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Topic : Infertility

Number of Replies: 433
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:55:14 pm
Author : dataimport
After making the decision to get pregnant, you find you are unable to conceive. Sound familiar? Share your infertility journey with us.

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October 10, 2005, 1:17 pm CDT

Emotional Rollercoaster

  My husband and I have been trying to have a baby now for YEARS but it feels like a lifetime. I have 2 older children, and he  "thinks " he has a child. ( but thats another topic )  

  I go back and forth on taking our longing for a child to another level. Our insurance isnt the best in the world, it will ocver all testing to find out "IF " theres anything wrong, but if the docs find anything our insurance wont cover anything tohelp us get pregnant. I have made and cancled Dr.s appts . so many times its crazy........who knows maybe I am crazy.. or just making myself  crazy.... 

 

   

 
October 21, 2005, 7:01 pm CDT

Infertility

  

Hi Kileen and to all the women experiencing the heartache of infertility, 

  

I feel your pain and I truly know what you are going through. I am 37 years old and my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over 4 years.  It has been a long journey for us and we have literally tried everything to become parents. I too miscarried almost 3 years ago at 17 weeks; I was to have a boy.. My sorrow still exists, and I still dream and think about the what if!!!! Even though, I know it's still OK to grieve and mourn my loss. I have learned to rationalize my thoughts better because it can consume your life, your psyche and your marriage. What is important, is to stay strong and focused about your future decisions and options of continuing your plight to become parents.   

  

It may be hard to see a bright future now, but as long as there are options and hope, your dream of having a child will come true. (I know, coming from a woman who has been trying for over 4 years, right!!!!) Yes, it's been a long time "waiting" for me and hearing this advise after trying a year may sound to you, not very promising or reassuring but it can be. Just knowing that you're not alone and that there are women out there who feel your sorrow and are rooting for you!!! 

  

I remember when I started infertility treatments; I would go to my clinic, which unfortunately, is like a huge factory. I'd sit there with my head down emerged in reading a magazine because I did not wish to acknowledge that I was in the same situation as all these other women around me. God for bid, I accept my problem, that I too share their shoes. I guess you could say, I was sort of in denial. It took a long time for me to realize how important it is to talk about my infertility and to reach out for support.  Not only can it be a way of healing from the pain, the sadness and the sense of failure we've all felt. It can also be a valuable asset  for future treatments and other family options such as adoption.  

  

Having resources, tools and the support of other infertile women has really helped me to cope with the many difficulties and roadblocks I have encountered through my journey of having a baby...  I have learned so much about myself and infertility. This is a real problem for women today; too many women are going through the same thing as us. This issue is so personal and private and we are all so vulnerable!!!      

  

Since my miscarriage, I have had many more infertility treatments, a failed adoption and I'm still in the game. Believe me, I have had many emotional breakdowns where I thought about giving up. However, each time I came to this conclusion, I'd fight it, pick myself back up again, and find the strength to go on.. Thankfully, my emotional outbursts have been reduced to a minimum.    

  

I guess the point I am trying make in short, ( yeah right ) is that don't give up!! learn all you can about your infertility and research all the information that's available to you and your particular problem. Ask your doctor as many questions as you wish, because if he or she is good, than they will answer you happily...  Again, support can be a great asset not just emotionally; it is also extremely informative about ART.  I have truly met and spoken with so many wonderful and amazing women that have been through so much and yet, through their struggles, became  successful in having a baby!!!!! I know someday soon, my story will have a happy ending too.. 

  

Reaching out for support can be a slow process. After all, this is a delicate issue to discuss and so you need to feel ready... I'm even surprised that there are so few messages on this topic. Although, maybe its because I am a new member and I'm just not aware of past messages .. 

