, and an 8lb baby boy being the result.  I was amazed at how smoothly it went and how my wife was able to handle everything so well.  It almost went too well.....almost too perfect. 

 

We continued to study out different topics and items on birth so that when we were pregnant again, we would still be ready.  We found out we were pregant again December last year and started the whole process over gain.  With our second birth, my wife gained about 40lbs and went into labor 5 days before the due date.  This time, she gained over 60lbs and went right up to the due date (yep, our baby was an 8-8-08 baby :) ).  I was worried that the baby might be too big, but trusted in my wife's abilities.  Her labor started about 8:30 PM on the night of the 7th and she delivered another healthy baby boy, only this time he was 9lbs 7oz, 30% bigger than any of our other children.  That is really big for a Japanese person to carry and birth.  I was truly amazed, and whats more amazing is how well everything went.  The birth could not have been better, and the results were fantastic. 

 

As we have shared these experiences with others, the general reaction was always, "oh...you had the baby at home....did not you make it to the hosptial??  Things financially tight??" or things like that.  My parents have grown used to the idea, but it was a trick getting them used to the thought of a home birth.  When it came to talking to doctors or medical professionals about it, we were treated like we were leppors or something diseased.  It was shocking to see what a poor opinion they have of the process. 

 

After having been through both, I can tell you that our home births were by far better, more rewarding and not the frightening experience one might imagine when thinking of a natural birth.  Each of our births have been special, but our births at home have a very special spiritual overtone that I will never forget.  I am convinced that had we done what we did not the latter two children with our first, we would have avoided the problems that snowballed due to interventions in the hospital that were unnecessary.  I wish we had known more going in, but perhaps it is because of that, that we enjoyed our second two biths so much.  I am a firm beliver in the institution of midwifery and its importance to and in society.  We need them and should not shun them or think less of them.  They are every much in my eyes, the miracle workers that doctors are in mine.  OBGYN's have a place too, to take care of the high-risk, more dangerous circumstances and working their miracles in the same way.  Thank goodness we have them.  Both are necessary, and neither can replace the other.  I look forward to a day when they work hand in hand like they do in so many other countries.  I hope that day comes soon for us here in the USA.  I want my children to have the same special experience we were able to, and for their wives to be able to experience what their mother was able to, in bringing them into this world.  My wife is forever changed and a better mother for it, and if any mother is able, please consider the possibility there when considering how to have your baby.  It will change your life for the better.

We have 4 children.  We had great insurance which would have covered 100 percent of the prenatal/hospital delivery if we chose to have a doctor and hospital care.  Our first baby was born at home with the help of our CPM (Certified Professional Midwife).  (Insurance reimbursed us only $400 for  the
prenatal/delivery/postnatal care .) In between our first and second children, we had a molar pregnancy.  About 10 weeks into the first trimester, our midwife couldn't find fetal heart tones; she immediately sent us for a sonogram, where they confirmed a molar pregnancy.  She assisted us in finding an OB/GYN who
would take this "high-risk" case and then she accompanied us in the hospital during the D&C.  When I was pregnant with our second baby we were saving to buy a house so we opted to let the insurance pay for all our medical costs and we had our second baby naturally at the hospital. Although we had a good doctor who abided by our wishes, my husband and I regretted our decision to deliver in the hospital.  We missed the wonderful care our midwife gave me.  At the hospital, I was told to lay down on my back so that the fetal monitor could stay strapped to my belly instead of walking and laboring with positions that
worked with my contractions. (With our first, midwife intermittently monitored baby while I was in whatever position I was comfortable in.)  Because we were not conforming to the hospital standard procedure, the nursing staff abandoned me during my labor; I was 9 cm dilated, and my husband had to go to the
nurses' station to convince the nurses that I was at the pushing stage - when they finally came in and checked me they frantically called the doctor to come to the hospital.  We also missed the ability to rest and bond with our new baby undisturbed as we did with our first baby.  With our third baby, we decided
to have our  midwife.  During third trimester, baby was breech; our midwife highly recommended we have a c-section at the hospital and we heeded her advice.  Fourth baby, during my third trimester she saw signs of early pre-eclampsia and  advised me to eat more protein, drink more water, and take better care of myself.  I did as she said, and I felt much better.  We had a  VBAC at home with our midwife, and I will always cherish the memories of taking a peaceful bath with my precious baby right after delivery and then laying in my bed watching my husband and our  children hold the baby an hour after he was born!
  Although we are very fond of our OB/GYN and would recommend him to anyone needing a hospital delivery, he and the hospital staff do not provide the prenatal/natal/postnatal care that our midwife does.  She sends blood work to the lab, takes urine tests, blood pressure and takes all measurements that our
doctor did.  However, she monitors the pregnancy much more closely than the doctor did  and she requests all medical history/previous pregnancy records, etc- so she catches possible complications early (as she did with the molar, our third baby being breech and pre-eclampsia with our fourth ).  She monitored my nutrition, excercise, breastfeeding success, baby's lab work, baby's post-natal health,  pap smears, etc.  And then if there is a high-risk client or complication she knows when to send her client to an MD.  With our hospital deliveries, I sorely missed my midwife's care.   If we have a fifth baby, we
would absolutely have our midwife provide for our care.  And we feel blessed that we've been able to have these experiences so that we may encourage others.. 

When my husband and I discovered we were expecting (my second, his first), we decided to try for a midwife assisted birth center birth.  My pregnancy was uncomplicated so there was no need for doctors to get involved.  I had complete control over my prenatal care.  The only time a doctor was involved was when I went into preterm labor 26 weeks into my pregnancy.  I went to the hospital that my birth center worked with and found out I was 1 cm dilated.  A few weeks later, I started contractions again.  Went to hospital again, 3 cm dilated.  Then at 36 weeks contractions started again went to the birth center (their cut off was 36 weeks, anytime before that they considered preterm), 4 cm dilated.  I stayed that way for the rest of the pregnancy.  At my checkup on my due date, my blood pressure decided to spike.  Still dilated and huge, my baby didn't seem to want to budge.  The midwife decided they would induce either at the hospital or birth center, depending on what my blood pressure did.  My blood pressure came down and they induced me naturally with an enema.  Hard labor started about a half-hour after that happened.  After about 4 hours of hard labor (total) and pushing for 10 minutes, I gave birth to a healthy 10lb, 13oz baby boy.  No drugs, no doctor, in a beautiful and peaceful setting.  It was SO much better than my hospital birth with my first son.  I didn't have time to think about how much it hurt, the baby came too quickly.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but being able to go home 12 hours later and being able to bond with my new baby in my own home and with my family and friends around was well worth it.