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Topic : Pregnancy Loss

Number of Replies: 270
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:55:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death are the most heartbreaking times a couple might face. Share your story and receive support from others who understand.

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November 25, 2006, 5:26 am CST

Does anyone have pai-1 gene mutation?

Hi everyone!  I was wondering if anyone has any advice for PAI-1 homozygosity?  I have had 4 miscarriages.  The first was a blightened ovum.  The second I have no idea what happened because I got the flu a week after I found out I was pregnant and lost the baby at 6 weeks.  They said it was due to the high fever.  After this miscarriage I had a bunch of tests done and they found a mutation in the PAI-1 gene.  It puts me at a higher risk of blood clotting.  The doctor told me to take a baby asprin while we were trying to get pregnant.  I did get pregnant again very soon and after we saw a hearbeat on ultrasound he started me on heparin shots twice daily plus the baby asprin.  Everything was fine until my 14 week appt when there was no heartbeat.  The doctor said it happened shortly after my last visit which was at 10 weeks.  I had no cramping or bleeding.  He took me the next morning for a D&C.  The pathologist said it was not due to the Pai-1 it was just a miscarriage.  After this I had to swich doctors for insurance reasons.  I got pregnant again 5 months after the D&C.  My new doctor told me to start taking the baby asprin after I found out I was pregnant.  I knew I was pregnant for a about a week and I started spoting.  This doctor wants to send me to a specialist in Maternal-fetal medicine in Pittsburgh.  Does anyone have this and had a sucessful pregnancy?  I am starting to get very discouraged and thinking that i will never have a baby.   Thanks for any advice in advance!
 
November 25, 2006, 5:40 am CST

Stop blaming yourself!!!

Quote From: fiscal29

I had a miscarriage at the end of July this year.  Right now I guess you would say  I am either depressed or angry.  Normal reactions.  I'm angry for a few reasons.  First of all the miscarriage might have been prevented but unfortunately, my husband and I don't know.  I had gone to a birthing center and saw certified nurse midwives.  Unfortunately, I guess you would say that the prenatal care that they gave me was less then stellar.  I got bit by a tick while pregnant and wanted to speak to one of them about it just to make sure there wasn't anything extra I had to do.  They never called us back and when I went in for my appointment after that the midwife that I saw was surprised that I had been bit.  We had had an appointement a month before and they had done some bloodwork on me. Well, I guess no one looked at the paperwork because there were some of my labs missing and their were 2 big problems: my progestrogen levels were way low and my thryoid levels were also way low (these are 2 big things that are factors in a misscarriage).  But, my husband and I didn't her from them during that month after the first appointment.  Then when they knew that they needed to do an ultrasound they reassured us that they would get us in the next day and call us at 8:30 to give us the appointment time.  Instead, when my husband called (because they hadn't called us and it was way past 8:30) they said that they would get to us after they got all of their Friday stuff done (this was Tuesday). 

Besides thinking about that stuff I guess you would say I have the normal anger.  I think about my husband's sister in law  (who we both don't get along with because she has gone out of her way to be a disrespectful and deliberately mean won't go into the story here this isn't the toxic inlaw board) who was overweight (at least 250) before she got pregnant, didn't take care of herself and went on to get gestinal diabetes and ended up having a perfectly healthy baby girl.  I think why does someone like that get to have a baby and I can't carry one.  I took care of myself (ate right most of the time and exercised) and someone who doesn't care enough about her baby to be healthy can have one.  I'm not perfect mind you.  I see women that are pregnant smoking or know of women who are smokers and smoke while pregnant give birth and think why??????

I haven't had good self esteem in the past.  This just makes me think badly upon myself again.  My husband isn't the reason why the baby didn't survive it was me.  My body was inadaquate=me inadaquate again.  In a since it was my fault. because of my thryoid and hormones.  My husband is younger then me he's 26 and I'm 30.  He doesn't blame me for what happen but at times I feel like he should find someone else so that he can have children.  I say this because I'm afraid that I won't be able to carry a baby to term.  In my head if we are fortunate enough to get pregant  I'm deathly afraid that I will have another miscarriage.  The way I feel right now is that it will happen.  I also think I will be 31 by the time we will be able to try, what if it takes a long time not only will I be afraid of miscarriage but of birth defects as well.  I want to have children but I'm almost petrified to try now. 

