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Topic : 07/27 Fighting Styles

Number of Replies: 166
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Created on : Thursday, April 27, 2006, 07:07:11 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/01/06) Dr. Phil’s guests say they fight so much that fighting has become the only way they know how to communicate. But is there a right and wrong way to fight? Kim admits that she’s a screamer who often uses profanity in front of their kids. Her husband, Mike, says he’s a cerebral fighter who retaliates by calling her “mental” and “psycho.” Kim has reached such a boiling point that when she goes at it with her spouse, she throws the phone and smashes up picture frames! Can this couple learn to put down the gloves and call a truce? Then, Belinda’s screaming and hitting caused her husband, Gerald, to move across the country just to get away from her. Cameras caught the chaos when Gerald returned home in an effort to sort out their issues. Will reconciling with Belinda be the biggest mistake of his life? If you’re a feuding couple, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s Rules for Fighting Fair and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 31, 2006, 10:34 am CDT

07/27 Fighting Styles

Quote From: susanbee47

It's interesting that you mention the tears, I did think Dr. Phil finally got through to the other side of this guy's agenda, (making her look like she deserved whatever he is or was planning for her), but my own read on it was that he was ashamed of what he had said. With editing it's hard to be sure what follows what and how closely but I would say he looked ashamed and hopefully he's ashamed of what he had planned for this woman.   

   

It's sort of like asking any criminal if they're sorry--sure they are, they're sorry they got caught, not for what they did to someone. I do think he was remoresful though, but just not for what he's been doing to both the wife, and heaven knows to those poor children who have had to listen to the truly horrible things he's been saying as he moved forward with his plan, whatever it was.   

   

All children need to feel they are secure in their lives with parents who are caring and willing and capable. Anytime you define a parent as incapable there is terrible damage to a child--what he did to the kids was unforgiveable to me.   

   

Lucky he is, that for reasons I can't fathom this woman finds any iota of something attractive or appealing about him. I frankly can't even begin to see why. I can't imagine a good day where he'd be appealing. Maybe he ought to think about that too--I get the impression some of these guys think they're going to be hot stuff once they get rid of their tiresome old wives............geez most of 'em are probably lottery lucky to have the wife they already have let alone someone who would be interested after the fact.   

   

I don't mean to sound so judgmental but I have lived a long time, and seen so much and there is the fact that the camera doesn't lie. That's why shows like this are so successful, and important, you really get to stand back and get a good perspective, unadultered (for the most part anyway), and hopefully again, the people on the shows get to see themselves as they really are. Or maybe even in this husband's case as he comes off to the rest of us.......transparent. I've done jury duty and it's interesting how many people will go to court and despite the cockiness you see them start out with it's often pretty easy to see right through them. More people could serve themselves better by dealing with reality rather than the ego trip that makes think their own lies and subterfuge are indetectable.  

I don't think that you are being judgmental, I agree with you 100%.  I don't think that he realized just how ignorant and selfish he was being - not to mention completely full of himself...he was just so transparent.     

  

He has a complete package of a family and instead of nurturing that in every sense of the word, he was feeding his ego, (God only knows where that came from), and destroying it....The grass isn't always greener on the other side, so I think that he just needs to take care of the lawn that he has already. 

  

Just to hear the rediculousless of putting his wife down for the baby being in a dirty diaper...I mean, did I hear that right?!!!.....(Stop thinking about how much of your family's money you are going to gamble away, and take part in raising your child Mike...change your baby's diaper.). 

  

 
August 4, 2006, 3:47 pm CDT

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE - DEFINED

Child sexual abuse (1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys) occurs among all groups of the population. It happens to children in both rural and urban areas and in all socioeconomic and educational levels, and across all racial and cultural groups.

There is no rule governing the age range between a victim and a perpetrator. Generally, children are sexually abused by adults who are related to them or known by them or their families.

Sexual abuse is forced, tricked, or coerced sexual behavior between a young person and an older person.

Child sexual abuse may consist of any one of the following acts:

1. Nudity 2. Disrobing 3. Genital exposure 4. Inappropriate kissing or fondling 6. Masturbation 7. Oral-genital contact 8. Child pornography 9. Digital penetration 10. Vaginal or anal intercourse

Acquaintance perpetrators are the most common abusers, constituting approximately 70-90% of all reported perpetrators. In sexual abuse cases committed against females, approximately one third to one-half of all perpetrators were related to the victim. Only about one-tenth of the abusers were related to their male victims.  