  

Just know, all you strong women out there, that I'm rooting for you and if I can be of any help what so ever please reply!! I am more than happy to share my knowledge and experiences of infertility/adoption with you or if you rather, just simply listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

  

Yours truly, 

  

Karen 

 
October 31, 2005, 12:15 pm CST

wanting a baby

I don't even know where to begin. I am 30 years old and have lost myself. All my life all I have ever wanted was a child of my own. I am currently going through a divorce partly because of the fact that I am consumed with being able to have a child of my own. There is no saving my marriage my marriage is irreconcilable. When I was 21 they told me that I went through menopause, and they have no explanation as to why it happened. They told me that the only way that I can have a child is to go through what is know as an egg donor procedure. The only problem is that it will cost about $20-$25 thousand dollars, and there is no way that I can afford that. At first I was happy that they told me that there was a way that I could have a child but once they told me the cost I knew that I would not be able to afford that. Dr. Phil I have lost myself, and I don't know how to find myself again. I cry myself to sleep at night. It is very painful to be around babies, or even children for that matter. When I was married I had a step-daughter, I loved her very much and still do. However she was not mine, and now that my husband and I are going through a divorce I have lost her also and it is killing me. When I walk through any department store if I get anywhere near the baby section or toy section I break down into tears. And now that I have lost my step-daughter it is even worse. I have currently moved to a different state. It was just too painful to be around my family there. My dad had a new child in Aug. of 2004 and I’m not even allowed to see him. My brother had a new baby 2 months ago and it was just too hard to be around them that I had to leave the state. I moved in with a friend in Indiana, in the hopes that within the next couple months I plan on moving to Illinois because I have been told that it is a state law that health insurance company's have to cover ivf. and some will even cover egg donor. Robin have I have a very close friend that has offered to donate his sperm to me just so that way I can have a child. I understand that it would not be me per say due to the fact that it would be someone else’s eggs but at least I would be able to carry the baby and give birth and it would be my child for the rest of my life. I would be able to love nurture and care for it and bring it up in this world and teach it all the things that a mother can. To be able to watch it find it’s hands and feet. To be able to take it to the park and play with the other kids. I really need help with dealing with this it may sound extreme but my quality of life has really gotten bad. All I do is dwell on the fact that I can’t have kids and that is the only thing out of life that I have really wanted. I would sell my soul to the devil if I knew that I would be able to have a child of my own. I am a member of resolve. And I also see a doctor for me depression how ever I do not feel that any thing will help the only thing that would help is if I had a child of my own. Thanks for listening .  

Abby 

 
November 2, 2005, 10:16 pm CST

I found this

Quote From: fancy27

  My husband and i would like to have children and we are unable to because i have my tubes tied. if theres anyone out there that knows of a place that doesnt cost a arm and a leg to get the tubal reversal done would you plz get in contact with me . thanks  

I am to chicken but, it has some good reviews, I to am looking for tubal reversal. 

But they do go for 5000 to 6000 but hey thats not to bad considering what its worth. 

Here's a website you may consider just info for you again I am a little chicken of it 

http://www.riobravoreversal.com/ 

 
November 4, 2005, 11:12 pm CST

The Best Doctor

You know of all the sad stories , including my own ,I have read about ladies trying to conceive. 

Have you ever stopped trying to see all the infertility specialists and take 

it to the Best Specialist there is  ( The Lord )? 

  

After All He is the KIng of Kings and Lord of Lords ! 

The very best doctor and/or councilor I have ever known. 

And if the deepest desires of your heart are his will . 

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE 

But maybe you have not because you ask not ? 

 
November 5, 2005, 3:59 am CST

ok, Maybe I should be a little calmer and more expressive

Quote From: niteshadow

You know of all the sad stories , including my own ,I have read about ladies trying to conceive. 

Have you ever stopped trying to see all the infertility specialists and take 

it to the Best Specialist there is  ( The Lord )? 

  

After All He is the KIng of Kings and Lord of Lords ! 

The very best doctor and/or councilor I have ever known. 

And if the deepest desires of your heart are his will . 

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE 

But maybe you have not because you ask not ? 

 I cannot believe you would be so full of yourself that you would assume that infertile couples haven't already sought their own spiritual advice, counsel and prayer, should they choose.

I cannot believe you would suggest to someone that has a medical problem that that person should seek not medicine, but instead their spiritual counsel. I cannot believe you would suggest that the problem with an infertile person is that they might just not be "right with God".

I assume you have no medical doctors, only spiritual healers and your family as well?????? I assume if you have a medical problem, you assume for yourself that you must not be right with your god? And your family members as well????