Sorry about the jumble of thoughts.  I just would appreciate any advice anyone has on coping.

Thank you.

 

 

First of all this was not your fault!!!!  I myself have had 4 miscarriages and for each one I have examined every little thing that I did and blamed myself.  Being low on progesterone doesn't necessarily mean that you have a progesterone deficiency.  I have read that low progesterone is a sign that a pregnancy is not viable.  What happened was not your fault or your husbands Unless you were purposly smoking crack or eating plutonium.  It is so hard when you see this women not taking care of themselves, smoking, drinking, drugs that can get pregnant and give birth to healthy children.  It makes me sick too.  But we are not making thing better for ourselves with these bad attitudes.  Was this your first miscarriage?  There are many reasons for miscarriages but doctors generally don't do testing unless you have had 2 or three.  You are not inadequate as a woman.  I  will keep trying until I have my baby no matter what it takes.  I don't care if I have 10 miscarriages.  Chances are if you have had one or two miscarriages you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy.   But the first thing you have to stop doing is blaming yourself!!!!!!

Hope this help a bit.  Keep your chin up! 

 
November 30, 2006, 7:25 pm CST

NUMB

Hello all,

       Today I had my second D&C and would be my third documented miscarriage.  In oct. 2004 I had my first D&C at 10 weeks and a natural miscarriage at 8 weeks in oct. frusterated and scared waited almost two years only to have another missed abortion as the dr.'s call it, having to have my next D&C. YUK I feel horrible!  I do believe that this has to be the worst thing a family can go through.  My concern is that I didnt allow myself to get too excited when I found out I was in fact pregnant, and when they did my next ultra sound due to spotting and determined that there was no heartbeat I wasnt suprised, nor too upset.  I did cry and cried even harder when I had to tell my husband....to see the hurt in his face killed me.  Have I just mad myself  insensitive to being excited..... I feel like a terrible person because I didnt fall apart.....I just expected it.  Now my doctors will start the process of testing me and my husband to find out why this keeps happening, but has anyone else just become numb because of the hurt?     I pray none of you ever have to go through this again!

 
December 6, 2006, 12:56 pm CST

Having one of the bad days

I am 25 years old, my husband and I have been married for 2 years, together for 4, and we are parents of a beautiful 2 year old daugther. She is my life. I have always known that I wanted to have a family, especially have children. I never cared much for what career I would have because the most important thing for me was to have a family. You can imagine how excited I was to have my daughter, and I knew I wanted more! When my daughter turned one my husband and I decided to start trying for another one. I got off of birth control and the long wait began. It took us 8 months to finally get pregnant and we were both so excited and happy. We told everyone!!! On March 26, 2006 it was a Sunday so my husband, my duaghter and I were all just doing chores around the house and hangin out. I was roughly 11 weeks along. My daughter had gone down for a nap and I was just doing some laundry, sorting through some stuff when I started having a tremendous pain in my back that slowly progressed to my abdomen, kinda like menstrual cramps but almost constant. I didn't feel right. I went to use the restroom and noticed that I was bleeding some, not a lot but enough that it wasn't just light spotting. I hollered at my husband, he grabbed our daughter, and we went to the local ER. When I got there, it was abosultely ridiculous!!! I told them I was pregnant, bleeding, and having cramps. After waiting 45 minutes they finally took me to an exam room where I waited another good 45 minutes for the doc. He told me it was most likely a bladder infection, but I knew better!!! I went to the restroom again and was bleeding heavily. I demaned something be done, I knew what was happening, why didn't anyone else?! So I finally go down the hall for a vaginal probe/scope exam. I knew it was too late, I knew the baby was gone. The nurse said, "I'm gonna need someone else to come in and look at this, that is procedure in cases like this". I just started sobbing, I knew, and finally, everyone else knew that the baby had no heartbeat and was gone. It's the most horrible feeling in the world. It's like having your heart and your guts just ripped out of you. I couldn't stop crying. To them it was just a fetus, to me, it was my baby, my child, that was supposed to grow up to be an adult! The hardest part was going home and still bleeding. They said that I would bleed for a while, until all the "particles" of the fetus passed. Suddenly, the baby whose heartbeat I was supposed to hear 12 days later, was merely particles passing through. What did do wrong??? I just watnted to go home and be with my daughter.

