Topic : 08/30 Possessive People

LOL>...she was quiet the drama Queen...and yeah I had wondered about the xanax...!!! Too....And didn't her Mother state at the start of the show her daughter was very spoiled and constantly needed attention....????  If someone is popping pills like that I would be scared....!!!....and I believe she needed this attention as well...did you notice she faked crying about 5 times.....lol....Phaleeeeeseee.....I wish my mother was half that loving and protective of me and my Childern....lol.....she needs to get a grip and handle her life Like an adult....

I wonder how this grandmother would feel if her mother had treated her this way. The old saying, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", applies here.

     

    I dont know your whole story.  I cant imagine a daughter not crying at her own mothers funeral.  My mother did terrible things to me and I would still cry over her death.  I also cant imagine her grandchildren not be sad because she passed away.  I do know how it feels to have someone treat you like Claudias' mom treats her.  My mother-in-law does that to me.  Your mother died of a terrible thing and your happy thats shes gone.....it just makes me so mad that a child could be glorified that the women who brought them into this world is gone.  

 

  

I'm currently going through something with my controlling father similar to that of today's guests.  I'm 33 today and recently accepted a new job which will require me to move 2 hours away and stressing over telling my dad.  I'm a divorcee x2, raising 2 incredible children pretty much on my own and planning to marry a wonderful man next spring, that's why I'm moving.  I have always seemed to disappoint my father with whatever decisions I make and it always breaks my heart when he is upset with me.  When I got married the 2nd time he didn't speak to me for 2 weeks and then when I told him I was expecting my 2nd child it was 4 weeks that I didn't hear from him.  I don't tell him things going on in my life because if he didn't suggest it or doesn't approve of it then it was the wrong thing to do.  I wish he would show me support no matter the decisions that I make.  If, in the long run, they were the wrong ones then I'll learn from my mistakes because they are my decisions to make.  I haven't even told him I'm getting married because I've been apart from my husband for almost 2 years now and dad told me not long ago that I don't even need to go to eat with anyone, much less be dating.  The only time I have known that he was proud of something I done was when I graduated nursing school 10 years ago.  Everyone tells me how proud he is of me and that I'm the apple of his eye but he never conveys that to me himself.  Trust me, if I still lived in the same area he does he would come over whenever he wanted and come in without knocking.  I know this because that's why I moved an hour away, he was at my house daily and would enter without knocking.  Still to this day if he calls and I'm not home he keeps calling until I answer and gets mad if I don't tell him where I've been, who I went with and what we done.  Don't know what to do about this latest situation.  I've got to tell him soon, I start my new job in 2 weeks.  Any suggestions??????

I caught the end of tghe show today and thought I was watching/listening to myself and my mother. I own my 3 family house, my mom's on the first floor & I'm on the second. My whole life we have never gotten along and in recent years it has gotten out of control to the point where my brother and I had to meet with her therpist and I almost took a restraining order out on her. The only differance between the women on the show today and me is that I have stood up to my mother, I have told her over and over again to stay out of my life, she can not come & go when ever she wants, she is not my daughters mother she is her grandmother, that she had no respect for me or my privacy. She calls on me for everything, even if I tell her to leave me alone. She will keep calling me back and leave nasty messages on my voice mail because I will hang up on her or not answer the phone. She expectes me to do everything for her. even things she should be able to handle herself. I can't take it anymore, it is affecting my health and my daughter.

I know this isn't the point of the program, but I find it upsetting that everyone in Claudia's family AND Dr. Phil referred to Thomas taking care of the children alone as "baby-sitting".  Isn't that what we do with someone ELSE'S children? I thought watching our own kids was called "parenting"....

 Go to Ireland and don't give mom the address!  She'll agree to anything while she's on the show, but  when she gets back home, all bets are off.  You need to get away from her.

