Topic : Pregnancy Loss

I had a misscariage at twelve weeks in May 2006. It was the most devastating experience I have had to this point in my life, and it took me about a year to start to feel truly happy for other women who were pregnant or had infants. However, my cycles have recently switched from 34 days to 45 days and at first I was shocked because I had been perfectly regular for over a year. So, I went to my GYN and he told me that I most likely have endometriosis based on my ultrasound. My husband and I have only been trying to get pregnant for about 3 months and haven't been successful. At work there are about 7 pregnant women and all I feel is bitterness and anger. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I am so scared that I won't be able to get pregnant, and I'm sad that I'm not pregnant. When I see the other women happy and excited, I want to feel happy for them, but I don't. All I feel is anger that I'm not pregnant, bitterness that they are pregnant, and sadness because I feel I should have a 9 month old son or daughter now. It makes me angry when I see any pregnant woman or a woman with an infant. I feel jealous and bitter. I know this isn't healthy for me, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to feel like this, but I fear the only thing that will help heel me is having a baby. My biggest fear is that it will never happen for me. Can anyone relate to having these awful feelings?

I understand how you feel. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I can empathize because I also feel angry and bitter towards other pregnant women. I know what you are going through. I know that it's an awful thought, and I don't want others to feel the way that I am feeling. However, it makes me angry that other women get to have their perfect pregnancies and thier perfect babies, and I didn't. I feel as though every pregnant woman that is happy and excited is rubbing it my face and reminding me of my loss. I feel so guilty becuase this is a happy time for them, and all I can do is think of myself. I can't even be happy for others. I suppose this is because of my hurt regarding the sensitive subject. I feel bitter and unhealthy. I feel angry and guilty. I also am at a loss of how to help myself heal. I have no advise for you,  but I hope it helps you to know that others do have the same feelings, and I suppose it is a normal response?

i am SO sorry to hear of your loss, i don't come on here very often, but if you would like you can e-mail me kacidis_n_krunk@htmail.com and we could talk that way. Ive been busy we lost the other baby i wrote about after a 5 month battle in the hospital with him. its bullshit and it couldve been stopped

Im new to the boards, but I thought I would jump in. I must say I am still going through that problem. My EDD is Saturday and next weekend is my friends babyshower. I am still very bitter and upset that Im not holding my baby. My first miscarriage was in 2000 and my second was back in March of this year. Its definitely normal to have those feelings. My doctor is still confident that I will have my baby. I know its hard, but you will have it too.

Last September my husband and I started trying for our first baby it was exciting but scary at the same time. I have never had a normal cycle some times I will go months without one and none of the doctors I have seen seem to think its a problem. It took 7 months for me to finally get pregnant I know thats not very long compared to some people but it seemed like forever to me. Problem was I did not know I was even pregnant until I had the miscarriage. It was normal for me to go a month without a p and I was just starting to feel the morning sickness and the tenderness when I lost the baby. We estimated I was about 8 weeks along. The problem was I did not stop bleeding from the miscarriage we went to the ER where I passed out in the parking lot before we even made it inside. I had to go into surgery to stop the bleeding and I spent the rest of the day in the hospital I had never felt so violated in my life.

 Then because of the amount of blood I had lost I was so tired for weeks after this happened it took forever for me to finally get all my energy back. My husband was really worried about me the entire time and no one blamed me but I still feel like if I had known maybe I could have done something to prevent it. After that every time I saw a baby or a pregnant woman I would cry. Then to top it off not even a month later my husband started bugging me to try again for another baby. I get so mad when ever my husband or friends/family mention anything about me having kids. Don't get me wrong I want a baby but the whole thought of going through that again scares me to death and I am just not ready but they keep bugging me about it. I know I should just tell them how I feel but its so hard just to even talk about it.

