Topic : Pregnancy Loss

i was not here from the old board, but i've been on for months. not to many people write here anymore. I'm happy to hear that u already have to children, because I think if I had children prior to my experiences that maybe i wouldn't feel so bad. I'm not sure if u have read my postings. Please read them if you can. I read your posting andit sounds so much like how I feel everyday that it would probably be good to talk. I write on here and sometimes it takes days for any one else to write.  I'm sure once the baby comes it won't be so bad. I find seeing a pregnant women makes me feel sad and other feelings to but when the baby is here i notice it all goes away!!! My name is Tiffany. If you ever want to talk just post cause i check it like every hour...

Hey there Tiffany, I know I've read your postings. Lately, my focus on these boards has been with another message board and a poster who's such a bully towards other women that it's revolting. I was reading the bulletin board at the stillnomore site - was that your recent posting that I saw?  

There is a good posting there from a lady who talks about what her doctor told her. Essentially, her doctor told her that the pain doesn't lessen but you do get better at handling it. That is so true. I know I've said this before but it bears repeating. You are going through a process and healing takes time. It is awesome that you are proactively reaching out for the support that you want and need. Those are signs of your inner strength and survival mode and, yes, I know that it completely stinks that you have to do this. That's true for all of us. None of us can change what happened but hopefully, our experiences can help change things for other women. 

  

The stillnomore site now has an optimum pregnancy management guide. They recommend giving it to OBs and at least having a discussion about management to reduce stillbirth risk. The statistics on stillbirth are shocking but that information seems to be as guarded as state security. Factor in those pregnancy losses that are classed as miscarriages and the numbers skyrocket. 

  

Have you tried out the chat room at stillnomore? (I haven't) Also, if you haven't already, check Yahoo!Groups. I suspect that there are some very active support groups out there where you may be able to get faster feedback than on this site. Don't get me wrong - this is a great site but for people who are needing frequent feedback (daily or hourly if that's what is needed now), this site won't do it for you. At Yahoo! click on Groups, then Health and Wellness, then Support, then Mourning and Loss, then that horrible Loss of Child selection comes up. One group, angelmoms, has had over 2000 messages posted in this month. Just scroll through the different listings.Some will have messages available to nonmembers, others not. I hope this helps. 

  

BTW, Tiffany, I don't know if you would feel "less bad" if you already had children. As I've said so many times before, grief is very individual. Having other children might help some women to not feel as bad but that might not be true for others. It helped me because I had to maintain normal routines and function even when it was very hard. Just take care of you and find what works for you. This is one area where comparing yourself to others could be very unhelpful. And don't forget, there are lots of counselors out there now who understand grief and pregnancy loss. If nothing else, a counselor is another adult to talk to, and someone who can give you feedback that helps you to progress and move forward. 

  

Just do what you need to do to take of you. It is awesome how you reach out to others for what you need and, at the same time, you respond to others. 

hey chikara. nice to see your posting !!!!believe me!!!!!  Have a question for you. I go see the OB. who delivered my baby. Takes people months to see her. I'm not even pregnant and she squeezed me in. I wanted to ask her everything and anything, but now i sit hear and have no idea what i want to ask or say. The appointments is on the 5 of april. I've been waiting for this day and for me to be strong enough. It's not so much  the how's and why's because i know. It's like i want to know whats going to be done next time what will be different i'm not even sure. i don't want to go in there with nothing do u know what I mean!! what should i ask her about.

I feel so lost and don't know where to turn, or even why I am so depressed. I did not want to have another child and only found out that I was preg. because of the problems but I found out this morning that I am eight weeks along and the baby has died. I have done nothing but cry! This little child is dead inside of me, for some reason my body is trying to hold on to it. I just need someone to talk to

Hi. If you haven't gone into the hospital or back to the doctor, then hopefully you'll see the first so you'll know that someone saw your posting. You are not alone. If you already went to back to the doctor, then hopefully you'll see this afterwards. You were not alone and someone heard your voice.  

  

I am so sorry and sad for what you are going through. The many thoughts running through your mind, and the many feelings, can be very overwhelming. Minute by minute, you can move through the physical processes that are going on. Little by little, you can move through the emotional process. I hope that you can call someone or that your husband/partner is there for you. If ever there is a good time to have help, this is it! 

  

There is a much more active support board on this site. Go to Message Boards>Beyond the Headlines>News and Current Events>A Place to Find True Friends and Support. Also, the Health>Depression and Grief>Depression board is active 24 hours a day and you will be able to find someone to talk to at any hour. 

  

Yahoo!Groups also has active support. See the linkings in my posting to Tiffany (pleazhelp) above. My heart goes out to you along with all of the love and caring that I can possibly communicate through cyberspace. 

Hi again. How are you? Please go on over to the depression message board. There are already people there thinking about you and posting. You have a whole world of people out here who have never met you but hold you in their hearts and minds as if you were right here in our own living room. You are not alone. 

  

Please also check out this website: www.pamsupport.org It's a pregnancy after miscarriage site and is a bonanza of information and support. Everyone there can relate to exactly what you aregoing through. 

  

Please let us know how you are doing. 

I am so sorry that you have lost your baby. Below is a number of online counselors who are there 24 hours a day. You have found everyone here too. Also, a Social Worker at hospital and chaplain might have some support groups for you too. Plus, you have found all of us too. Some boards are more active like the Depression Message Board and any board for most current show on Dr. Phil each day. Just do what you did here and say you'd like someone to talk to or go to FREE online counselors below etc. Keep reaching out like you are until you find the help that helps. Hugs and someone just prayed for you and your baby. SEA

HOUROFPOWER.ORG has 24 hour New Hope & Teen Hope online counselors

www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html

Hi here is a link http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz

Hugs and someone just prayed for you and your baby too. GOD Bless you and kiddykat22 and those dear to you and all here A LOT. SEA

HOUROFPOWER.ORG has 24 hour New Hope & Teen Hope online counselors

www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html

Hi Tiffany, I have read some of your postings and I cant tell you how very sorry I am for you loss.  I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who feels this way.  I hate it though, I'm not normally a jealous person.  I love my life and my kids are the center of it.  I don't know if having 2 kids already made it any easier, but it definitely gave me some thing to concentrate on.  I threw myself into every little thing they needed.  I went and brought them a baby present last night and I do feel a little better.  I guess I am started to realize that I WILL have another baby.  Its just a question of when. 

I've have read the posting from everyone else to you and they all have one thing in common.  We all tell you your not alone.  And its true, your not.  Everyone here has been through this experience.  We have all felt the pain, grief, confusion and have asked the question "Why?"  Just know that we are all here to help you.  This site is a fantastic opportunity for women on common ground to support each other and ask for help.  We are all here for you Hun.