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Topic : 05/09 Finding Allene and Mollie

Number of Replies: 406
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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 07:00:27 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Join Dr. Phil on an incredible journey in search of two missing girls, Allene, 13, and Mollie, 15, who were abducted by their father a year ago. The search is filled with suspense, traveling thousands of miles away from the U.S. through the jungles of a Third World country. Go inside a deeply religious community, known as the Hutterites, where the members live as if they were from a previous time: girls in bonnets and long dresses, transportation by horse and buggy and no electricity or running water. Will this global rescue mission lead to the recovery of two kidnapped children? Who has them and, more disturbingly, for what purpose? Talk about the show here.

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May 9, 2006, 8:47 am CDT

I agree

Quote From: susan3227

I find this story quiet distrubing!!  Though,the father was wrong to take the children, the mother was equally wrong when she brought charges against the father once her daughters were returned to her, this shows how  jealous of her daughters relationship with him, does she realise that this will have a greater affect on the children.  She should not have gone back on her word. 

  

I believe these kids  may be better off without living with their mother, as their beliefs and dress would cause other kids to slag them off, they should join a plain community as they mentioned.  They could never settle in to normal life again and the mother would try to influnence them to live normally,  I think the younger girl may survive but not the older girl.  Will be looking forward to the outcome. 

     I don't know who they would be better off with - quite frankly Dr. Phil is the only one qualified to talk to those girls and decide that - but i do agree the mother should not pursue the charges against these girls' father - it would just breed resentment in the girls for hers.  Unfortunately I get the feeling she's looking for a little revenge for her fear and pain that he created.
    It's pretty obvious that the father should just live his life, remain the custodial parent if that is what's best for the girls - but keep the mother involved in their lives - Dad needs to stop preventing a relationship between the girls and their mom.
 
May 9, 2006, 8:58 am CDT

Good Motives, Bad Decision

I'm not a conservative Christian, but I don't have any problem with the father of their two girls wanting to raise them in a strict religious atmosphere.  What I have a problem with is his decision making.  Why he thought it would be a goog thing to wrench his daughters from everything they've ever known, becomes fugitives and go on the run, cross international borders illegally, and hole up in some backwater where the girls would be far, far away from good medical care, is beyond me.  I've no doubt he loves his girls, but really, he's not thinking any more clearly than the mother is.  This is why the courts are involved in these kinds of custody disputes - they weigh the best course of action impartially and unemotionally, and certainly with more intelligence that what the father displayed.  

  

What dad should have done is talk to the court about modifying the visitation parameters so that the mother could visit the girls in an approved environment near their mother - like a local Mennonite community, or at least one that wasn't 3,500 miles away in the jungle.    

  

Running away was a cowardly and criminal move and cannot be justified by his desire to control the influences on his daughters.    

 
May 9, 2006, 9:12 am CDT

Children Of Divorce

This is just one family of divorce but there are many other families out there going through the same traumas.  Children missing contact with one parent, having contact with a perfectly fit parent lowered to visitation, its like the children are in jail.  Parents don't visit their kids they are supposed to be there to raise them! What right do the family courts have to interfere with a parent child relationship unless the parent has posed some harm or danger to the children? This is what we get from a family law system who's laws are not acting in the best interest of the children.  If they were acting in the best interest of the children they would be helping parents remain fully involved in their children's lives instead of allowing conflict and awarding one parent custody and downgrading the leftover parent to a visitor, a non parent.  No wonder many parents are taking their kids and running!  I am not saying thats right but what would you do as a parent faced with the same situation? Imagine some court telling you when and where you can see your kids, when you have never harmed a hair on their heads and have been a good loving parent that has the misfortune to have a ex spouse that just doesn't feel you are important to the children's lives anymore and a family law system that would back that parent? What about the custodial parents that take their kids and move away?  Who is helping non custodial parents find their kids?  I think in Michele;s heart she has no regard for the love/relationship her girls have with their father.  I don't think Michele would care if her girls ever saw their father again.  Michele must respect her girls feelings first.  If you degrade their father and his beliefs you degrade your daughters also!  I know Dr Phil will make BOTH parents understand its not about them its all about those precious girls.  Make the family law system understand as well Dr Phil!  Unless the law protects the rights of the children to have two fit functioning parents and reforms family law to find a better less confrontational family law system that treats BOTH parents as equally important to their children's development.  Stop these custody battles!  There is no need for them!  All family courts have to do is exactely what Dr Phil is doing!  Sit the family down and work through the issues and come up with a plan everyone can be excited about!!!  REFORM FAMILY LAW NOW! 
 
May 9, 2006, 9:13 am CDT

Cult?

Quote From: philfan70

 I'm looking to watching this 2 part show. 

  

They are dressed like Amish, so it will be interesting to see what 

that Dad has to say for himself. 

  

It looked like on the 2nd part that they may not want 

to go with their Mom. 

  

The cult probably turned them against her. 

  

That is going to be sad. I'll have to tape these shows for sure. 

 You are obviously not educated on the Amish and Mennonite faith.  These are Christian denominations who choose to "live IN the world but  not OF the world".  Try to be careful not to disrespect an entire group of people because you don't understand them.
 
May 9, 2006, 9:18 am CDT

Brainwashed?

Quote From: mistyc

I have no problem with the Dad's religious choices, I do however have a problem witht he fact that he is a kidnapper.  It seems obvious to me that these little girls have been brainwashed, they seem so detattched from there Mother.  They speak about her like she is a favorite aunt or something. 

