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Topic : Infertility

Number of Replies: 433
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Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:55:14 pm
Author : dataimport
After making the decision to get pregnant, you find you are unable to conceive. Sound familiar? Share your infertility journey with us.

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June 25, 2008, 7:29 pm CDT

Infertility

Hi everyone,

 

I don't talk about this, its my first time really saying it cause it hurts too much.  I don't know if I fit in here cause the reason I am infertile is because of age and not much else.  I'm in my mid-40s.  I spent my life taking care of other people.  I took care of my younger sister, then my grandmother, then my cousin, then my family when my mum became sick, then my father who had a stroke and mum who is a diabetic, now I am raising my sister's children. 

 

I have never had a chance to live my own life.  I have never been on a date, last time I travelled I was 11, I've seen nothing, been nowhere, just pretty much spent my life in servitude.  I love these people but the sacrifice I am finding has been too great.  Sometimes it feels like I handed myself over to be slaughtered, didn't even bleep about it either.  Its not entirely their fault, I suffered from anxiety, I was a homebody, I made my faulty choices to stay the way I am.  Stupid choices based on fear and not knowing the price and always expecting that something would happen to change things instead of making the changes.  Changes frightened me.  I suppose I became comfortable in my self-imposed prison, as much as anyone can be living in a prison. 

 

There was always time to change, but at 40, I knew it was over.  I pretended that I didn't know but I knew; I knew that it was too late to turn my life around.  I would never become a mother.  I don't tell them this of course, but when mother's day comes around and my niece and nephew buy me a mother's day gift or card, it actually hurts a bit.  I love them dearly, but they aren't my children.  I don't regret stepping in and raising them, but I couldn't deal with any more, so I chose to not have mine so as to raise my sister's.  I had my chance for IVF, but I just didn't have the energy to take care of any more children.

 

What can I say, game over.  The only thing I can wish for now is that if you are reading this, learn from it and don't waste time and don't take anything or anyone for granted. 

 

Sorry about the long post.

 
June 26, 2008, 8:27 pm CDT

Infertility

I am 35 and for the past 5 years had been TTC...clomid, laperoscopy, herbal medicine...you name it. I achieved pregnancy twice in 5 years and lost both at 12 weeks. I was devastated and getting pregnant again CONSUMED my life. Utterly comsumed it. My doctor said the misacrriages and unexplained infertility were just bad luck but I KNEW something was not right. For  over a year I investigated it myself, I demanded specific bloodwrok and to see different specialists. I'm sure everyone thought I was mad, but I didn't care. Eventually I found out I had positive anticardio lipins...basically my blood was thick and sticky. This caused my miscarriages and infertility. I started on aspirin and we tried again to concieve.

 

Months  passed by, then a year and I thought I was going to go insane. Finally my husband and I decided to try our final step, IVF. We had the councelling, blood tests, payed up etc. I felt a HUGE relief! I almost physically and mentally felt I was passing on the problem to someone else to "fix". It was a great feeling! Well we were to start the treatment in 2 weeks, and what do you think happened before that???? Yes, I got pregnant! I was beyond knowing how to control my emotions. We later found out we were having identical twins! I continued through the pregnancy on the aspirin and our babies just made it as they had developed a dangerous syndrome that would have taken them away from us 24 hours later. But they made it!

 

I completely understand the consumption of wanting a baby so bad. My advice is to try ALL avenues, don't take the doctors word as gospel if you feel there is something not quite right.  I used to HATE it when people said that it would happen 'one day' and to just 'relax'...but I had to get to that point of no return myself, to finally give in and let the consuming blackness escape. Baby dust to you all.

 
June 28, 2008, 7:14 am CDT

Thanks!

Quote From: DrPhilBoard1

Perhaps it was the "Baby Dilemmas" show: http://drphil.com/shows/show/312/
 
Shady Grove Fertility was featured on the show, and this is the program they offer: Under the center's shared-risk program, couples will receive four chances to become pregnant. If they still haven't conceived at the end of that time, they will be given a full refund.
Thanks so much for the info....I thought I remembered something like that.
 
July 5, 2008, 10:19 am CDT

Starting IVF

We started our shots on the 3rd of july so we are underway with our second round of IVF.Due to the fact that I have had 4 ectopic pregnancies so on the 4th one they took my tubes being it was spliting the tube.  We have a 4 year old son and both my husband and I want him to have a sibling. My husband is in the military so scheduling this was no small feat. We want him to be here for both the conception and the birth so hopefully that will happen. The old saying is either they are there for the conception or the birth?

 

This is kind of bitter sweet because the last time I only told my mom and she was my rock. She called me everyday to just see how I was doing. Now this time she is in heaven and the phone only rings with people calling me about everyday things.  I have a short time to go and with all the prayers hopefully we will be able to give our son a sibling. We can't afford to do it again we paid 15,000.00 for our son and we just paid 13,000.00. Seems crazy when I sit at the military hospital and watch these families go by with 3 or 4 children. They did it for free everything was free conception to birth. I wouldn't change it for the world though because I have learned alot of lessons through my infertiltiy . The biggest one is DO NOT LAY DOWN, take your infertility in to your own hands. I did .

