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Topic : Pregnancy Loss

Number of Replies: 270
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:55:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death are the most heartbreaking times a couple might face. Share your story and receive support from others who understand.

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August 11, 2008, 10:02 am CDT

LOSS IS THE WORST

Hi! I'm a 19 years old and I got pregnant some time in april, when I found out in May that I was pregnant I thought it was one of the best days of my life, Soon after my world came crashing down. I went to the doctors on July 18, 2008 to make sure my baby didn't have downs syndrome, The first thing I noticed was that my baby didn't have a heartbeat. I had been to the doctors a week prior to get blood results and they found I have some sort of blood disorder. I was at the doctors last week and they told me that there was nothing they could say yet! How long do I need to wait to find out what happend!!!!

 
September 10, 2008, 8:01 am CDT

I'm sorry

Quote From: jas031489

Hi! I'm a 19 years old and I got pregnant some time in april, when I found out in May that I was pregnant I thought it was one of the best days of my life, Soon after my world came crashing down. I went to the doctors on July 18, 2008 to make sure my baby didn't have downs syndrome, The first thing I noticed was that my baby didn't have a heartbeat. I had been to the doctors a week prior to get blood results and they found I have some sort of blood disorder. I was at the doctors last week and they told me that there was nothing they could say yet! How long do I need to wait to find out what happend!!!!

My husband and I lost our first baby back in February.  It was the worst feeling I had physically and emotionally felt.  Unfortunately the doctor's couldn't give me any reason why it happened.  The more they said it was nothing I did, the more I felt like there was something I did.  You may never find out what happened but the best I say to you is that you can't predict these things and you can't stop them.  Your baby made a choice.  He or she physically struggled to stay but knew that it would be better to become your angel.  We came up with a nickname and know that our little one is watchign over us.  It will be okay, and you will get through it. 

 

Good luck and God bless. 

 
September 10, 2008, 8:22 am CDT

You will get through it, not ever it!

Quote From: jodieskinner

On February 12, 2008, my youngest child's 1st birthday, my husband and I found out that the baby I was carrying had died at 6 weeks.  I was 10 weeks along.  I had no idea there was anything wrong.  I went in for an ultra sound just because and they couldn't find a heartbeat.  It was awful.  The radiologist was horrible.  He said "I'm sorry.  You're going to lose it" and walked out.  He didn't say how long it would take or anything.  I walked around for over a week with a dead baby inside of me.  It was just the worst feeling I've ever had.  I felt like a tomb.  I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because I felt so disgusting.  I ended up having a D&C because my body just wouldn't let it go.

 

The worst part of the whole thing is the way that people responded.  My own parents suggested that I might be grateful because a few more months between our youngest and another baby wouldn't be such a bad thing.  Unbelievable!  This was their grandchild and they don't even care.  I had a baby and it DIED!  I don't understand how people can think that it doesn't matter just because it wasn't kicking of breathing.  It was still MY BABY and I wanted it!

 

It's been about 3 weeks and people don't understand why I'm not over it yet.  I don't know how you get over loosing a child.  I keep trying to picture him/her in my mind.  I just feel so empty and alone.  I still cry all the time.  I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up but then I think about my other kids and I just can't bear to leave them.

 

How do you move on from a loss that leave you so empty and alone?  A loss that rips your heart out and changes who you are?  I don't know!!

When I was in the hospital for our miscarriage, there was nothing they could do to stop it but since it started already they gave me a few options.  They told me that we could just wait until it completed itself, do an insert, or a D&C.  I couldn't handle waiting a week, 2 weeks, a month of bleeding to continue to "wait" for the baby to leave.  I opted for the inserts since the worst of the bleeding had already pasted. 

 

I can say that I empathize with you but I don't know exactly how you feel.  Everyone's loss is always different.  The Hospital continued to send letters that they were sorry for our loss, I think that was more the Army than anything.  But as I was just starting to get over the larger part of the hump, the letters would come again.  It has been almost 9 months and our baby's due date is coming up.  We had put it on the calender and then had to cross it off.  You will never get over losing a child, but you will get through it.  My husband went out to the Hallmark store a few weeks after and bought an angel statue.  He told me that it was our angel and that it would watch over us forever.  We keep it in our family room and it blesses us everyday!!!!  You could always find a symbol to help you know that your baby is always there. 

 

You will be okay!!!  You need to be for your oldest child!!! 

 

Good luck and God Bless!!!!

 
September 16, 2008, 3:46 pm CDT

After a loss & family...