 

It's been 9 months since then. The hardest day was November 1st, which was originally our due date. Things would bo soo much different now if I hadn't had that miscarriage, I would be able to be holding my baby and giving him/her hugs and kisses. It's still really hard. I have good days and I have bad days. Today just happens to be one of those bad days. I know that God took the baby away from us for a reason. But that doesn't always make it easier to cope. I was ready to start trying again several months ago but my husband just isnt ready yet. It's hard sometimes to see a newborn and not get sad, or to see a pregnant woman out and about and not get down about it. But, I try to move on and I keep my baby in my thoughts everyday.

 
December 7, 2006, 11:19 am CST

Bad September

we found out at the end of July I was pregnant, we were so happy all we've talked about since we got to gether was having kids, we were planning our wedding that was going to be in october, and then tehy worst day of ny life hit me it was September 22 8:00 in the morning i was at work i went to the bathroom and there was blood all over my underware i ran to the supervisors office and calle dmy husband right away he came and got me and we went to the hospital where they told me it was a 50/50 chance i was have a misscarriage, the schedualed me for an ultrasound in 2 hours we went and had breakfeast prating for the best. We got to our ultrasound and the woman who did my ultrasound was not professional at all she left the room twice and left the camera inside me. Then told me to get dressed and go to the dr office and he would tell me the results. Well we got there and he told us there was no heartbeat, iwas crushed and heartbroken my whole life i dreamed of having kids and i found the perfect man and now we lost our baby. i cried so much and so long it just wore me out. My husband didn't know what to do he was so upset and upset to see me go throught this. My dr didn't tell me i needed to get a D&C done he said my body would take care of it. Then he told me there would be slight cramping and just to take some advil and i would feel better! LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through labor and on tuesay morning at 6 am the contractions started and never stopped until my husband got me to the hospital at 3:30pm. i had to sit on my toilet for 2 hours i was bleeding so bad. i lost a ton of blood, but "it was only slight cramping" I ended up having an emergency D&C done. It was the most horrible and disapointing thing that has ever happend to me and i see other girls at my work that are pregnant and it make sme mad and sad and depressed i don't want to be around anyone that is pregnant. We can try again in January and we intend to. I just hope its a better outcome than the first.

 
December 15, 2006, 7:10 pm CST

How long does the pregnancy hormone remain in the body after giving birth?

    I am probably grasping at straws to ease the pain, but is there a chance I was not even pregnant the second time, when I had the miscarriage?  I went to the dr. three and a half months after giving birth to my daughter, for a totally unrelated reason, they did blood work and totally threw me for a loop when they told me I was pregnant.  We had only had sex once since Kiwi was born, and used a condom that time, and I was also on the patch at the time (though, two weeks later I stopped using it for the pain it was causing my arm), the condom didn't break and I had no idea how I could have been pregnant.
    Was it possible I wasn't and the hormone they were getting in their tests was left over from when I was pregnant w/Kiwi?  Or does it stay in the body that long?  It has been a year and a half and I still cry.  Kiwi will be 2 this February, the other baby would have been one a week before her birthday. 
    If anyone out there knows anything about this sort of thing, please tell me.  I just don't see how I could have gotten pregnant that second time.  Two weeks after finding out (turned out I was 12 weeks along when I found out) when I was 14 weeks along, I started bleeding and cramping really bad.  I went to the ER and sat in the waiting room for around 4-5 hours before being brought back into the room, then spent another 1-2 hours in the room before I was even seen by a nurse, another hour before a doctor saw me, and ordered a vaginal ultrasound.  It took them another hour and a half for that to happen.  They couldn't see or hear anything w/the ultrasound and told me to come back in three days to have more bloodwork done to compare the hgc levels.  On the third day they were at around 300 having gone from 450-500ish at the ER three days earlier.
    Could that have been left from the first pregnancy which I gave birth three and a half months earlier?  I am having such a hard time coming to terms with this, there are so many unaswered questions, so many things I could have done differently, the hospital could have done differently.  It doesn't help I am being sued for the four thousand dollars that those visits cost me since I didn't have insurance.  They will be garnishing my husbands paycheck in a few weeks for it, and for what?  A baby they let die?  A woman who was losing her child they only let warm a seat in an empty waiting room for hours on end?  I need answers.
 
