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Topic : 05/10 Finding Allene and Mollie, Part 2

Number of Replies: 912
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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 07:02:03 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
A tense family drama continues. Dr. Phil sent private investigator Harold Copus thousands of miles through three countries, including the jungles of Belize, to find 15-year-old Mollie and 13-year-old Allene who were abducted by their father one year ago. Now, join the tearful reunion between the girls and their mother, Michelle. Then, Dr. Phil sits down with Michelle and her husband, Michael. Find out why he says, “You could cut the tension with a knife.” What happens when Michael is confronted about the kidnapping? Next, hear from Hutterite religious leader Peter Hoover who was instrumental in bringing Michael and the girls back to America. But was he honest the first time he was on the show? Did he aid and abet Michael in accomplishing the abductions? Then, follow the girls as they go back home. How will they deal with returning to American teenage life? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 9, 2006, 8:21 pm CDT

EXACTLY!

Quote From: atzd12

 I love my son, but I wouldn't let hime live wherever he wants to.  Not now, and not when he's 15.  That's ludicrous.
Who lets kids this age decide what is best for themselves? 
 
May 9, 2006, 9:13 pm CDT

05/10 Finding Allene and Mollie, Part 2

Quote From: kstockdale

Neither parent should be undermining the other.  This does not mean Michele has to support Michael's religious ideals but she should not undermine or degrade his beliefs to the children.  

  

I agree......as long as the mother undermines and degrade this belief, she will be able to BLAME the cult for the daughters NOT wanting a relationship with HER  - INSTEAD of herself! 

I as well agree with this,  There is a reason that the judge gave Mike custody of the children,
 
May 9, 2006, 11:24 pm CDT

after the drama

   It was VERY difficult to watch tonight's show . I sat in a room with my own daughter (20) and neither one of us spoke until the end of the show when my daughter said " Can you believe we have to wait till tomorrow."  

    Tonight's show is not an isolated incident. It's also not the norm, but it does happen. It takes a lot of variables, a lot of different circumstances to come to the point of crossing the law, interpreting the law, and then trying to put some reason to it. In my family's case the jury,,,, It's still out.  

    Aftershock. No matter what you do or who you are or whether you are right or wrong, if there is a circumstance that ends in "adult" children, there will be serious repercussions. Chances are it won't show up right away, but it will.  

Rebeca, 20 yrs hypochondriac.... tries to avoid anything that has a list of symptoms, she knows she will have them all within 12 hrs.  

Robert, 19 yrs absolutely no memory....gets angry because friends have childhood stories of memories, he only has what he has been told.  

Ryan,17 yrs molested his sister (Kaytlin) at the age of 13.... spent one year in a residential treatment facility,  

 
May 9, 2006, 11:27 pm CDT

This Is Something That Could Have Been Better Handled By The Court System

I often wonder what kind of life children have when they're on the run with a parent?  Michael, I think, could have handled his ex-wife's visitation with their girls a little bit better rather than taking off with them to parts unknown.    

From the previews of tomorrow's show it seems as though Allene and Mollie have made up their minds to not live with their mother.   Michael doesn't realize it now,  and there isn't any doubt that he loves his girls,  but  taking Allene and Mollie from their mother is something that's going to scar them for the rest of their life.  

 
May 9, 2006, 11:37 pm CDT

Women win again

It's allways about what the wife or women think is in the best intrest of the children. Give me a break, I dont blame Michael, for taking his girls and leaving the United States. Its all about women the courts dictating to the father when and how much time he can spend with his kids plus the bonus of having to support the ex-wife with child support. Its never about what is right for the family. Just once Dr, Phil I wish you could be honest with your veiwers. Most of the people watching your show are women so you have to protect their intrest, And satisfy your advertizers...This is so sad but it is the real world, with women claiming the children as their's, and the father getting screwed of his legal rights. Iwish Dr Phil would get ral and address the fact that all a women has to do is file for divorce or a restraining order, they even make things up with no recourse for their lies and the man is left with no choice, but to do what Michael did take the girls and leave the United States. Dr. Phil this is the real world wake up and figure it out!!!
 
