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Topic : Getting Pregnant

Number of Replies: 210
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:52:55 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you trying to conceive? Share your trials and successes with us.

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March 8, 2006, 8:16 pm CST

HI IRAE2006...

Quote From: lrae2006

I would love advice from anyone who can offer it.  I am a 22 year old single person, who is in the process of becoming pregnant.  I have always known that my true calling was to be a mother, and now that I am out of college and have a thriving business, I believe I am to the point in my life where I can offer a child all that he/she needs.  I am single, and I know that many people don't agree with having a baby without a father figure.  I would love to get married and have the perfect dad for my kids, but I am not going to sit around and wait on that.  I want to be a mother so bad I can't even stand it.  I know I will be a wonderful mother, and I won't be the sterotypical struggling single mom.  I can handle this, but many of my friends have their doubts and are worried about me.  I don't want to just go out and get pregnant by some random guy and risk STDs and not knowing his family's medical background.  I have decided to use a sperm bank.  This way I know it's safe for myself and the baby, and I know all of the father's background information incase I ever need access to it for my child's care.  The proccedure is this Friday, and I am confident that it's a good choice.  I pray I get pregnant the first time, but I know that sometimes it takes several times.  It's expensive, so of course it will be best for me if it's not a long hard process in the beginning.  I am just alone in this.  My family has no idea what I am doing because I know they would try to talk me out of it, and my friends think this is a bad decision.  There is not a doubt in my mind, so why do my friends keep trying to talk me out of it, even though I have told them time and again that they can't stop me from doing this.  I am an adult.  I may be kind of young to join the single moms club by choice, but this is what I truly want.  I just want other peoples' opinions on my situation, because I want to know how people will think about my decision.  Do I tell people the truth, or do I pretend I just got knocked up?  I almost think that would be more acceptable.  It's sad, but true.  I just want this baby to know that I wanted him or her so much that I went to extremes to have them.  I don't want my child to ever question that they were brought into this world loved and wated.  That is why I feel the truth is best, but I am afraid of the reaction I will get when my family finds out I actually signed up and paid to become a single mom.  Any advice or opinion you have would be greatly appriciated.  Thank you!  :)   

I will not tell you that you are doing the wrong thing, as so many people have said that to you. All I will say to you is, if you have truly thought long and hard about this and this is what you feel you need then go for it. 

 

Once you have your baby your life will never be the same, meaning that once your baby has come into the world that child will be depended on you for most of his/her life. And as long as you know what you have a head of you, as a single Mum well then, what have you got to lose. 

 

Oh and please tell your family of your wishes, you just never know they just might support you, but if you don't tell them what you are doing, then it could backfire on you. 

 

Good Luck and TAKE CARE, LOVE KELLY. 

 
March 12, 2006, 4:43 pm CST

hey

Quote From: haleypnz

No I defintly understand where you are coming from ..  do you have a hotmail address and msn?? where could have a talk together online. 

sorry i haven't been on for a while email me at jenn2531@hotmail.com 

  

 
March 27, 2006, 11:53 am CST

I teach Special Education children and my husband thinks we will have a special needs child.

I don't know what to say or do about this. I really want children (we have been married 6 years) but i love my job and don't want to give it up either. Suggestions?
 
March 27, 2006, 3:38 pm CST

Why not?

I understand why people wanted children in the old days, but why now? Yes, I'm callow, but it'd be interesting to know what others' opinions on the matter are - maybe I'm missing something big here.

 - sr
 
March 31, 2006, 11:25 pm CST

facts...

Quote From: vwwife21

I don't know what to say or do about this. I really want children (we have been married 6 years) but i love my job and don't want to give it up either. Suggestions?
If your husband thinks you will have a special needs child, give him the facts! Unless it is in your family or you are over 35, there is only the slightest chance that you will give birth to one. If it is in your family or his family history, let him know that although it would be tough at times, special needs children are extremely precious and can mature to lead very independent lives. Research it and give him the facts! Men seem to do better with cold, hard facts rather than just feelings! Hope it works out for you! Children are such a blessing whether they are special needs or not!
 
March 31, 2006, 11:25 pm CST

?

Quote From: srsrsr

I understand why people wanted children in the old days, but why now? Yes, I'm callow, but it'd be interesting to know what others' opinions on the matter are - maybe I'm missing something big here.

 - sr
why not?
 
April 2, 2006, 10:05 am CDT

Get to a fertility clinic right away!