February 22, 2007, 7:53 am CST

I've experienced this loss too

It's amazing to find a site like this. I wish there had been something like this for me decades ago. My last misscarriage was sixteen years ago, but I occasionally pause to think I could still have a teenager in my home. My second pregnancy ended up in a stillbirth at 7 months. I had two other misscarriages between my forth and fifth children. There isn't room enough to go through all of them here, so I'll discuss the last one. We already had eight children, and I was 46. What a one month roller coaster. Excuse the cliche, but there is no better way to put it. From: "You're kidding" to "How can I possibly be pregnant at my age" to "Maybe I can do this with God's help" to "It's going to be okay" to "I remember how wonderful it is to hold an infant" to "It's going to be a good thing, another child sent to my care" to "I can't be spotting." Finally a late night trip to the hospital. At least I didn't hear those wreched words, "You can always have another one." People don't recognize you won't have that one again. Those were hard days to get through. I had some good friends that understood, but it was shocking how many people said it was a blessing that I didn't have to raise another child at my age. What I went through helps me understand those of you that didn't even want to have a baby that lost yours. It's hard, but you can get through it. Feel the pain, but also look for healing. If you spend your life dwelling on the loss, you won't be there for others around you. Don't pretend it didn't happen, but when you start getting depressed, find a way to help someone else.  Allow yourself time to greive, but don't wallow it self-pity. You can get through it, I did.  Joy
 
February 22, 2007, 8:55 am CST

There is hope!

     I know there hasn't been any messages on this board in a while, but I just found it! I'm gong to tell my story any way, I hope it may help some one out there.

     My husband and I had always wanted children, so when we got married we started trying right away. It worked for us that time and nine months later I was having our son. I had told the Dr. from the start that if there was ever a question of me or the baby, he was to do anything possible to save the baby. Unfortunately there was some major complication during delivery and he had to do an emergency c-section. I lost so much blood during the operation that I went into shock and almost died. Our son was saved and that was all that mattered to me, and I recovered. I was so happy to be a mom that it didn't matter what I had went through to get him here! ( 45 hours of labor and a major surgery).  When we started trying for our second child I got pregnant right away again and I thought "oh, this is so easy!". But on Zack's second birthday I had a miscarriage. I was only 8 weeks along, but it was still devastating! No one seemed to understand how upset I was, not even my husband. I kept hearing that it happened for a reason and that it just wasn't meant to be, but that kind of stuff just made me feel more depressed and alone. Even the Dr. just said "well, it just happens some times".

     We had always wanted a big family, and I was worried about Zack growing up an only child, so we kept trying. Two more miscarriages followed (at 8 then 10 weeks), all within a year. The Dr.s couldn't or wouldn't do anything to stop it from happening, or even tell me why it kept happening. We gave up. I was horribly depressed and grieving for the children I wanted so bad. I felt like I had let my husband down. I felt guilty, like it was some how my fault because it was my body doing this. I tried to move on and just be grateful that we had Zack.

     About the time I had gotten comfortable with having only one child, a year and a half later, I got pregnant again. I was actually upset! We had been using birth control because I didn't think I could handle loosing another child. I was so terrified! I just knew it would happen again! We didn't even tell our family until the second trimester. But 4years and 2mos to the day after Zack was born, we had a healthy baby! Another boy, so I named him Nathaniel - it means gift from God, and that is how I felt, blessed!

     Nate was another c-section because he was transverse, and they were afraid my scar would rupture. The Dr. (not the one that delivered Zack) told me that my uterus was so full of scar tissue from the first c-section that it was a miracle that I carried him to term! That was what had been causing the miscarriages! It didn't change anything, but at least I knew what was happening! The Dr. told us he removed as much of the scar tissue as he could, but if we wanted any more children, we needed to do it soon.

    We took him at his word, and 20 months later I delivered a baby girl (also c-section), Allison. Even though only 20 months had passed since Nate was born, enough scar tissue was back they once again called her a miracle baby! They had remove scar tissue to even get to her, and it took almost 2 hours of surgery before she was delivered. The Dr. told us that because of the damage to my uterus I could never carry another child to term, so I had him tie my tubes then, rather than risk loosing another.

