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Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

Number of Replies: 4573
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 06:58:58 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/08/06) Karen is a stay-at-home mother of five who says her anger is out of control. She fears that if she doesn't get help right now, she'll fly off the deep end and do permanent damage to her children. Cameras placed in her home capture an alarming day in the life of Karen and her kids as she degrades and rages at them, and physically abuses her 10-year-old son, Brandon. Karen's husband, Jim, who says he has no idea what goes on in their home while he's at work, sees the home footage for the first time. What is his reaction? Then, hear from Brandon and his 9-year-old sister, Shayna, who describe what it's like to be a small child on the other side of a mother's intense rage. And, what did they tearfully tell the producers about how their dad disciplines them? Plus, Dr. Phil shows how Karen's 3-year-old twins are coping with their fear. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2006 Show Boards.


Some viewers have raised questions about whether the Dr. Phil show reported Jim and Karen to the authorities after the taping of this show. Other viewers have expressed surprise that Karen and Jim's children were allowed to go home with them after the show.

Please be assured that immediately following the taping of "A Mother's Rage," the Dr. Phil show did make a report to local child protection authorities. As a mental health professional, Dr. Phil is required by law to make such a report if he has concerns about the safety, welfare or well being of a child. However, Dr. Phil does not himself have the authority to remove children from their parents' home.

Remember that a lot happens after the taping of a show that TV viewers never get to see.  Dr. Phil's staff draws on a vast network of experts and mental health professionals to help Dr. Phil guests. Karen's family is just one of many to have received this assistance.

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May 7, 2006, 12:17 am CDT

Most disturbing show

When I saw the preview for this show I was stopped in my tracks and in tears by the end of the preview. The physical and emotional abuse I went through as a child was too familiar to this scene. (I'm 26 now)  

I actually didn't see most of the preview because the minute I watched the mother hit the children my mind went blank and all of a sudden I was having these flashbacks of things I hadn't even remembered. I have often wanted to write the show and have Dr Phil try and help my father. He is compleatly full of himself and never abused my mother but always abused my brother and I. Sad as it is, I think my father is beyond even Dr Phil's help! My brother and I are adults now but we've both been in trouble with the law for alcohol abuse, I was a cutter, binger/purger, did drugs...you name it.  

I don't feel as though a lot of these issues have been resolved because I do still have a relationship with my dad. There are many things in my past I know I've repressed, this preview brought just a touch of that back. I hope Dr Phil can at least help these kids. I know it's going to be a difficult show to watch and even being 26 doesn't help feeling like a child again watching scenes like that, having been on the recieving end for far too many years.  

I hope it works out for them before they end up like me. 

Csmcjewl 

 
May 7, 2006, 5:11 am CDT

HOW MANY MORE LIKE THIS FAMILY,,,

Wow, I am just wondering how many more families and children live this way, with so much anger and abuse in the household?  

I give this lady much credit for at least seeing and acknowledging that something is wrong!!  

Hopefully this show will help others to see where their faults lie also.  

This lady demonstrates much courage and faith to let others see her situation, and I am sure with Dr. Phil's help she will enlighten herself as well as her family and begin to live a life filled with love and happiness.  

God bless you Dr. Phil!!  

Denise  

 
May 7, 2006, 7:35 am CDT

05/08 A Mother’s Rage

Quote From: merilee65

Doctor Phil,  

  I am raising my niece and nephew because of my sister doing things like this to them. She chose drugs and booze over them. These poor kids were kicked, punched ,slapped, and called horrible horrible names. Cps was called MANY times.  and after hearing this and receiving a phone call from my disabled mom , I drove done and took them made her sign papers saying i have gardianship and off we went . I have had them now for almost 2 years and they are WONDERFUL and soooo cool! I am seeking and willgetcustody of them. I refuse to let a child be battered like this.  

  This mother and father should be in JAIL!!!  Cps needs to place these poor things in a foster home and mom and dad be FORCED to get help. It makes me SICK to my stomach to see that little child say please mommy don't and THEN when i see you asking them What are you most afraid of? the stick. Dad telling his lies OH i only used it once. Well this is what I have to say to him don't crap in my hand and tell me its a cookie. Thats a lie. Why would the children be SOOO afraid of it? What OTHER things are they doing BEHIND the camera to these kids. They do not deserve to have these special gifts ..SHAME ON THEM!! I can't stop crying over this..its so painful to watch and i hope and pray they seek help.   

 As far as the kids..PLEASE i beg you PLEASE get them out of there. It only takes one good thud to kill someone. I can see that happening if something is not done soon  

We need a license to drive a car...the same should be applied to parenthood.  Not everybody should procreate.  And this lady went on to have 5 kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  God help these children...
 
May 7, 2006, 8:58 am CDT

UNDERSTANDING THE BORDERLINE PARENT

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is mean, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar or cheat may benefit from reading some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of family systems and dysfunctions:        

   

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson  OR  Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman   

   

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss    

    

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward    

    

There are families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.     

   

 
May 7, 2006, 9:23 am CDT

I hope...

I like to know what Dr. Phil is going to say about all of this.... as for my opinion, I hope those children are taken away from those people we call parents...
 
