Topic : 07/27 Fighting Styles

I could hardly watch that segment yesterday, with that little child subjected to that screaming and foul language!  My 2yr. old was in the next room, so I muted the TV and watched it on closed caption so HE wouldn't have to hear it!!!!!!!  That poor child, it made me want to cry.  

That husband is horrible!  It's a--holes like him that give men a bad name!  Why doesn't he change the kids diaper if he thinks it's dirty!!! (PS, it's no crime to leave it for 30 min. and make sure the kids is done!)  

I'm glad Dr. Phil layed into him!  I'm glad the guy started crying!  I hope he can learn to be a decent human being!  

My husband and I rarely fight and when we do it is a reasonable discussion.  Most of the time my husband agrees with me and we make a plan to change things in the future.  

I grew up with a father who yelled and terrorized us.  It was like a prison sentence.  I would NEVER MARRY A MAN WHO YELLS.  It's just another kind of abuse.  

I can't tell you how to get over it but I can tell you that from what you said, I'm glad for you that you're no longer in that relationship.  It sounds like you payed the price from beginning to end and love or not, you don't deserve that from ANYONE. 

I can also tell you that when you do find that guy that truly loves you and adores you, you'll look back on this and say to yourself "what was I thinking".  Look in your mirror and see the beautiful woman you are.  If you want to lose some of that weight, do it for you!  Do whatever you need and want for yourself.  You'll find happiness in yourself and in a real man. 

Good luck to you and I hope you find what you're looking for. 

Nancy, that was a very sad story that you shared. Your life certainly didn't go the way that you had hoped. Well, neither did mine. My parents and I used to fight constantly. As a result, I have not spoken to them in more than two years. Well, at least I live life a lot more peacefully. What I have done is surround myself with people that make me feel good and don't talk down to me. Relationships can be a very fragile thing. Still, it's worth it if you're together with someone with compatible lives. Please don't give up hope on meeting someone that's truly special to you. Start creating friendships with people of which you have some common interests with. You're off to a good start from what I've read so far. It's unfortunate that you can't afford to get councelling. It would be a good investment for how you can cope with life. Try to hang in there. I hope that you can find the strength and determination to meet some interesting people so that you are not feeling alone.  

Sincerely,  

Fred.  

How dare those parents!  

I believe with what they aired on the show that they have qualified themselves for another show: Parenting 101.  

Who do they think they are to be able to cause that little child the torment that they do ????  

Shame on you!  Shame on you!  

Everyone in a marriage goes through hard times, it is up to us as the adults to work through it.  

We make the choice on how to handle it.  

And as far as the Dad making a comment about Mommy letting him sit in his dirty diaper.....  

Why don't you get off your dead butt and change it???  Is there something wrong with your set of hands??  

How dare you!  

To sum it up......................GROW THE HELL UP! 

I can't believe that Mike went around raving to his wife about their child having messy pants for 1/2 an hour and she didn't change the pants!  Well, duh!  If he was aware that the child had messy pants, why didn't he change them?  What did he do, break both his arms and legs?  REALLY! 

What a jerk. 

WOW!!!!  

Watching the way that Kim and Mike fought was such a scary thing to see for me.  I felt like I was looking in a mirror.  We have been together for 6 years, I brought a daughter into the relationship who was 4 years old at the time.  I am so afraid as to what damage I might have done to her pour innocent soul.  I grew up with a father who yelled all the time and a mother who let him.  I am so afraid that I have shown my daughter that this is how a man and a woman love each other.  We are at a point now where we NEVER spend time together.  He has buried himself in his work and when he does have free time, he's at a bar, casino or with friends.  He says things to hurt when we're fighting.  I try to defend and stick up for myself.  You can only be put down so many times before it starts to change who you are.  I am not the person at all anymore that he met ( an ongoing fight).  Well jeese, I wonder why.  When you tell the woman you LOVE that she is selfish and only thinks about herself because she wants to take about her pain, or when he showed up 2 1/2 hours late, empty handed not even a card to my 30th birthday party, while I'm pregnant with our baby (his first child) because drinking with a client was more important, or when he repeatedly tells me to f. off., or when he commented that all I do is sit around and eat all day.  I am in so much pain and I wish he could see this.  Our newborn baby is 4 months old and I just found out last week that I am 8 weeks pregnant.  I don't want to bring another child into this hurtful and destructive relationship but I don't see him as ever being the kind of person he was when he actually cared about my heart.  There is obviously so much more to this relationship.  He has a major gambling problem, he thinks he has a right to watch porn and strippers because I'm not thin anymore,  he treats my daughter like she should be perfect all the time, he's a work-a-holic as well on the road to an alcoholic.  I ask myself all the time why am I with him and the only answer I can come up with is because I'm trapped.  I do love him and I know he has feelings for me but I just need him to see that if he cares and takes care of me and my feelings, I would be such a better woman for him.  

Anyway, I guess it makes me feel better that I'm not the only woman in the world in a relationship like this but it makes me sad that this seems to be so common.  Why are men so hurtful to the woman they love?  

It is no smarter than staying in an abusive relationship.  You model for children that an ugly, hateful way of speaking to each other is ok.  I've been a single Mom, I know it is hard, but anything worth doing is.  I would rather strugle every single day of my life than to teach my son that either speaking that way or allowing yourself to be spoken to in such a way is acceptable.  I suppose if you want to stay in a relationship where you get your face bashed in, or are screamed at in such a degrading maner, because it's easy then that, sadly, says a lot. 

Kathleen 

The thing I found interesting about Kim and her husband is that they were both verbal fighters,  

whereas he saw himself cerebral.It's almost like a boxing match(whose going to get the next punch).These styles com from our parents and when  we get in bed with our spouses,our parents are their too!This couple needs to find out want is making them so unhappy. If the husband is  

away too long-he should compromise and find another job. If kim feels being a full time mother  

is too much then get a part-time job,join a club etc.Fighting like that only gets you highblood  

pressure which leads to stroke and heart attack.Compromise  is the key.    Best of luck!