Topic : I'm Pregnant!

I have a 21 month old boy who  is used to be my little baby, and I am not having a second baby in July. I am terrified of having 2 kids. My son can be a little demon at times, he tends to bite other children.. and I'm very afraid fro my second childs safety. I don't know what to do.....

I have tried buying him a doll even though my husband hated that idea, to help him learn to be nice to a smaller child.. he seems to be doing well with it but I'm still terrified...

Any Suggestions anyone????

 Hello I was just wondering if there were any other mothers with large families out there! I am expecting my fifth baby June/July of this year. I have a 12 year old, 8year old, 4 year old and a 9 month old. This will actually be the sixth child in our family as my husband has one daughter with his ex wife who is 10 but she doesn't live with us she lives back in the US. I'm nervous about having this baby so far from home and my family and friends and adding another member to the family I was wodering how do you deal with your large families, what can I expect? and etc...

yes that is correct.  I am 17 weeks pregnant with my 5th child, but our whole blended family together qualifies as a "party in a van" whenever we have everyone and  go anywhere.  We have kids from 16 to 10 months, and the rest are in between.  My oldest is 10.  One way I deal with my large family is to delegate responsibilities among the group and dont do everything by yourself.  the 10 year old can find the 10 month old some socks, the 12 year old can help with dinner, ect.  Next, be ORGANIZED.  I am a slobby mess by nature, but I trained myself to be an organized mom because it is no fun searching for anyone's totebag in the morning.  I dont have time for the luxury of being slobby.   The biggest challenge we have faced thus far is the exs.  They can be a real pain in the tush.  But, we all make choices and mistakes and that is the consequence in our instance.  But the reward is one awesome, big fat fun family, and I wouldnt change it for the world.

 ahh organization hmm something I need to try! :-) We are a blended family as well my oldest three are with my ex (yuck) but right now we are overseas so I don't have to deal with his and his current wifes drama thank goodness!  I have problems with my oldest two not wanting to listen to their stepfather which can make it hard to do things at times. Once this baby is born we'll have a total of six kids between us, my hubby has a daughter with his ex wife but she's back in the states. Thanks so much for  your reply!

Hello everyone!! My name is Sarah and I'm now 23 weeks pregnant. Long story short for those who dont know me..my pregnancy was planned with who i thought i would spend the rest of my life with and then caught him cheating. The question i still cant get an answer for is what ( when the time comes) do i tell my little girl when she asks about her daddy? He's a 32 year old man who has four other kids and has never taken on any responsibility. He's a drug addict and an alcoholic..and for some stupid reason..i thought i was going to change him..yea right. He's a real charmer and puts on great shows..but i know that when this baby is born..he'll be there maybe for the first couple hours then split. I'm glad we're no longer together..but  what about my poor little girl. I hear that Lindsay Lohan song, Confessions of a broken heart, and i think, thats going to be my little one asking for the love of her father and being let down time and time agian. What do i say? I know when my parents split i was 13, i understood a whole lot more..im so confussed and so dreading the day when she says daddy for the first time and then asks about him. Any advise would be great. Thanks..Sarah

You might as well answer with the truth, however, you can tailor the truth to the child's age.  I certainly wouldn't overwhelm the kid.  The child is not a mistake and for this child you are probably truly grateful, therefore there was no mistake in having the kid, however her father has made some choices that you simply can't tolerate and such choices are not compatable with the lifestyle you have chosen.  (sanity) 

  

 (Mine told me I was 4 months pregnant and so would have to put up with him and girlfriends because I couldn't leave, or I could have an abortion.  The next time we spoke I was several states away and my kid was 18months old.) 

  

Just play it by ear and remember that this kid is a wonderful beautiful and absolutely lovely kid, so spiritualy speaking you didn't make a mistake, just forgive 'daddy' and remember the lesson the next time you get hot. 

  

  

  

These days I hear alot about pms and morning sickness.  You'd think a woman's lot is to suffer.   

  

Well, maybe it was because I was active or maybe just didn't have time for the stuff.  I never had cramps, in fact very few of us gals who worked with horses did.  I can remember my friend and all too often myself riding our horse into the stall because we had just realized we forgot to count and wanted to dismount in private where we could tie our jackets around our butts until we could make it to the facilities. 

