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Topic : 08/09 A Mother's Rage

Number of Replies: 4573
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 06:58:58 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/08/06) Karen is a stay-at-home mother of five who says her anger is out of control. She fears that if she doesn't get help right now, she'll fly off the deep end and do permanent damage to her children. Cameras placed in her home capture an alarming day in the life of Karen and her kids as she degrades and rages at them, and physically abuses her 10-year-old son, Brandon. Karen's husband, Jim, who says he has no idea what goes on in their home while he's at work, sees the home footage for the first time. What is his reaction? Then, hear from Brandon and his 9-year-old sister, Shayna, who describe what it's like to be a small child on the other side of a mother's intense rage. And, what did they tearfully tell the producers about how their dad disciplines them? Plus, Dr. Phil shows how Karen's 3-year-old twins are coping with their fear. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2006 Show Boards.


Some viewers have raised questions about whether the Dr. Phil show reported Jim and Karen to the authorities after the taping of this show. Other viewers have expressed surprise that Karen and Jim's children were allowed to go home with them after the show.

Please be assured that immediately following the taping of "A Mother's Rage," the Dr. Phil show did make a report to local child protection authorities. As a mental health professional, Dr. Phil is required by law to make such a report if he has concerns about the safety, welfare or well being of a child. However, Dr. Phil does not himself have the authority to remove children from their parents' home.

Remember that a lot happens after the taping of a show that TV viewers never get to see.  Dr. Phil's staff draws on a vast network of experts and mental health professionals to help Dr. Phil guests. Karen's family is just one of many to have received this assistance.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 6, 2006, 5:15 am CDT

this topic is disturbing

I have not  seen the show yet as it has not aired, but from what I can see from some of the clips and information, I know it's going to be a disturbing show...  

It hits home too close for me as I had a raging mother who went out of control also and verbally, mentally and physically abused me... No one intervened and no one believed me... The abuse affected me so badly that I ended up developing an eating disorder, being in major depressions, having suicide attempts, and very low self-esteem if any... I hope this show will be helpful as far as bringing awareness to hidden abuse that happens at home... It might even surprise people that women can be child abusers too... I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens on the show, but my prayers go out to the children and I hope there will be some way to get them to safety...  

 
May 6, 2006, 7:06 am CDT

similar

Most people  I know  would not guess that my mother was like this -haven't seen any other than the preview. There were a multitude of family problems -  included alcohol  with father and I know some hormone problems with my mother. . We had 5 kids -just too many for some people.,I think. We worship motherhood in this country and I love being a Mom( notice recent run of celebrity births:>)) but people don't realize the stress, 24/7 job it is, expense, and not everyone should be a parent.. I still have to set boundaries with my mother and  my siblings live on the coasts whereas my parents are in the midwest. If my siblings lived any farther away they'd be in the ocean!!!! She still doesn't think any of it is her fault and would never admit to doing anything wrong or apologize for anything. Amazing we are all connected still and speak nicely to each other . Getting some kind of help for yourself is the best way to go. Then you can have a relationship later in life . I could never believe how peaceful things were when I moved out . Sometimes I still  enjoy the lack of tension and  appreciate quiet . 
 
May 6, 2006, 7:54 am CDT

Those kids need help NOW!!!!!

Dr Phil, please do the right thing and call CPS  NOW!!!    I also grew up in a home with and out of control mother.  While my father was a wonderful loving man, at the time he was also an active alcholic and could not help me.  There was no "intervention" back then, and once in second grade when I came to school black and blue and nearly hysterical I was sent to the office and made to call my mother and apologize for whatever it was I did wrong.  I dealt with low self esteem my whole childhood, went through a suicide attempt at 17; and 3 hospitalizations for depression.  My first husband was just as abusive as my mother and I continued to make bad relationship decisions for many years.  After many years of no contact with my mother I made the mistake of letting her back in my and my son's live 8 years ago.  Finally I had to cut the ties again, and my son felt the need also to cut his granny out of his life.  I am now married to a wonderful and supportive man and have a happy and stable family life.

 
May 6, 2006, 8:11 am CDT

Save The Children Dr Phil!

