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Topic : 07/19 Mind Your Business

Number of Replies: 274

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Created on : Friday, May 05, 2006, 07:03:49 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 05/11/06) They go through your wallet, they trace your phone calls, they even get in their car to follow your every move. They’re meddlesome, nosy people who love to snoop! Dr. Phil’s guests are fed up with loved ones who can't seem to stay out of their business. Carla, 31, says she's tired of her mother, Pamela, tracking her every move, day and night. Pamela says having a house right behind her daughter makes keeping an eye on her easy. She even cut down Carla's hedges so she could see better! Does this backyard buttinsky know best, or does she need to stay on her side of the fence? Then, Christie is so obsessed with snooping on her husband, Shannon, that she reads his e-mails, checks his phone messages and even smells his clothes just to make sure he's not cheating on her. Shannon says he has no privacy and is contemplating leaving his wife. What's behind Christie's constant snooping and interrogations? Plus, a mom who says as long as her children live under her roof, she has the right to eavesdrop on their phone calls, read their diaries, and even search through their clothes while they're sleeping! Is she crossing the line? Share your thoughts here.

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dr4feet

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August 9, 2006, 4:22 am PDT

07/19 Mind Your Business

Quote From: feaselj

WOW your situation is in some waysis the same but a little different. My question to you is, what are you going to do about it? I continue to tell my ex that all I need is time away from him but I am not sure that time can even heal the pain. After so long of a marriage dont you feel like its worth working out? I guess I just can't understand why anyone would want to hurt someone like that. I think that its the worst feeling in the world, my self-esteem is shattered, my independence no longer exsists, I am like a little lost puppy dog and I am not sure what direction is home. I have been walking around consuming my life with deciding on what to do about my situation and I have no clue. After two weeks you think this would get easier.

After 5 mos. it still isn't easier. I thought yesterday's show Cheaters was great and really hit on some of the things I'm feeling and some of the answers I'm looking for. I feel I need answers before I can move forward. I need to understand it before I can fix it. I can't just say, "Oh well" and move on. I want to know Why? What were you thinking? Why couldn't you talk to me? What did I do that was so bad? Weren't you thinking about the ramifications to our life, marriage, children?? And, most importantly, why did it go on so long? Why didn't you cut me loose 10 yrs. ago when I was that much younger instead of wasting 10 yrs of my life with you? Now, every photo, every memory I have is a lie. She couldn't have been genuinely laughing, enjoying, or caring if she had another guy. When I think about this too much I have to stop or it feels my head is going to burst.

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ajbeth

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August 30, 2006, 10:27 am PDT

It's ok

Quote From: intence

I have the same problem, I would just like to know exaclty how we develop these extreamly exhausting habits...why is it so hard to just let go? I wish that the dr.phil show would make a show about this and go deeper into this matter. It really is a temporary fix, and it opend my eyes when he asked Christie what would happen if her fears became facts and she said she would survive and its true for me.I would survive, but its the getting over someone part that i dont want to go though again...I know ln my mind what i do when i look through my boyfriend's things, but its that emotional urge that i cant seem to control. I mean i know its wrong and what makes me less obsessed is that i get rid of everything I can that can make him cheat on me...like internet, his friend's phone numbers etc...Its not a control issue like a power trip thing, its deeper then that, its a personal thing. It's something that should be treated cuz it is like a drug and if you'r an addict and you dont get help, you'll always need that "fix"...

Hi. I am just now seeing your message. I just want to let you know, you're right. You do need more help. You should try to see about talking to a therapist. It absolutely goes deeper. There are probably family issues that have driven you to this point.....as in my case. After talking with a local therapist, I found that I do this because of all the insecurities I had growing up. I do this to my spouse because he is the ONLY secure thing I have and am comfortable enough to be me. Yet, I obsess with it because I feel as if I am prepare for the "what ifs" I can't get hurt as bad. Well that isn't true either. I cannot prevent the "what ifs" I can only prepare for them. I can't dwell on them because they may NEVER happen. You're right as far as the getting through the "getting over" part. But which do you think is easier? Continuing your nosey behavior and having a stressful relationship continuously, or possibly having it happen one time and being able to move on? Luckily I am still with my husband and he has become more understanding of why I do the things I do. However, I have improved tremendously since therapy (he too went a few times). I would recommend it to anyone in a relationship no matter what the issue(s) may be. Good luck to you and let me know if I can or did help.

Sincerely,

Christie (from the show)

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ludmilla

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September 17, 2006, 8:00 pm PDT

snooping mothers

Have just watched the show about the snooping mothers...Outrageous! I really don't think that Mother got it when Dr. Phil spoke about boundaries. The sooner the thirty-one year old daughter moves away...the better. Absolutely no respect for her daughter whatsoever.

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January 2, 2007, 4:48 pm PST

what happened after

Quote From: azuil1

I'm not sure what her lies and suspicions where...however she cannot evict you without due cause and if it went to court and you still wound up evicted, there must have been justification for it.

Well, after it was all over with, she was investigated and ended up losing her job. It seems she was using HUD money elsewhere and once they stepped in and went over all the books. Well, like I said; she wasn't there long afterward.

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