  

As for morning sickness, I heard a lot about it and had my crackers ready.  At about 6 months of pregnancy I asked my doctor when I was going to have morning sickness and he stood there and laughed.   He told me I would have been finished with it by then.  With my next kid I galloped horses until I was eight months pregnant and she was two weeks late and 7 pounds.  The only one who hurt was the guy who had to toss me up on his horses.  At 7 months I was asked out because the guy simply thought I was putting on a little weight. 

  

OK, now most of you who suffer are probably wanting to throttle me by now, but maybe you could look at your lifestyle, it wouldn't hurt anyway. 

  

  

  

  

Thanks so much for your comment..it helps to know im not the only one this sorta thing happens too. Thanks again!!Sarah

Hi Sarah. I just wanted to let you know that it's not whether your baby girl has a daddy or not, it's how she's raised.  

My father left my mom and I when I was only 2 years old. Because oe being so young, I had no idea what had happened. When I started school and noticed the other kids had mommies and daddies, of course I had questions. But my mom always said that was just how some people lived, with a daddy and a mommy and some people just had a mommy and some just had a daddy. She also explained that my daddy loved me but he was very busy. That worked until I was about 9 years old when I wondered where my daddy was and if he did love me then why didn't he ever come to see me.   

My mom had always left it open for my dad to contact me but he never had. It was then that I decided to contact him. He seemed excited and agreed to meet us for lunch. I was so excited after that because I hadn't seen him in 7 years. We had lunch and then he asked if he could take me out that weekend to the roller skating rink. We planned to meet eachother there at the rink. That weekend, I waited at the roller rink for 3 hours by myself and finally called my mom. He never showed. After that I was so heart broken that i didn't talk to him for another 6 years. My mom was also extremely upset. After that I just thought my dad was a dead beat and that I was better off without him. When I was 15 years old, I went to Mexico on a missions trip and needed a notorized letter from him so that I could get a passport. By that time I had grown up a little and felt a little sorry for my dad because of the way he led his life and that he was missing mine. When my mom called him for the letter, he asked to talk to me. I agreed and he said he wanted to reenter my life. I then told him during that conversation that I wasn't ready to talk to him on the phone because of how hurt I was by the last time. We then started writing letters back and forth. I explained how hurt I was and because of how he had missed my whole life that he wasn't ever going to be my dad. He was only my biological father. I explained that the time that I needed him most, he missed. After quite a few letters, I let him come see me. He bought me a cell phone and new clothes. A few months later, he basically disappeared off the face of the earth. He quit his work, he no longer lived at his old address(he used to live about 4 hours from me), he stopped paying my cell phone bill, and his phone was disconnected. For all I knew, he was dead. Unfortunately, I was used to his flakiness by that time.  

I'm now almost 21, married, and pregnant with our first son. My dad died July 17th 2005. He had started using drugs again and was an avid alcoholic. He died of a heart attack ironically in the town where I lived until I got married. My dad had 3 other daughters from two mothers and did the same thing to them as he did to me. My sisters and everyone else found out right away, but since I had moved no one that knew him knew where I was or how to get ahold of my mom. I found out 4 months later. I was shocked at first and then pissed off. I was so angry that he was selfish even when he died. He never really tried to get to know us girls and was only concerned with his own life.  

Even though everything he put me through was heart breaking, I'm so glad I went through it. I wouldn't be who I am today without all of it. One of my favorite sayings is "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger" and I am such a strong person because of it. It's sad that my dad was so selfish because he missed out on so much. Out of four beautiful little girls, 3 have grown into amazing women, and the youngest (my sister Karli) is still a young teenager developing into a strong young woman. If there was only one good thing my dad did in this world, it was to help bring 4 very strong young women into it.  

So don't spend your time worrying about how your daughter will turn out, instead spend your time helping her grow. It will be harder for you because you have to be the mother and the father for her. She will hate you at times for it, but she will always know that you love her and that you were only trying your best. Always make sure that you asure her that she does't need a daddy. She is beautiful, healthy, strong, loving, kind, and loved by so many people. She doesn't need a daddy to be those things.  

Well, I'm sorry this ended up being so long, but I hope it was helpful. Good luck but don't think you need it! 

sincerely, 

Megan   

Just want to say thank you so much to everyone who's responded and emailed me about my question. I think that with other peoples advice and experiences and some of my own, I'll be more than able to explain to my lillte girl about her dad. I'm so grateful for everyones imput, thanks again, God bless. Love Sarah