Topic : Infertility

I hope I can help you.  As far as the comment from your soulmate keep thinking positive and I am worthy of a child and you would be a wonderful mother.  I am sure you are worthy of a child and would be a wonderful mother, but unfortunately thinking positive may not fix the problem.  My husband and I have been through the whole infertility issue with a lot of emotion rollercoastering and no one that understood where we were coming from because they have never been through it.  Unfortunately after two miscarriages and insurance coverage ended, like you money was not flowing and we had to make the difficult decision to say enough is enough and we decided to be a childless couple.  We could not afford the cost of the next drug or IVF or adoption.  Our only options we another fertility drug (stronger than Clomid) not covered by insurance or a donor egg also not covered by insurance or adoption.  I personally felt after finding the man I wanted to married I wanted the child to be ours and not a donor egg (which is the safest way for me) or adoption.  I love him and wanted it be our love creating a baby.  His concern was my going through another miscarriage was too much for him to bare.  Plus, what if after being on the next infertility drug it did not work and then we had put out extra money we did not have and have more heartbreak.  We decided if it happens it happens and if we have another miscarriage we will have to prevent all future pregnacies and we are not strong enough to continue this road.  This has totally destroyed our sex life and that as ended for months.  We still have a strong marriage and have no plans of ending it, but for me I am unable to have sex life as I feel all the pain and am scared all over again. 

Now to help you.  Please see a Reproductive Endrocrinologist do not waste your time on a ob/gyn.  They will do all kinds of blood work on you and your partner.  They may perform the following tests on you (HSG) Hysterosalpingography an x-ray to show the inside of your utuerus and tubes.  Transvaginal Ultrasound to check the ovaries and uterus. Hysteroscopy to see inside your uterus and correct minor problems or get a sample of tissue for study to see if another procedure is needed. Laparoscopy looking for pelvic problems such as endometriosis or scar tissue.  If they decide to put you on Clomid again they will do blood work throughout the whole thing to see if you ovulated, how well you ovulated and will do ultrasounds on you to see when you should have intercourse whether naturally or through artificial insemination.  My doctor only wanted me on Clomid for three months along with another drug you inject 24 hours before intercourse or insemination..  The first pregnancy was natural for us after I went through a corrective surgery on my uterus.  After that miscarriage I got pregnant the first month on Clomid after the proper waiting time only to find out I lost that child also.  Then after that miscarriage I went on Clomid for two more months to no avail.  We did artificial insemination for all but the first time.  The other fertility drug was expensive with no guarantee it would work and I would have to be on the injectible drug and another drug to assist the ovaries to get to the right size.  Not including progesterone suppositories to help sustain a pregancy if one occured taken the day after  the insemination.  I was on progesterone all pregnancies and the first time I had to be on progesterone and estrogen.

Please check with you soul mate to make sure if things do not workout as planned you both can accept that and have normal and happy life together.  You will find unless you know someone who personally went through this people will not understand and will make stupid comments trying to help you that only aggravates you.  Many  people told us don't stress out about it will happen,  totally clueless about the fact my ovaries are aged much older than my chronological age even after enlightening them they still attributed it to stress.  We also heard comments that if you really wanted a baby you would adopt or go through what ever it takes.  Again clueless to all of the emotional baggage that a couple goes through.  It is hard enough going through life living paycheck to paycheck without heartless comments as that. I feel it would be foolish to not consider the financial strain this has on you as well as the emotional strain it has on you. People only think the emotional strain should be involved, but that is not simply not the case.  Let them go through infertility and miscarriages and a sexless marriage and see how they feel after all of that about going into debt further for possible heartache all over again and bills to remind them month after month of a failed pregnancy or no pregnancy.  Not to mention the weight gain I am unable to lose that is also a daily reminder of what was and is no longer. We still have bills to pay for our infertility and it is a emotion reminder of all the heartache we went through. All infertility options are a very emotion decision that ony you and your partner can make together without outside opinions on what is right for you.

I hope I was helpful and I hope you have a better turnout than my husband and I. 

I wish you the best.

I am so upset with the responses you got from you own sister and mother.  To tell you the God is punishing you is insane.  I went through infertility and you totally beat yourself up wondering why you can't have children yet others can with no difficulty.  I myself thought God hated me and that was a terrible thing for me to think, but I did.  Then I had to accept the fact that God has a plan for me and don't what it is and I don't know why he won't let my husband and I have a baby.  Your Mom should be helping you deal with this vs saying to keep it quiet.  The problem is it is difficult enough to deal with and there are no support groups (at least in my area) to deal with this and to keep it quiet makes you feel like a freak as you put it.  If more people would talk about it then maybe we would not feel so small in the world.  The only way to deal with this is to talk about it to caring people,  cry about it, scream and get angry about it.  Hopefully the doctor's office can listen to you and help you deal with this and if not at least refer you to a psychologist to help you through this difficult time.  That way you have a professional who should be compassionate and understanding and help you figure out what is right for you if you decide to go with a donor egg or adoption when you are ready.  As far as you mother mentioning to keep it quiet you go ahead and share it with whomever you choose after all it is your body and you cannot change what is fact and you have nothing to be ashamed about because there are plenty of us out there in your same shoes.  If she cannot deal with that well than that is her problem and not yours. 

