Topic : 05/02 Missing

Dear Dr. Phil:  

When my husband and I were contemplating getting married he received a telephone call from his ex-wife where he worked in 1993. She informed him that if he thought of ever marrying me that she would take his two boys away. My husband did not believe that she would actually do this. My husband was incorrect. During the entire summer of 1995 my husband did not know where his two boys were taken. His two sons at the time were age 10 and 8.5 years old.  

While my husband and I dated since early 1991, he was not allowed to call his own children who lived in the same area. My husband's ex-wife made their two boys pay her 10 cents for five minutes on the phone with their own father. She charged them more money if they talked to their own father longer than five minutes which was timed. It was not a long distance call. The New York State family court upheld my husband's ex-wife's choice to move the children away without any explanation. They just disappeared. Family court is biased to allow the abduction of marital children as long as it is the mother who is doing it.  

This is my husband's second marriage to me. His ex-wife has been married and divorced three times since they divorced in 1987.  

The children were caught in the middle and were legally taken away. These two boys were abducted. No one paid for the consequences but the children.  

It makes me upset that on television it is the man who abducts children. Few shows seldom investigate the great extent that the woman and mother takes an active role in preventing visitation by the father.  

Because a man regularly and consistently pays child support on time does not guarantee visitation. There is always an excuse. There is always a change. There is always something that makes it more and more difficult for men to see their own children. Some just give up the constant battle yet they are typically considered the "bad" guys. Father's are important in a child's life.  

I know several women who do this and it is wrong, wrong, wrong. It is wrong for the children. It ultimately hurts the kids.  

you state in your message that hutterites refuse to educate their children; i am guessing that you have never heard of BUHEP, the teacher education program and Brandon U that was specifically designed to educate HUTTERITE Teacher's to teach at colony schools. oh and my brother and sister-in-law both colony folk are well educated and my mother, who has her master's in education from Berkley(also huterite) who taught in the colony school until she retired a few years ago. turning away from the world does not mean lack of education, as evidenced by the highschool and college gradutes who return to their colonies to teach the next generation of kids. Rather it means exercising the right to choose when and how your children are exposed to potential harmful issues. as the mother of a three year, i wish tha i could ensure that she would not exposed to the harmful elements of public education today. while i do not follow my parents and brothers in the hutterite lifestyle, i long for the sense of security, peace and safety of the colony.   

I have to give these parents all the credit in the world to be able to stay in control as they did under these incredibly difficult situations. The mom that was shown with the missing girls, I don't know how she stayed so calm. I think that I would have clobbered the guy making demands on me to get MY kids back!!! UNBELIEVABLE!! I hope so much that they are able to find the kids so that the parents can get some piece of mind.  

When I was going through my divorce my ex time and again threatened me that he would take my daughter and I would never see her again. I remember feeling the pain that these parents must be feeling. At the age of 7 I taught my daughter how to call 911 and ask to speak to mommy if she ever missed me. It brought such pain and fear to me...and then the anger.  

Please Dr. Phil, help these parents find their kids. I would really like to see the preacher man get a good blast from somebody. Isn't he doing anything illegal that he could be punished for? He just got me crazy, in the name of religion! Malarky!!! Keep a mom from her kids. He's got some case.  

I don't normally write anything but this is just crazy!! Dr. Phil, please help them.