Like Michelle I suffer from depression, so the comment about her being a flake was a little offensive.   

Whether the father is the custodial parent or not what he did was not only morally  reprehensible it was criminal.  

 Just because the girls don't want to live with their mother doesn't necessarily mean they have been "brainwashed".  This society often says that just because people don't want to live engrossed in the modern world or don't believe the way we want them to they are "brainwashed".  Maybe they are happy with the religious choices they have made and want to be accepted by their mother for the way they believe.  Maybe they feel they don't have a choice but to be detached.

 
May 9, 2006, 9:33 am CDT

05/09 Finding Allene and Mollie

Quote From: winforever

 This is the first time I've become seriously uncomfortable watching a Dr. Phil show.  I believe great care must be taken here.  There is going to be obvious conflict between the "modern" life Mom is living and the "old world" life that Dad and the girls lead.  I'm going to watch tomorrow because I'm curious to see what direction this goes.  Based on what I saw today, it doesn't appear that the culture that the girls and their dad were living in was some weird cult but rather a well established  "old world culture" community (i.e. Amish, Mennonite, etc.).  Although the community was hesitant  at first to assist, they did so willingly in order to find the girls and no one tried to stop them from leaving when the Dad agreed to return to the USA which for him possibly meant a jail sentence.   The only real drama was getting them out of the country and back to the US because Dad didn't have a passport.   I work with many Amish & Mennonite people and would be concerned that those watching this show would think it would be better for these girls to be brought into a modern world that by any means isn't any more perfect or necessarily better because we have technology.  My current bias would be for them to be allowed to remain in the community/culture to which they obviously feel strong ties.   Dad has stated that he believes Mom has some significant problems with mental illness which was part of the reason for him leaving.  We would not question a mom taking a child and "hiding" because she feared that the children's father would harm the children, why would we be so quick to judge a father who proceeded in the same manner in an effort to protect his children.  It would be easy to make quick judgments because they life the "plain life" and also because it is the father taking off with the children but so far I've been more impressed with what he and the girls have said over what the mother has said.
 I totally agree here, imagine if the roles were reversed, and it was a mother trying to protect children from a mentally ill father. I do beleive there is bias against fathers in our family court systems. {I am a female by the way}

The girls seem very happy in the fathers community and seem to love their way of life.
 
May 9, 2006, 9:35 am CDT

Modern life

I guess what you all are forgetting is that these girls did not start off living this kind of life.  The idea to bring the girls up in this manner was not a MUTUAL decision by both parents.   I find it funny that it was ok for Michael to start off as a Psych major in college, but for some reason he does not want his beautiful, bright, and intelligent girls to have an education past the 8th grade.  Michelle is not the one who pulled them out of school, or ran off with them during one of her visitation periods.  Michael needs to take a long hard look at his life and take some ownership for his actions.  It is time to ACT LIKE AN ADULT.
 
May 9, 2006, 9:38 am CDT

05/09 Finding Allene and Mollie

Quote From: qwerty_1

Micheal is not a threat to society, himself or his daughters. If he is arrested it is simply because he has been defiant to an unjust law. How can any Mother or Father be charged with abduction of their own children unless there is abuse involved. These girls have a God given right to live their spiritual beliefs without intrusion as long as it brings no harm to them or those around them. I listened to Dr. Phil speak down on "no electricity" - "No running water"- "No TV"- " Transportation by horse and buggy". There is NOTHING wrong with anyone who "unhooks from the grid" and chooses to live as such. Albeit I would not choose to live in a religious sect such as these people , but they have a right to do so as far as I'm concerned. But who am I, just one person posting his thoughts on the internet. You may say "where are the rights of the Mother?". I say "where are the rights of the daughters when a Mother and Father divorce?" These girls appear healthy and happy--- leave them alone and stop forcing your americanized way of life down their throats.   

 I agree with your post.

I think Michael was trying to protect his daughters from harm.

I dont think there is anything wrong with those who lives a simple life and unhooks from the grid. I think these girls will be better off living a life that is centered on God, and away from the decadence of modern life.

The mother seems to show no concern either for forcing the modern way of life on her girls. One commented on how they were abused at school and the mother didnt even take it serious, well Ill just put them in a private school, like that will be any better!

One thing if someone could answer since I missed the early part of the show, did the mother used to be in this life too and left it or was she ever in it?


 
May 9, 2006, 9:44 am CDT

I have some issues with the whole family

  

  So before I begin I would like to say that I am Atheist, and love learning about Buddhism, and I am open minded. 

 

 BOTH of those parents seriously need some help, I cannot imgaine either one of them being stable enough to care for those girls properly. WHAT IF, goodness forbid, ONE OF THEM GOT APPENDICITIS???! I mean THAT'S DEALY without MODERN medical and surgical care, and being so far out they may not get help in time. 

 

 Medical care is am important part of being healthy, having a proper diet and other considerations are important too. 

 

I have no problem with their religion, I CERTAINLY  WOULD NOT live in that community, but they can do what they want. I'll throw em a party..good for them.. 

I do not think either parent is interested in their girls well being, I think they are most interested in ways to themselves happy and content. 

 
May 9, 2006, 9:51 am CDT

sad for these kids

These poor kids need a de-programmer.  

  

They are only spouting out the doctrine they have been taught in the cloistered cocoon they have been living in.  The sad thing is, they really think these are their own opinions.   

 
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