 
August 11, 2008, 5:28 pm CDT

feeling insane

Hi I am from Australia and I am 55 I have been married for 24 years and my husband was married before and had a son. He was 2 1/2 when we met and 4 when we married. So I have brought him up as my own as his birth mother hasn't seen him since he was 5. Her choice. I was 31 when I got married and my husband was 28. We started trying for a child of our own after 6months and I gave up work for 8 years.

We had 17 attempts at different fertility treatments IVF, Gift etc. With out success. It was a very trying time as back then I have to travel for 3/4 of a hour for my injections and blood tests. How we stayed together I really don't know. He is the most unsympathetic person I know. He just didn't understand why I was so emotional all the time. Don't get me wrong I am very great full for my "son" as some women don't even get the chance to bring a child up. He is a lovely man and is now 28, unfortunately he has married a very nice lady but she has mental problems. Which is a problem in it self.

I just find it very hard most days and cry all the time grieving for the child I never had. It is just to hard to explain to my friends who have all have children how I feel about not know what would be like to feel a baby inside you and to give birth to a child. I feel if I died tomorrow no one would care and that it would be the end as my blood will not be in anyone to carry it on. I know this sounds strange but that is how I feel.

My husband can't understand why I feel like this but its OK for him as his blood will live with his son

I am just so depressed all the time. Some days I can cope but others I just don't want to be here anymore.

I know I wouldn't do anything to myself but it is just the way I feel. Is there any one else out there that understands where I am coming from. If so I would love to hear form you

 
September 12, 2008, 10:26 pm CDT

im having problems getting pregnant

hi..im hoping someone else on here is or has gone through what im going through.  my husband and i have been  for a year to give our 14thmonth old a sibling.  however i cant seem to get pregnant.  I havent had any regular periods since i had my son..so the doctor thought that was what was wrong.  i havent had a period in 2 1/2 months and really want to have another baby.  Does anyone have any answers for me or information that may be useful to me?
 
November 23, 2008, 3:23 pm CST

11 Years Infertile Then I GOT PREGANT

 I was told that I never could have a baby again. I had a baby in 1990 then I wanted more children after him.  I had had 4 surgeries, ovarian disease, adhesions covering my ovaries, 2 yrs of artificial inseminations with injections and still came up empty handed. I was told that the problem was me & that I could never conceive. It caused a lot of grief in my marriage and my husband resented me.  In Julyof 2000 I had already filed for divorce from my hubby and started a affair. We had sex the 1st time and having no clue I could never get over a bladder infection. The Doctor called in 2 rounds of antibiotics for me then he made me come in when it wouold not clear up. Without my knowledge they ran a pregancy test on me. The DR came back in the room and asked me if I could have children and I said NO according to the specialist. She then asked I had a choice of a boy or girl what would I pick. I told her that is not funny please give me my medicine so I can go home. She told me that congratulations YOU ARE PREGANT. I passed out from shock.  Knowing I could not tell my soon to be ex I went home so thrilled I told. He went ballistic. I then miscarried 2 weeks later. Then I got pregant again.. HAD a rough pregancy and had my god given gift 8/2001.    SO when women stop worrying about it and wait for God to do his magic it will happen according to his plan and timing. IS how I got pregant wrong.. The answer is yes, BUT I love my child and would not trade humility, embarassment, no friends, or anything for my precious gift.
 
February 15, 2009, 7:13 am CST

Infertility

Hello everyone!  I'm 24 years old and me and my husband have been battling infertility for almost 5 years.  This has been a very long journey for us both emotionally and financially.  I have been pregnant 5 times, all of which were unsuccessful.  I have had four ectopic pregnancies and one miscarriage.  I lost my right fallopian tube in Sept 2007 due to my third ectopic pregnancy.  I've had every test done that could possibly be done.  My left fallopian tubed appeared to be ok.  My fertility specialists decided to let me try one more time on my own and if it didnt work this time, we would move on to IVF.  So in Jan 2008 we proceeded to try one more time and on the fourth cycle of clomid  in July 2008 we got pregnant.  But unfortunately this was another ectopic pregnancy.  Its not been almost a year since our last lost and we all know how expensive fertility procedures can be.  We are desperate to have a family.  My and husband and I both have good jobs, but how will we ever be able to afford it?  My fertility specialist says that I am the perfect canidate for IVF.  All of my lab results, hsg results, ultrasound results, and laparascopy results have all come back PERFECT! Even my husbands SA results were PERFECT!  Any advice on where I should go from here?

 
February 25, 2009, 6:54 pm CST

I want 2 more kids

HI CAN SOME ONE HLEP ME  I WANT 2 HAVE TWO KIDS OR WHAT EVER GOD BLESS ME WITH BUT I FIND OUT I HAVE BLOCK TUBES  AND I WILL NEED TO HAVE IVF BUT I DON'T HAVE ALL THAT MONEY  THAT IS SO MUCH MONEY TO COME UP WITH DO ANY ONE OUT THERE NO WERE WE CAN GET IT AFORDABLE PLEASE LET US NO
 
March 26, 2009, 8:15 pm CDT

costs

How much has everyone paid for a cycle of IVF?  I know I want to do it in the USA but I do not know what state would be cheapest.  Also, how long does it take from your very first visit until you are actually pregnant.  I know everyone is probably a little different but just an average.

 

Thanks!

 
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