Bernice...I know you must be hurting from all this I would hope by this time you have gotten some help so you and you daughter ..can find a middle ground to be a Family....I really wished you Lives close to me i didn't have a Mother growing up....I Left home @ 15....Married 11 months later I had a son Michael and then a daughter   11 months after him....My mother had 5 kids ...my 48  year old brother still lives with her.....my mother could die and I will not be devastated!!!!.....I wish I had a Mother who showed me the attention...your daughter get...she does seem to be spoiled!!!!!...I hope you find someone to help you with the abuse you have been through.....you are not a bad person....you just need to understand....you daughter does not want you around....you really do have so much more to give and I hope you find someone who will welcome your love and help.....Please find a local Hospital and or Church and volunteer....you will be greatly LOVED!!!....you NEED some LOVE.....Huuuggggsss....from Me......Annette 

  

  

I just had to comment when I saw all of this. I'm about to be married in August, and my future mother in law is just a nightmare. She has worked on my fiance since the beginning of his life to manipulate him, scare him, and guilt him into doing what she wants him to. Luckily, at the beginning of the relationship I told him if we were going to be serious the relationship we had would be first priority; I haven't had hardly any trouble since (with him). She is constantly trying to run my wedding, and I'm growing to really dislike her. We have been house hunting a little, and I have refused to get anything inside her zip code. She is just poisoning my life. I almost threw calla lilies out of my wedding because she said she likes them. I know it's immature, but it stems from the frustration. She has made it clear in notes to my fiance that she wishes everything were the way it was before I was there. He is also preparing to convert to my religion, and I know that will send her over the edge. She told me she wanted us and her grandchildren at her church with her. Well, now that I've vented all of that I have to say I feel for the lady on the show. If I had her mother I would definately move farther away than Ireland. If anyone would like to give any advice to a girl whos words go in one ear and out the other with her mother in law please drop me a line. Thanks 

  

  

Ok here goes, I just watched the end of Dr. Phil. And I'd like your advice! My daughter and her husband lived in a different state then we did. When she would call me, she was always unhappy, because she said she wanted to move back home. (to her home state)  She missed being with her family. And wanted to be closer to us.   

One day I got a phone call from her, and she told me she was going to have a baby. Well, to make a long story short. I told her if her husband wouldn't move her back home, we would move out to her. I didn't want to be a long distant grandma.  

As soon as we got here. She laid down ground rules. Such as they like their privacy, and for us NOT to stop in uninvited. So we did just that. We only go if they ask us over.   

I cherish my granddaughter, and watch her on the weekends, so the kids can have some alone time.  

Now for the part that makes me sooooo sad. My daughter is a grown women, she is thirty years old. And a very intelligent women. They just had a new home built in another town. It took them about 8 months to have the home completed. In this time, my daughter has worried about day care for my granddaughter. I've tried to help her find day care by emailing her some names of women I know that watch children in her new area. One of the girls I work with also lives in this same town, and said many...many times We should build a house, and I could watch all of the women I work withs children as well as my granddaughter.  So I was going to quit my job, and baby sit all the kids. And of couse take care of my granddaughter for free to help them out. 

  

So my husband and I decided to take the plunge, and build out there as well. When my friend at work found out she wanted us to move into the empty lot next to her and her sister. I told her I couldn't do that, it would be too close to the kids, so we picked a lot about a mile and half away from them. 

  

 When we paid the down payment, we found out the kids would get a thousand dollar referral . We were so excited, I told my husband lets stop in a tell them about the money. (bad mistake)  

  

I was telling my daughter about the house we picked, and told her that we picked a lot not real close to them. SHE TURNED AND LOOKED AND ME AND MY HUSBAND, AND SAID ANY WHERE IN ''  TOWN" IS TOO CLOSE.  

Well, it hurt our feelings really bad. So we said goodbye and left.   

  

The next day, we she called me, I told her she hurt us, with that statement. Because we have always respected their request for privacy. She then told me off totally..she said we should just pack up and move back to where we came from. And in the next breath, she said I'm not a good grandmother. I asked her why she felt this way, and this is what she told me. 

  

 She said because I've canceled watching my granddaughter. I told her I'd pick her up for the weekend, but then called and canceled. Well, this is what I want your opinon on.  

  

We have lived here for 5 years, and in that time I DID call my daughter and tell her we couldn't pick up the baby..(which is 5 years old) because one time I had a fever of 103, and very sick. One time I forgot that I had a doctor's appointment, and I didn't want my granddaughter in the waiting room by her self. And the third time I ended up in the ER because a of headache, that would not go away.  

  

Now I could go on and on, but I won't .I just need to know what you think. She has not called me since this happened. And I feel as if I call her, I will never get the respect I deserve.