Once again thank goodness for Dr Phil!  American children are being abused everyday by their own parents, steparents and other family members that are supposed to love and protect them.  We need to teach children in school what abuse is and what to do if it happens to them.  We need to empower America's children to go to a responsible adult like a teacher or neighbor and tell them what their parents or other adults are doing to them.  This is not ok and this has to stop.  Thank you Dr Phil for bringing this issue into the light.  I hope these parents get the help they need to be the great parents these precious children deserve.  It may be that these parents were also abused the same way they are now abusing their children and thinking its ok.  However that is no excuse!  As adults we know right from wrong and this is WRONG! 
 
May 6, 2006, 10:39 am CDT

Mother Rage

hello  

   

I think that Karen is acting like this with her children, because she use to be treated the same way from her parents.  

 
May 6, 2006, 10:43 am CDT

the May 8th show and its importance to me

I have only seen the clips to the May 8th show on "parental physical abuse", I think the clips were disturbing, but I believe that the show will be a mirror for those that are the survivors of raging parents and those that may not know that they have a problem with their anger. I am the survivor/thrivor of such a past. My mother beat my brother, sister and I until we were in our pre-teens. the humiliation, abandonment and hate that my mom thrust upon us as innocents was frightening and devistating.  I wore longer skirts to school to hide my welts, belt marks and bruises. "Spare the rod, Spoil the child" is a saying that I heard from both of my grandmothers, both of whom beat their kids as well. With every lash and smack I received, a little bit of my love and trust and pride in my parents fell away. What replaced it was resentment, fear, anger, hopelessness, and despair. I remember asking God, "Why? Why can't I have other parents?"  The problem at the time for me was having religious sects of Christianity that approved of this kind of treatment of children, my grandparents legacy of control based on beatings on my folks lead to me receiving all that generational hatred, control, shame, guilt and physical humiliation thrust upon me.....The proverbial scapegoat and I ran out into the desert.....But I didn't die.   

The good news is that somewhere in my prayers and in my actions I broke the cycle. I had an awakening and I got help because I realized that I was out of control...I may have learned a few things from my folks, but as an adult , I had the responsiblity to come to terms with the past and get help as an adult child of this abuse and heal and heal and heal. I hated my parents for what they did to me and it took a long time in therapy, Ala-anon, and prayer to realize that it wasn't them. It was the disease of shame and fear and hate that shaped them. You don't hate a sick person because they are sick. You hate the disease not the person. Out of this, I came to forgive my mom and dad, I can say that I have excellent boundaries with my mom (my dad has been deceased for 20 yrs.) and although we may have differences, I can love her anyway.    

I can say that my daughter grew up with a mom that wasn't perfect, but happy and oh so proud of her. I was a mildly strict mom with reasonable demands. "Time out " was punishment. And, although I was the final word on what was in her best interest, she always had a voice and say so in my house, etc. I NEVER LAID A HAND ON MY DAUGHTER! My daughter is in college and is an amazing young adult on a great journey.    

My biggest hope for those of you that are survivors of parental physical abuse is to get some help to look at and let go of the past and to learn how to live and let live. .....Learn how to thrive not just survive. To let go of the fear and learn how to self-love and trust again. And for those of you that are beating your kids.......STOP!.......You are causing more damage than you know. Please get help, you can live on love only if you give it a chance. Stop the hitting, don't turn them into your scapegoats.   

 
May 6, 2006, 10:44 am CDT

Mother Rage

hello  

  

I think that Karen is acting with anger with her children, because she use to be treated the same way from her parents. Or the relationship between her and her husband is not so good, so in a way she push her anger  toward the kids. 

 
May 6, 2006, 11:22 am CDT

Taken back!!

I feel so sad for these children and I hope you do something to help them. They can not saty in that house one more day,I can't believe anyone would do that to a child or anyone as far as that goes
 
May 6, 2006, 1:05 pm CDT

And?

Quote From: carene

hello  

   

I think that Karen is acting like this with her children, because she use to be treated the same way from her parents.  

And????  I'm sorry even if your mother treated you this way, you KNOW it isn't right.   This is crap, you never treat your kids like this, I don't care what is going on in your life. 
 
May 6, 2006, 1:07 pm CDT

husband abuse?

Quote From: carene

hello  

  

I think that Karen is acting with anger with her children, because she use to be treated the same way from her parents. Or the relationship between her and her husband is not so good, so in a way she push her anger  toward the kids. 

You can bet if she is kicking around her kids she is kicking around her husband or at the very least she is thinking about it.    

  

This isn't discipline, this is family violence 

 
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