   

 
September 22, 2006, 12:46 am CDT

07/27 Fighting Styles

Quote From: notprfct

I completly agree.  When I met my husband 8yrs ago he was on his 3rd marriage and had not filed for divorce yet.  She left and never looked back.  That was Sept. and in Dec. she served him with divorce papers.  Left everything in the house and only took her clothes (no car).  He told me every excuse in the book why she had left.  She was cheating, his kids etc.  Now that I have known him for 8yrs...............I'm and idiot for sticking around.  He is the money maker and I have a child.  A foulish situation I have gotten myself in.  He is 13yrs older than me and lets me know it!!  Ladies beware:  If the warning signs are there don't ignore them.  This is my first marriage and I am 32.  My Parents and Grandparents never divorced.  I'm not saying that it dosen't happen in my family.  But it is very hard for me to accept.  I look at myself as a failure.  I get very angry and I direct it at him.  I feel like I have been robbed.  I do not fight fair.  I have alot of changes to make to fix me.  Blamming him would not help me right now.  So for all of you women that are not married and in a unhealty relationship.  Think twice.  It is not asking to much to have a healty relationship.  Once your married it really muddies the water.  Houses, cars, debt, kids etc.
you are right. i know people in bad relationships and made a mistake by geting married. they have bought things they can't afford alone and have to stay together to pay for these things. as for his third wife leaving and not taking anything, your husband must have been a horrible person and a pain in the butt. because i ain't leaving nothing behind that i worked for. his new woman will not benefit off my hard earned money. i see you were only in your twenties when you met. at that age we women are very naive. but keep your head up and being as that he works and you do not he has to take of you and the child in the event he puts you out or if you leave he will be obligated to the child. so go to school get a piece job and handle you life. you deserve to be happy.
 
March 9, 2007, 1:53 am CST

me again

Quote From: hghdsrtgrl

 The picture in my profile is 8 days old, I hit my husband with a swing of about six inches because thats how close he was to me when I hit him. He would not stop yelling at the top of his voice his face in my face. In return he hit me as hard as he could on my arm. He says I deserve it, I am ill with Systemic Lupus Arythmatosis and have no  strength to hurt him. The words are what is destroying me. Jackie
I dont know how to get courage to leave but this violence calmed down for a few years and now i am seeing the pattern of when it 1st began. i dont know why/how i stay except for my love for him?? i realize how ignorant this sounds, trust me i do, alkthough here i am pathetic as ever and so very down. is there anyone who can help me help me please?  
 
April 14, 2007, 2:36 pm CDT

Thank you Fred

Quote From: fthayer

Nancy, that was a very sad story that you shared. Your life certainly didn't go the way that you had hoped. Well, neither did mine. My parents and I used to fight constantly. As a result, I have not spoken to them in more than two years. Well, at least I live life a lot more peacefully. What I have done is surround myself with people that make me feel good and don't talk down to me. Relationships can be a very fragile thing. Still, it's worth it if you're together with someone with compatible lives. Please don't give up hope on meeting someone that's truly special to you. Start creating friendships with people of which you have some common interests with. You're off to a good start from what I've read so far. It's unfortunate that you can't afford to get councelling. It would be a good investment for how you can cope with life. Try to hang in there. I hope that you can find the strength and determination to meet some interesting people so that you are not feeling alone.  

Sincerely,  

Fred.  

I don't know if anyone ever reads these old post or not, but my life has changed so much that I thought I would share it just in case. I am doing so much better. Ive  done a lot of soul searching and been able to truly forgive everyone in my life. I have peace from within. I see people in a new light and they seem to see me differently also.  Life is not perfect but I am happy with who I am. Life is so different when you like yourself.

Thank you Fred for your caring words at a very hard time in my life.

 

harleyck

 
April 14, 2007, 2:43 pm CDT

Thank you

Quote From: fourjewels

Nancy. Take Fred's advice. If I had to take a crack at why you feel this way is that you don't want to be disappointed again. Seems the people who you have loved the most have hurt you in some way that you would have never expected and you don't know how to understand it. Seems in general, you see the good in other people, and yet for some reason you get the other end of the stick from the people you would expect to love you and treat you right. Like you, I am well liked and a lot of people outside my personal relationships see the good in me and like me because of me. Your story is so much like me. Right now I have everything, but yet, am scared that I will disappointed again by the one I love. Some of it still feels like deja vu these days if me and my husband get in a fight, or he's stressed or not happy about something and somehow, it's because of me. Or it's my fault.  My advice is for you to see if you can make time to just go somewhere, anywhere and be by yourself and with your own thoughts. Go on a cruise or another state or country where no one knows you and just be you and mingle with other people. There are no expectations and nothing to prove. THese other people are strangers and you just be you. You need a break.  

I don't know if anyone ever reads these old post or not, but my life has changed so much that I thought I would share it just in case. I am doing so much better. Ive  done a lot of soul searching and been able to truly forgive everone in my life. I have peace from within. I see people in a new light and they seem to see me differently also.  Life is not perfect but I am happy with who I am. Life is so different when you like yourself.

Just in case you ever check this post again, Thank you for your caring words.

 

harleyck

 
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