I'm a married female who lives in Las Vegas.  My husband & I have been TTC #1 since June 2007.  We found out we were pregnant in March 2008.  Soon after, one of my cousin's sent me a text message saying that her younger sister (unmarried) was pregnant.  A couple weeks after that, I had a miscarriage.  I was angry, upset, hurt, resentful, you name it.  Ever since my loss, my cousin's (all sisters) have been treating me like crap.  They have been calling me a hater and jealous because I'm not pregnant, yet my cousin is.  It is so hurtful to hear this from family.  Especially since one of my cousin's has been through multiple losses before she had her first baby.  My cousin's have never treated me like this before.  They did a complete 180 overnight.  My cousin called me a hater and jealous in a huge blog on MySpace.  I feel very betrayed.  They just keep telling me to "get over it" and move on or else I'll never get pregnant again.

I don't understand how a family can treat another family member like this.  My cousin's blog has torn the family apart, yet she blames me for the blog tearing the family apart.  My cousin said she didn't care if she lost family over the blog.  That is really childish.  So yes, when my parent's read this blog, they were upset at my cousin.  They will not babysit for her anymore.  That's what caused my cousin to blame her blog on me for tearing the family apart.

I wasn't the one who threw our family business out on the internet saying that I didn't care if I lost family over it.  Why am I getting the blame for this?

I just don't understand.  I'm hurt.  I don't understand why my cousin, who was unmarried, was able to have twins, yet my husband & I lost our baby.  We just don't understand!!
 
October 19, 2008, 10:00 pm CDT

my loss

My name is Drew, I live in Ky. Me and my girlfriend of almost 7 years lost 2 before my girl was born. Also have lost two more after my son was born, with the last coming back in April of this year. We just found out with this past one it was twins and went in a couple weeks later to be told we lost both of them. Now she is pregnant once again. I fear her going through this again. Me being a man, I tear up just thinking about what we have been through. I know she dont show it but Its just messing her all up. So I know how you others fell I have lost 5 all together.
 
October 22, 2008, 3:00 pm CDT

I'm about to go crazy!!!

Hi, my name is Jen.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and I have been pregnant 4 times and have not had a child.  My husband is older than me and has 3 grown children, but I desperately want a child of my own. 

The first pregnancy lasted 13 weeks and I had a miscarriage.  The second pregnancy lasted 14 weeks and I miscarried twins.  The third pregnancy lasted 8 weeks and I again had a miscarriage.  The fourth pregnancy went great.  I was 32 weeks along and going to my weekly check ups.  I was ALREADY a high risk patient because of all the miscarriages and I went to the doctor on October 30, 2007 for a checkup and told the doctor that I had thrown up blood and spotted a little bit.  She was very busy that day and told me if it happened again to call her.  She never checked me to see if anything was going wrong though.  On November 1, I laid down to take a nap and when I woke up it felt like I was having a charlie horse in my lower abdomen.  I called the doctor and she said to just take a Tylenol and drink a glass of water and take a warm bath.  Well, it didn't get any better so I called again, the doctor told me that if I didn't feel better within an hour to come in.  Well, I didn't wait much longer and my husband drove me in.  When we got there it was too late, the baby was gone.  Then on top of all that, the doctor wasn't there so they wanted me to wait and have it naturally when my doctor got there the next day, even though the baby was dead.  They gave me too much Magnesium and it put me into a coma until 6:00 Friday morning.  When they woke me up they had to tell me everything again, because something had happened that cause me to lose all memory up to the day before.  I did finally give birth to a beautiful baby boy, Dakota Dale, later Friday, November 2, 2007.

I am now seeing a specialist and am have difficulty becoming pregnant.  They have done sooooo many tests on me and have no idea what is wrong with me.

My husband and I want so desperately to have a baby!  I can't help but feel if that doctor would have taken some different steps that our son would be turning ONE this November 2.

 
October 23, 2008, 9:00 am CDT

I understand!!!

Quote From: jspence07

I'm a married female who lives in Las Vegas.  My husband & I have been TTC #1 since June 2007.  We found out we were pregnant in March 2008.  Soon after, one of my cousin's sent me a text message saying that her younger sister (unmarried) was pregnant.  A couple weeks after that, I had a miscarriage.  I was angry, upset, hurt, resentful, you name it.  Ever since my loss, my cousin's (all sisters) have been treating me like crap.  They have been calling me a hater and jealous because I'm not pregnant, yet my cousin is.  It is so hurtful to hear this from family.  Especially since one of my cousin's has been through multiple losses before she had her first baby.  My cousin's have never treated me like this before.  They did a complete 180 overnight.  My cousin called me a hater and jealous in a huge blog on MySpace.  I feel very betrayed.  They just keep telling me to "get over it" and move on or else I'll never get pregnant again.