I hope you find the compassionate people you deserve and if you must distance yourself from your sister and Mom for awhile until  you sort through this--then that is what you must do.  You look after yourself and be proud of who you are childless or not.

I too was just told I have PCOS as well as Fiboride Tumors on my Utris.

I had been doing to the Clomid for 3 months before I seen a specialist, I feel defeated, by the time I have this PCOS under control, I may be too old?

Iam 36 now, and my Doctor's feel I need birth control, or other hormones first to see if cysts or tumors desolve? EEEEHHHAAAARRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

i was wondering if i could possibly have this . i have read the symptoms and tons of tesimonials and it sounds so much like what i have been going thru for the last 7 years ..and it is getting worse and the only cure i have found so far is a tubal reversal.

  my tubal was done 7 years ago after i had my 4th child .i did not want it done i had plans to get the implants or go back on the pill .but my boyfriend of 7yrs (the father of 2 of my children ) convenced the dr that i didn't want any more children or need anymore .so while i was under alot of stress (b/f threatened my life if i didn't sign the papers ) i signed them.i regret that day so much not a day goes by i don't think about it .and how it has ruined my life.

  but now i am so depressed all the time .i cry because of this .because i have found the most wonderful man in the world and we both want a child together but we can not afford the surgery .it is so expensive.

  since i found out about P.T.L.S. it makes me want it more .i am so tired of the mood swings the painful periods .everything !

I'll be turning 40 this year.  I always thought I would "freak-out" if I turned 40 without having a baby.

My husband asked me out back in 1997, I said NO WAY!  Years passed we met up again in the city park.  I was walking off the pain of a divorce, he was playing with his kids. He had grown into a fine man.  This time I said yes. He was fighting for custody of his boys (1,2&3). In the middle of the hearings the birth mother just stopped showing up. Abandoned them. Today we are married and I am the only mother the boys know.

I know my story is special.  I am blessed.  Keep the faith, children can come into your life in many ways.

Think about adoption. It doesn't have to be expensive.  Become a foster parent, many states will pay the adoption fees. At least check into it.  It's going to cost about $2,500.00 to adopt the boys.  We are a middle class family doing the best we can. Someday we will have the extra money. It doesn't matter, they are still my babies. 

Oh yea....I'm not "freaking-out" either.

Hello Everyone!  This is my first time posting on this board and I decided to post on this subject first since it is something I am personally dealing with.

My DF and I have been trying for almost 2 years to have a child together with no success.  Yes we started early on trying to have a child together...within 6 mths of beginning to date each other exclusively and we are not married yet although we plan to get married within the next year.  People Judge us because we are not married but the way we feel is being able to care for a child and provide a loving home for the child should not be dependant on a peice of paper saying the parents are married.  

We tried for a year and a half before I went to see a doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS and put me on clomid for 2 cycles.  No luck there so she ended up sending me to a speiclaist...who after some tests...told me I have some blockage that will have to removed and that once it is removed I should be able to concieve.  This was back in Febuary and i was overjoyed thinking finally something that might cause my dream to come true was going to happen for me.  The next day my monthly visitor showed up and for the first time in awhile I was not upset over its arrival...I now knew why I was not getting PG and i knew something would be done to help me in the near future.  What that help consists of is surgey in which a telescope looking thing is put in through my belly button and used to take pictures and give them an idea of how to remove the blockage which they would then do.

A week after my monthly visitor I get a call from the docotors office...telling me the surgery has to be done within 7 days of my monthly visitor and since it was too late that month...since I told her I had had it the week before...I was to call the following month when it started.

Only it never came...now I am going on my 3rd month of NO montly visitor...and I have recenly had an overwhelming need to eat mexican food in particular tacos, I am tired alot, and I do get waves of nausea although I have not vomited.  I do not know if I could possibly be PG and  about to realize my dream of having a child of my own or if my body and mind are playing tricks on me.  I have heard how some women want to be preganant so bad that they can actually cause themse;ves to have the symptoms yet not be pregnant. 

With the blockage and all still there I had about a 2 % chance of getting preganant who knows maybe miracles do happen. 

My Df who is also one of my dearest friends...and I look forward very much to the day when we are blessed with a child together..if its meant to be we have no doubt it will happen. 

I have known my DF for 10 years but due to circumstances...both being with other people at the time...we kept our realtionship as friends only over the years...even when we started to care for each othr as more than friends...we kept our feelings hidden and kept on with the firends only relationship we had.  Then 2 years ago we were both single and we got to talking and we decided that now was our time...our chance to give "us" a try and see what happened.  The last 2 years have been the happiest of my life and i am sure he feels the same...there is nothing like being with the one who is not only the love of your life but also your best friend. 

He does have 2 beautiful daughters who I am blessed with having in my life...they are such a joy and so sweet, kind, and loving and readily accepted me as being their stepmommy...thats what they call me now...even though we arent married and I am not legally their stepmom yet.  In their eyes...I am their stepmommy and thats all that matters to me.  These 2 girls are well adjusted and very smart....they tell everyone they are lucky because they have 2 moms and 2 dads who love them and care about them.  Nothing truer could be spoken...we do all love and care about them.

welllll time for me to let my 2 "babies" inside they have been outside for about 30 min now and they want in.  By "babies" I mean my 6 month old grerman shepard and my 9 wk old shepard/husky mix.