Hi Suzuka,

 

I know how you feel I suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks on 8th Oct, it was my first pregnancy.  I went to the emergency room at noon and was sent home bleeding and was told there was an 80% chance I would miscarry, if the bleeding or pains got worse I was to return to the ER.  We were barely home when the bleeding got much worse I rushed back to the ER I was told I was in the middle of a miscarriage and if I could control the blood flow myself and pain relief I could go home.  Nothing prepared me for the amount of blood I would loose over the next couple of hours of the actual miscarriage itself.  I took a week of work and went back I didnt want anyone to know I had suffered a miscarraige as they didnt know I was pregnant.  Getting back into a routine helped me cope, as did looking after myself.  My partner was keen to try again straight away I wasnt as there were still days I would come home from work in tears for no apparent reason at all, physically I was fine, mentally I was devastated.

 

I am coming round to thinking about trying again now, dont get me wrong I am really really scared the same thing could happen again but I was assured by the hospital I did nothing wrong I was just the statistic the one in four who suffers a miscarriage and there was every chance the next pregnancy will be fine.  Be kind to yourself take as long as you need, cry if you need it helps me.  Talk to your husband because he has suffered a major disappointment and loss too.  Be there for each other but most importantly take your time.  Heres hoping your next pregnancy will be happy and healthy and really soon.

I had a miscarriage this past August and didn't feel too sad at first, but lately I keep thinking about it.  I am working on my second bachelor's degree and my boyfriend is also still in school, so it would not have been convenient to have a baby, and it was a huge surprise considering I'm on birth control.  However, all I can think about now is how sad I am about the miscarriage, which itself was rather traumatizing (had to go to ER because of lost consciousness due to loss of blood and experienced the worst physical pain of my life).  I know it would not have been good for the baby to be born to two parents still in school and in substantial student loan debt living in a very tiny apartment, but I am so preoccupied with it.  I often think of how far along I'd be and what I would have been doing at this point to plan for the baby.  My boyfriend's sister got married last year and just announced that she and her husband are trying to have a baby.  I want to be happy for them but I just feel so bitter.  It even makes me sad to see other people pregnant when I know I should be happy for them.  I can't seem to get over being so sad and bitter.  If anyone has any advice, I'd be grateful.

My name is Amber and I am new to the board, but I lost my first child two months ago, because of a bacterial infection left untreated and I would be more than happy for someone to talk to at this point.

This is my 2nd miscarriage. Last year I was 17 and miscarried before I knew I was pregnant. A year and a month later I found out that my baby's heart stopped beating and that my baby was dead inside of me. I was 9 weeks along and looking forward to having my baby. I wasn't with the father cuz he left me when I wouldn't abort the baby. But the guy I was seeing said he'd be there to be the father of the baby. Well he was away up north and still is cuz of his job and I'm home alone. The Dr. gave me 4 small pills to take to induce the process so I wouldn't need a D&C and I took them and 4 hours later the miscarriage took place. It breaks my heart to know that I won't ever get to see my babies faces or feel their baby skin. But the pain has gotten bad. I almost passed out and the bleeding is getting more and more. I'm afraid cuz I'm all alone my bf isn't able to get to me for a couple of days cuz of the blizzard and I don't know whats wrong. I feel horrible all the time emotionally cuz I couldn't carry my babies and I wanted them both. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm scared I can't have kids even though the Dr.s believe the biological father is at fault because he was on crystal meth and weed and I didnt know that when I conceived. I just feel all alone and afraid and hurt. I'm only 18 and I wanna have kids in the future after college and I'm afraid I can't have children.

hi, im casie, i carried a full term baby boy aug. 06-may 07.  i was 37 weeks along, went into labor and after about 5 hours, the midwives could not find the heart beat( i was using the midwives for a home birth).  i was transfered to the hospital,(nurses were crap, but the doctor was the best in the area) delivered a beautiful baby boy seaven jo, he was a stillborn. i was there for a week recovering from transfusions and mri and ultrasounds for my leg. i went though placenta abruction, which happens for 1 out of 100.  i was only 16,  people say its different when it happens when you are a teen, like its not as important, that i can go on with my  life.  thats not true, i have to face things everyday, from teachers telling me it does not matter that i lost my babyl, that i should be happy it happened, to having trouble walking because of a screwed up epidural causeing neve damage.
i believe that dr. phil should do a show on pregnacy loss, and this show coming up , this week, makes teen pregnacy look horrible, like we are a horrible person to even be carring a baby, even if its a mistake