I don't understand how a family can treat another family member like this.  My cousin's blog has torn the family apart, yet she blames me for the blog tearing the family apart.  My cousin said she didn't care if she lost family over the blog.  That is really childish.  So yes, when my parent's read this blog, they were upset at my cousin.  They will not babysit for her anymore.  That's what caused my cousin to blame her blog on me for tearing the family apart.

I wasn't the one who threw our family business out on the internet saying that I didn't care if I lost family over it.  Why am I getting the blame for this?

I just don't understand.  I'm hurt.  I don't understand why my cousin, who was unmarried, was able to have twins, yet my husband & I lost our baby.  We just don't understand!!

I completely understand what you are going through.  I have had four pregnancies and no children.  The last pregnancy lasted 32 weeks.  It was just awful!!!!  I have struggled very much with jealousy and resentment.  It will be 1 year on November 2 and I have learned to deal with the jealousy, but I still do cry LOTS and still question why!!!!!

As far as family.........I UNDERSTAND!!!  My mom and dad do not approve of my husband and they have really NOTHING to do with me.  When I was pregnant with Dakota, I tried to tell my mom what was going on with my pregnancy, but she never wanted to hear about it.  I am an only child and I told her that I am her only chance of having a grandchild, but she didn't want to hear about it.  After I lost him, she didn't say ONE word until I went off the deep end to her.  Then she said she was sorry!

I have learned to lean on my husband completely.  If they (my blood family) don't want to be apart of my life, than that is their choice!

I hope things go better for you!  STAY STRONG!

 
January 27, 2009, 3:34 am CST

Pregnancy Loss

on da 25.08.07,I miscar.I was 8 wks pregn. it ws an awefull expernce! just when I got excited after seein the baby durin ultra sound, the same day i lost it. after a yr i understand God's will.I bought an angel,bib and also named the child which helped!
 
February 19, 2009, 1:45 pm CST

Still Hurting!!!

Hello All...i am a married 35 yr old female from alabama....my husband and i have been together for a little over a year now...we had known each other for about 15 yrs before we got together...i was married 2 times before and helped raise 3 wonderful step children who i loved with all my heart....shortly after we got together we found out i was pregnant with my first child..i had never been so excited in all my life...this was the whole i had in my life for so long it had finally been filled.....i had a wonderful pregnancy up untill i was 36 weeks along....i knew that morning when i woke up something was wrong with my baby....i went to the doctor and there was no heartbeat....i was devastated....my family was devistated....my doctors and nurses were wonderful...i had my son vaginally on the 4th of november 2008.Everyone thought it was cruel for my doctor to let me lay there and have the baby like that but i understood why she did and i am grateful for her thinking about my health.....It has been nearly 4 months now and i am still miserable and dont know what is going to happen in my life but with the love of my wonderful husband and my family and the lord above i will get thru this and if its the lords will i will have another baby.....
 
July 3, 2009, 10:20 pm CDT

the loss of my babies.

I'm Lea, and I'm 20. Having children was always a big part of my plan for the future. I always believed that I would be married before I even thought of having children. I met my now ex boyfriend while I was in school, 2 weeks after I started my senior year. Everything was okay, I felt like I was falling for him, but he changed after a while, became more moody, and his anger began to show, a side I hadn't seen before. I was a people pleaser, meaning I do everything I can to keep someone happy, no matter how much it hurt me. We had been dating 4 months, and since the 1st month, he had been nagging me to sleep with him, and I was a virgin at the time, I made of excuses, told him no, pretty much anything I could think of, and finally I got so tired of the nagging and complaining, and at the time I didn't want to lose him, so I gave it up. Well, 3 short weeks later, after having a bunch of the symptoms of being pregnant, I took a test, or two, and they were positive, it made me so happy, but I wasn't sure how he would react, so I hadn't told him, I was pretty much scared to. Weeks had past, and I hadn't told anyone, but my best friend, not even my mom knew. I was 6 weeks and 5 days, when I got into an arguement with him over something stupid, and he walled off, losing his temper, and punched me really hard in the stomach, after that, something wasn't right, and about 48 hours later, I miscarried with my son(I found out through a baby predictor calendar what he was going to be), after that, I didn't say anything to anyone about it, except maybe 2 people, those being my close friend, and my sister. My second loss came a bit differently though, I made a mistake, and slept with a guy that I never should of slept with, and once again I got pregnant. There was so much stress going on in my life, it was so horrible, and I knew that I was going to lose him too, I had severe pain in my stomach for weeks after finding out, and then on March, 17th of this year, I lost him, just like I thought I was going to. It was so scary, and it worries me now that there may be something wrong with my body, I'm not functioning like I'm suppose to, and I hope to god that I don't end up being infertile. That would really hurt, because ever since I was little, I've always loved, and wanted children of my own. Anyone have any advice on how to cope? I'm still having a hard time with everything.
 
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