Quote From: raphael754

Hi, I'm recently re-married. I have a 9 yr old daughter from my previous marriage. My new hubby has never had any children and tho , loves my daughter as his own, would love to have a child. He is 38 yrs old. I'm 44 yrs old.  I am so worried that I'm to old to concieve. We've been trying since August but nothing so far! Any thoughts?

Friend, I am 42, a kind, loving, educated professional, financially stable, etc., but I haven't met Mr. Right. At age 38 I started researching fertility because I needed to know the facts - I was considering having a child on my own via donor (which I decided against - I want the whole package - husband, etc.)  Every article I've read, and I've read many, says that fertility decreases dramatically after age 40 for women. and by 45 most women can no longer conceive with their own eggs, because a woman's eggs become too old and the rate of miscarriage becomes too high. Is there a chance you could conceive and carry to term, yes. Is it likely, no. It is very important for you to get to a fertility specialist - get one recommended by your OB/GYN. There are specific factors which can decrease your chances of conceiving, being extremely over or under weight, smoking and others. You need to see the specialist and get educated. It is not impossible - we don't know what God has in store for any of us - but the success rate at your age is not high. I wish you the best and envy you having one daughter... 

Leslie in Illinois 

 
April 2, 2006, 10:11 am CDT

just want a loving family...

Quote From: srsrsr

I understand why people wanted children in the old days, but why now? Yes, I'm callow, but it'd be interesting to know what others' opinions on the matter are - maybe I'm missing something big here.

 - sr

Personally, I want to have children because I want to experience the joys and challenges of being a mother and raising children. I want to give to my children all the love, guidance and experience I have to offer. I want to share the experience with a husband I love - getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth. 

  

I am a successful, well-adjusted, 42-year-old educated professional who has traveled the world, sewed my oats, found meaningful volunteer work and now I want the next part of my life. 

 
April 4, 2006, 8:13 am CDT

depressed

Hi my name is Melanie, and I have a problem carrying a baby. I need help with carrying a child. In 2003 I got pregnant and found out my third month that I had an Eptopic pregancy. I never heard of it before. But I was TOO far along to just abort the pregancy by a shot, so I had to have surgery to remove the Fetus. I was so devastated by the loss. I was wanted the baby so much! SO two years later I got pregnant again, but this time I had MANY blood work done to be sure I didn't have another Eptopic pregancy, but unfortunatly I did have another one, but this time I was only a month or so, so I was able to get a shot to rid of the pregancy. I did however ask if there was away to save the fetus but the doctor said "NO!" Again I was really upset. This past February I got pregnant again and had a misscarriage. I'm so depressed at this point. Anytime I see anyone with a baby all I do is cry. Anytime I hear of someone I know that find's out they are having a baby REALLY upsets me. I just don't understand why me?!
 
April 5, 2006, 6:10 pm CDT

Seeing a Specialist Can Pay Off

Quote From: gottadance

Friend, I am 42, a kind, loving, educated professional, financially stable, etc., but I haven't met Mr. Right. At age 38 I started researching fertility because I needed to know the facts - I was considering having a child on my own via donor (which I decided against - I want the whole package - husband, etc.)  Every article I've read, and I've read many, says that fertility decreases dramatically after age 40 for women. and by 45 most women can no longer conceive with their own eggs, because a woman's eggs become too old and the rate of miscarriage becomes too high. Is there a chance you could conceive and carry to term, yes. Is it likely, no. It is very important for you to get to a fertility specialist - get one recommended by your OB/GYN. There are specific factors which can decrease your chances of conceiving, being extremely over or under weight, smoking and others. You need to see the specialist and get educated. It is not impossible - we don't know what God has in store for any of us - but the success rate at your age is not high. I wish you the best and envy you having one daughter... 

Leslie in Illinois 

Seeing a specialist can pay off. My fiance and I have a 10 month old daughter and have been trying to conceive again since she was born. Unfortuately with no success. I have just turned 34 and my partner is 35. Nothing major in the age department but didn't want to have too big a gap between our children. After a month of not too invasive testing, we found out yesterday that our little girl is 1 in a billion! The chances of us getting pregnant again are so slim that we are now about to undertake ICSI infertility treatment because my fiances sperm count is so low. This is now our only option of conceiving. Yes it has been and will continue to be expensive. But how much do you pay??? I hope that in about 8 or so weeks I will be one of the lucky ones telling you all about our new baby on the way. Leslie you are right. Only God knows what is in store for each of us. I just pray that this treatment I am about to undertake is successful.
 
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