No, I don't really assume that at all. I don't presume to assume your spiritual status or how much or to whom you pray and if you told me you had cancer, I wouldn't think you needed an exorcism
 
November 13, 2005, 11:20 am CST

Infertility

Quote From: kimbrem

 The basal body temp thing works by taking your temp first thing in the morning before you move or drink or eat or get up or anything. It's helpful to get an idea of if and when you are ovulating, it seems to have helped some who don't have fertility issues to get the timing right. You might want to visit an inferiltiy website for the specifics or maybe someone else will remember. I remember I had to have my husband help me there, because I couldn't remember to do the temping before getting up to take care of morning "functions".

It's not very reliable. Seven months may seem a long time trying, but it doesn't qualify as infertile, and fortunately for you, it's probably not due to an issue. It's just a matter of lining up the time. Maybe you can see your doctor and have them do some blood testing to try to help verify ovulation to ease your mind if you think that you're getting frustrated. You might try an ovulation predictor. They make the kits that come with several disposable ones. They also have the more expensive reuseable models that I've seen people have good results with. That would be an investment worth while.

I know it's frustrating and difficult to go through the process. I'm not going to tell you to relax and it will just come, cause that's just insulting. But, I will say good luck, and I hope you and your husband can welcome the newest member of your family soon.

Kim
I just wanted to reccomend a site you.  http://www.fertilityfriend.com is where I record my basal body temperatures.  There is lots of support there.  Good luck!
 
November 13, 2005, 11:32 am CST

New Poster :)

Hello...I'm not sure if I have posted here before or not, but I am now...looking for some more support.   Hubby and I have been TTC for almost 2 1/2 years now with no pregnancy yet.  We are blessed already with a set of fraternal twins which were conceived on clomid our first cycle trying.  Part of the reason it is so hard this time is because they came to us so easily.  I didn't know that having a baby could be so difficult.  I do my bbt charting, I am currently on clomid again, and I've tried many many different things to help in the TTC process....ugh.  It's nice to chat with other women going through the same things. 
 
November 13, 2005, 6:22 pm CST

Twins!

Quote From: mom2twins

Hello...I'm not sure if I have posted here before or not, but I am now...looking for some more support.   Hubby and I have been TTC for almost 2 1/2 years now with no pregnancy yet.  We are blessed already with a set of fraternal twins which were conceived on clomid our first cycle trying.  Part of the reason it is so hard this time is because they came to us so easily.  I didn't know that having a baby could be so difficult.  I do my bbt charting, I am currently on clomid again, and I've tried many many different things to help in the TTC process....ugh.  It's nice to chat with other women going through the same things. 
 That's wonderful! I'm sorry you have been having such a hard time the second go-round. It's tough waiting, especially that long. We are six and a half and still counting for the first. It's tough, and I am thinking we may end up with some kind of alternative compromise. Thanks for the website below.  I'm assuming your tubes have been checked and cleared. Your doctor might recommend IUI or some injectable meds. Clomid can start to work against you after awhile.  I know how tough it is to wait and wait and wait  and, well you get the picture. I know about trying all the things to help too. I know I literally stood on my head for two cycles as a sort of joke between my husband and I. We joked that it couldn't hurt! LOL! Actually, I did have a sore head. It's amazing what you will try or do just to feel like you are helping the process in some way. I hope so much you guys get a third or maybe another pair soon. I think twins are amazing. How was your pregnancy with them? We've discussed it a bit, since the fertility meds carry a risk of twins, but only in a casual way. To us, it seems, in theory, an ideal, but the reality of dealing with the pregnancy is a little more difficult and risky.

Anyways, Welcome!

Kim
 
November 17, 2005, 7:44 am CST

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM

I CAN NOT CONCEIVE AND I NOW HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO WANTS MORE CHILDREN. HE HAS 5 AREADY BUT HE WANTS MORE WITH ME, WE ARE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED SOON AND I FEAR THAT I  CAN'T CONCEIVE, SO, I  WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND TOLD HIM AND HE SAID IT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT  PRODUCTING EGGS IN THE CORRECT  WAY, AND TO TAKE BIRTH CONTRO; PILLS FOR IT. COME BACK TO SEEHIM.  BUT I CAN NOT TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND ABOUT THIS WITHOUT HIM SAYING GO TO THE DOCTOR ABOUT IT AND I HAVE AND IT STILL SEEMS THAT, IWILL NERVER HAVE A BABY, I EVEN ASKED HIM WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF CAN'T GIVE YOU A CHILD? HE DIDN'T ANSWER ME, HE SAID WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN THE TIME COMES. 
 
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