May 7, 2006, 9:36 am CDT

Preview disturbing

Just watching the preview was disturbing... The physical abuse is definitely a major problem here. My parents were sometimes physically abusive, but more verbal abuse and emotional abuse, which can be bad, but I 'm glad they are putting a stop to it with this family. Constant yelling and just the constant  fear of what might happen or of things escalating is a constant state of unpredictability. They just never know what's going to set their mother off. Then to hear the Dad lie and say he didn't know it was going on...I would think he did. I've never said anything to my child about his grandparents when we were younger because they've mellowed out and he thinks they're OK. I think that's fine now and they have changed for the better. But my Mom refuses to take any responsibility because she would blame her past behavior on my Dad's drinking -everything happened because of him. But to this day they will never say he had a drinking problem. I think it is important for the parent to take responsibility and tell the child  they are sorry for the abuse even if there were circumstances in their life at the time. It gives the kid some validation about the whole thing.  
 
May 7, 2006, 9:52 am CDT

why?

The most victimized members in the family are children. This is so because the authority figures in the household are the parents who are directly responsible for the healthy well--being of their offsprings.. Kids are helpless when they cannot even express themselves in the midst of extreme rage... they become frightened, useless and terrorized by the very people who are supposed to LIVE, PRACTICE the basic values of trust, love and intimacy. Though I have only seen the short video, I had to cringe at the sight of the kids looking scared through their body language. 

  

A mother's  rage, possibly a response she never resolved in her own childhood is passed on to her own flesh and blood-- her children... I don't know how she can manage to change her belief system but a lot of counseling should be considered, not only for herself, but for the whole family. Traumatic bonding can devastate so many youngsters who can become the best persons they can ever be when raised in a normal, loving, responsible way. This is a mess to society and must be stopped.  

 
May 7, 2006, 10:37 am CDT

It takes two

Quote From: lh2000

It is probably the father in these situations that bug me the most.  Clearly Mom has some major anger management problems and her lifestyle does not allow her an outlet for her frustration other then her kids.  Some serious counseling, a part time nanny and a gym membership would go along way to diffusing the situation.  The father in this family seems to be enabling her outrageous behavior.  With two adults in this house there should be some checks and balances that would prevent this kind of thing.  Dad has clearly failed his kids as much as mom has a serious problem.  He had to know what was going on.  He should have sent her to Outward bound for pent up moms and sheltered his kids from her rage.  He should also have gotten a vasectomy and not gotten her pregnant 5 times.  I’m sure mom reached her breaking point several children prior to 5.  It
The father of these children are a threat too. Since I haven't seen the show yet only the clip to the show, he is threatening his kids with "the stick". This is appalling!  She needs the gym? She needs counseling? What about him?! I believe it is equaling important to point out that they need to be separated from their kids, get counseling and earn the right to get their kids back. Those precious children should never have had a hand laid upon them and they need a safe and loving environment.
 
May 7, 2006, 10:41 am CDT

05/08 A Mother’s Rage

Quote From: merilee65

Doctor Phil,  

  I am raising my niece and nephew because of my sister doing things like this to them. She chose drugs and booze over them. These poor kids were kicked, punched ,slapped, and called horrible horrible names. Cps was called MANY times.  and after hearing this and receiving a phone call from my disabled mom , I drove done and took them made her sign papers saying i have gardianship and off we went . I have had them now for almost 2 years and they are WONDERFUL and soooo cool! I am seeking and willgetcustody of them. I refuse to let a child be battered like this.  

  This mother and father should be in JAIL!!!  Cps needs to place these poor things in a foster home and mom and dad be FORCED to get help. It makes me SICK to my stomach to see that little child say please mommy don't and THEN when i see you asking them What are you most afraid of? the stick. Dad telling his lies OH i only used it once. Well this is what I have to say to him don't crap in my hand and tell me its a cookie. Thats a lie. Why would the children be SOOO afraid of it? What OTHER things are they doing BEHIND the camera to these kids. They do not deserve to have these special gifts ..SHAME ON THEM!! I can't stop crying over this..its so painful to watch and i hope and pray they seek help.   

 As far as the kids..PLEASE i beg you PLEASE get them out of there. It only takes one good thud to kill someone. I can see that happening if something is not done soon  

God bless you, Merilee. Good luck with getting custody of your niece and nephew.
 
May 7, 2006, 10:47 am CDT

A mother's rage

Quote From: wintrywood

Whoah!  Now hold on there!  How do you know all five kids are his?  The dad is not responsible for her choices, she is entirely responsible for how she treats her kids.  Dad should have stepped up to the plate and been a hero and rescued his kids.  He should have protected them but he abused them further.  Each of us is responsible for the choices we make.  I am looking forward to seeing this show and getting all the facts.
Yes, I agree we are all responsible for our own actions.  HOWEVER, when two people choose to raise children, they should be equally responsible for the rearing of the child.  If the father knew the mother was abusing the children, as it clearly shows he was, then he is just as responsible as the mother is, because he never attempted to stop the abuse.  It doesn't matter if all of the kids are his or all are his and he married into the family unit.  A healthy marraige/household is full of checks and balances, and no matter what he should have been active in difussing the situation.
 
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