Topic : Should We Get Pregnant?

Hi,

I'm 30 years old and I have a 7 years old kid from my first marriage. My second (current) husband lost his first kid, but everything is fine with his second - he has a 7 years old daughter.

I want to have another kid, I'm young and healthy and I think it's a good time to get pregnant. But my husband does not want to have any more kids. He says that our kids are grown up, therefore it's time for us to live - to travel, to do crazy things... A baby would put some constrains on our life therefore it is out of question.

What should I do? How can I convince my husband that a baby is good and it's time? In a couple of years it would be just too late to have a baby!!!

You hear Dr. Phil say it all the time (life is negotiable). This doesn't sound like one of his famous "deal breakers" to me.  Try talking to your husband about either traveling now then having another one, or vice versa. Negotiate with him.  Find out if he objects to having a child totally first.  With all the technology that's around these days, there's no way I would say that at 30 you're too old.  I personally, am going that route too.  The magic number they say is 40.  That's when your chances of pregnancy dramatically drop.  Being almost 39 and divorced myself, I have no other alternative unless God drops a man who wants a baby as badly as I do in my lap before my appointment with my fertility doctor.  I'm in a state where the law says insurance companies HAVE to pay for some of infertility costs.  It's called the Family Planning Act here.   See what your insurance will cover in your state.  Then, go travel and let your man get it out of his system.   

Hi Lorraine,  

How are you doing? Are you still trying to get pregnant?? My husband and I are working on it..  I am going to give it 6 months, and i if I cant get pregnant i will get some test done. I will keep you in prayer that all goes well..  

God bless  

 Anne  

Well, here's the update.  I had an appt. on the 4th and found out I have to have another HSG test.  Ouch that's gonna hurt!!  Blood was drawn and further tests have to be done.  Now, for the best news...  you know how we all have that list in our heads of what we are looking for in a partner?  Well, funny thing... I met someone who fits everything (and yes I do mean everything) on my list.  Furthermore, he says I meet all of his list.  He had decided to just pray and let things go whatever way God wanted them to go.  Then he meets me.  So, after careful thought, I explained about my pending dr. appt. and here's the funny thing.  He not only supports the idea, he went with me.  Met the dr. and everything.  Things are moving at a fast pace, but at my age I don't have the luxury of time.  But when there's so many things that just fall into place, how do you just ignore it?  We're planning to stay together and give leave things in God's hands.  He has the ultimate say in babies, but we will work with the dr. and see what the tests say.  Minimum, I'll have to have an IUI procedure.  Sperm testing still has to be completed on my honey first.  Wow, it's amazing how things have gone.  I just have to leave things in God's hands too.  If nothing seems to go our way, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.  Blessings to you and thanks for listening to me ramble.  Now if I could the stupid grin off my face...  

My fiance and I have known each other for years as friends and we got engaged in January. I've always known he wanted children, but I don't and I had my tubes tied years ago after my son was born (baby #2). We had talked about having another baby, but I've been very clear that I am reluctant to the idea. We agreed we would abide by what the doctor said. Well the doctor results have come back and I've been told that whereas its might be possible for me to successfully have a baby, with the surgery and failure rate and all that, its not a good idea for my age and health. In fact, my trusted doctor is asking me to consider a hysterectomy.  

My concern is this... I don't want to have any more children and I'm relieved the doctor doesn't feel its in my best interests physically. My fiance has seemingly accepted this decision. Howver, I am concerened that in giving up his dream of fatherhood, he will later come to resent me in spite of the fact that he knew going in this was a strong possibility. I have actually considered breaking things off with him because I know how important having children has always been to him. He tells me that he understood all this and is fully aware that he won't have children with me. Am I justifiably worried about his later resentment of me regarding this, or am I stressing myself out over nothing?