May 9, 2006, 11:43 pm CDT

I was raised in a cult-ish religion

and watching these girls speak was like watching myself when I was their age(s).  I parroted what I'd been taught, I wanted salvation, wanted to return to god and was willing to do what it took, forego all things "of the world" required in order to get there.  Teenage years for me were strange, I think spirituality can be a very, very big deal when you're a teenager and I clung to what I'd been surrounded by, it was the only representation of spirituality I was allowed to embrace, also the only I really knew anything about.  I did spent one year in rebellion (I was acting somewhat normal during that year) then out of fear for my soul and out of fear that I was disappointing my parents and religious leaders, I swung back to being a perfect little representative of the faith I was raised in.  I had so little knowledge then of what was really in my heart.  I think I was trying to connect with that during my short stint as a rebel at age 15.  But there was so much at stake for me.  Every day that I spent not walking the path set out for me by my parents and the religion they raised me in was putting my soul and eternal destiny in peril.  In the religion of my upbringing, if I didn't "make it" on the other side, I was breaking up an eternal family unit.  Talk about pressure.  

   

I don't doubt that these girls have their challenges with their mother as well as their father.  You see so often that kids are born to two dysfunctional parents and really, most of us are far from perfect.  I don't think there is an easy answer, my heart goes out to them.  They will face challenges whatever happens and who doesn't hate to see that with kids?  You want children to have an easier go of it.    

   

As horribly difficult as a re-entry into "real" life with mom might be, I don't see that continuing a life with dad as long as he lives this lifestyle is in their best interest, either.  And if he were to be incarcerated, for him (and his girls) to believe that being placed into the homes of members is a good solution raises my hackles.  I was hurt badly by people of my parent's faith and to have blind trust in fellow members is horribly naive.  Just because they show up at services and are the first to volunteer for service to others and keep candy in their pockets and a smile on their face, does not guarantee these are not people that might take advantage of or otherwise hurt a child.  

   

I think this lifestyle the father has chosen for the girls may seem safe to him and safe to them as well but it's escapism in my view.  We're born into this world, trying to tip-toe thru it and not let it touch us is not courageous, it is ridiculous and he's doing his daughters no favors by trying to isolate them from so much of what they may end up facing at some point in their life.    

   

That being said, I was impressed with Allene and Mollie.  These are two very strong girls and beautiful girls.   I think that as long as they remain supportive of each other, they will weather what lies ahead.   

   

 
May 10, 2006, 12:03 am CDT

what an eye opener

i cant believe a post i read saying mennonites arent vengful-last time i chk'd kidnapping was up their on the list of bad things to do or one could call it vengful, u think?
 
May 10, 2006, 12:06 am CDT

Wondering about that as well

Quote From: purplepain

Who lets kids this age decide what is best for themselves? 
 Obviously many people on this board take very seriously the rights of kids to make major life decisions on their own.  Surprising, since many of them are advocating a very controlled way of life!
 
May 10, 2006, 12:09 am CDT

You hit the nail right on the head

Quote From: jmobst

Though it is unfair and very unfortunate that this father is very short-sighted, I think that he joined this religious group in an effort to "leave society". I think he also did this in a way that would tear these girls away from their mother.  The saddest thing and most difficult for them to overcome will be the BELIEFS they have now ingrained in them - beliefs that they are on a different spiritual level from the rest of the world because they "know better" than to be worldly. Beliefs that this is the path God has chosen for them and beliefs that make them suspicious of anything that is worldly. They will have to make a conscious decision to leave the group of people they identify with and with whom they feel understood and loved, in order to be with their mother. They would have to choose education even though this group denounces it as worldly.  It doesn't matter if the Mennonites are considered a "peaceful" group, they have their own prejudices and they have very human inclinations - to leave them is a choice and to leave that way of life is to denounce what they consider important to enter heaven.  These girls need support and love that probably exceed what this mother can truly give them.  They all need professional intervention with someone who specializes in this type of situation - and that will be a huge challenge to find.

Great post.  Absolutely, what can fuel and guarantee continued faithfulness in a group like this is that feeling of being set apart or above the rest.  To have been indoctrinated with this belief and be pulled away from the group can be a set up for major identity crisis.  Very difficult times ahead.  Hopefully they can find a therapist that has experienced this themselves or has spent years offering treatment to people that have been in this situation.   

   

   

 
May 10, 2006, 12:12 am CDT

Well said

Quote From: helgaana

Brainwash has quite a few faces to it.  Here's the guarenteed lotto numbers: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx and the quarenteed payout is USDollar 10mil.  Now, you have a choise: Play or not.  And then in a wisper voice: If you don't play and share the winnings with me, this...that...this will happen to you.  That, my dear freind is brainwash also.  It's very clear that the children were told that they have a choise between mom and dad (sick choice by nature!), however if you choose mom then this and that will happen to you and this and that will be taken from you.....!  And what's worse - all in the name of God!  Not the real God, but the God they invented to be able to manipulate, rule and own other human beings as in an effort to hide their own shortcommings.  That's brainwash!!
 Very well said!
 
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