      I thank God every day for the blessings in my life, and the top of that list is my children. Even though I had given up all hope of another child, he saw fit to give me not one, but two babies the Dr.s said I never should have been able to have. I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter how hopeless it seems, don't give up. The impossible can happen! Sometimes when you least expect it. My Nate and Allie, now four and three, are living proof that miracles can and do happen!

     May all of you get little miracles of your own!!

 

 
February 22, 2007, 10:08 am CST

Remembering Matthew...

On December 19, 2003, I did what should have been the best thing that ever happened to me...I gave birth to a baby boy, named Matthew. My delivery wasn't exactly welcomed by me; I was only 25 weeks. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon, but a few hours before, I started to have contractions. Mom and I went to my doctor, and by the time we got there, my contractions were every 10-15 min. I asked my doctor if he would check to see if I was dilating, and he replied, "there's no need." He told us that I had Bronchitis, and to go home(25 miles away). My mom told him that we weren't going anywhere, and that he WAS going to put me in the hospital. We went and got admitted, and went to my room...

 

Once we got in to the room, I was surprised to see that they weren't putting ANY type of fetal monitors on me at all(and STILL nobody checked me). After about an hour or two, I went to the bathroom. I ran back out and told the nurse to get the doctor, because there was something coming out. When the doctor came, he told me that he couldn't do anything. Around 5:30 pm the doctor told me that not only was I having my son 3 months early...he was breech. I only dilated to a 3 before he was on the way. At 5:40 pm I gave birth to Joseph Matthew. I want someone to explain to me why I couldn't get the doctor to listen, and why NOBODY will help me do anything...I had a lawsuit filed, but it didn't get far, and now...my friend is on the verge of loosing her new son, because the doctor don't care about the people anymore, it's just a job to him. I know that suing him isn't going to bring back my son, but maybe knowing that people aren't going to let him get away with this might help.

 

Thank you.

 
February 22, 2007, 11:40 am CST

BELIEVE IN GOD. HE WILL HELP YOU

Quote From: kacidisnkrunk

On December 19, 2003, I did what should have been the best thing that ever happened to me...I gave birth to a baby boy, named Matthew. My delivery wasn't exactly welcomed by me; I was only 25 weeks. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon, but a few hours before, I started to have contractions. Mom and I went to my doctor, and by the time we got there, my contractions were every 10-15 min. I asked my doctor if he would check to see if I was dilating, and he replied, "there's no need." He told us that I had Bronchitis, and to go home(25 miles away). My mom told him that we weren't going anywhere, and that he WAS going to put me in the hospital. We went and got admitted, and went to my room...

 

Once we got in to the room, I was surprised to see that they weren't putting ANY type of fetal monitors on me at all(and STILL nobody checked me). After about an hour or two, I went to the bathroom. I ran back out and told the nurse to get the doctor, because there was something coming out. When the doctor came, he told me that he couldn't do anything. Around 5:30 pm the doctor told me that not only was I having my son 3 months early...he was breech. I only dilated to a 3 before he was on the way. At 5:40 pm I gave birth to Joseph Matthew. I want someone to explain to me why I couldn't get the doctor to listen, and why NOBODY will help me do anything...I had a lawsuit filed, but it didn't get far, and now...my friend is on the verge of loosing her new son, because the doctor don't care about the people anymore, it's just a job to him. I know that suing him isn't going to bring back my son, but maybe knowing that people aren't going to let him get away with this might help.

 

Thank you.

HI MY NAME IS PEGGY. ON JANURARY 26, 2007 I GAVE BIRTH TO A STILL BORN BABY BOY. HE WAS 8LBS ,2OZS AND 22INCHS LONG. MY HUSBAND AND I BURIED JOHN THOMAS ON JANURARY 31, 2007. THIS IS OUR FIRST LOST CHILD I WAS 24 DAYS FROM HAVING HIM. I TOLD THE DOCTORS THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG BUT THEY WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME. MY HUSBAND HAS 3 OTHER CHILDREN, I HAVE 1 AND WE BOTH HAVE 1 TOGETHER. MY FIRST 1 HAS LD. THE DOCTORS BACK THEN DIDNT LISTEN EITHER. SO I HAVE COME TO REALLY  HATE  ALL DOCTORS.  ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A REASON THAT GOD WANTED YOUR BABY. THAT YOU  DID NOTHING WRONG AND TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT YOUR MISHAP. 
 
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