Topic : Should We Get Pregnant?

Hey there, 

  

I realize that you really want another baby.  You are still so young and have so many child bearing years left.  It is so much easier to handle one over caring for two.  My best advice is to wait until your child is about 3 years old before having another baby.  It will be a lot more manageable to care for two when they are a little further apart in age.   

First off thank you for replying to my messages on here! My boyfriend and I have thought about marriage and a family after and a family and marriage. I personally believe in getting engaged if I was pregnant and then @ least I would know marriage would happen afterwards. But getting married to him before the baby arrives would be ideal for me aswell. He has said to me that he would be getting me a ring as soon as he gets the money for it which would be sometime this month...or even putting a depoist on one would be good enough for me. But in all honestly I want a child with this man because we've talked about it for a long time now and I think it would a perfect time for it to happen if it was to happen...NOW would be good! How do I get him to hurry it up on the process because I am excited for it to happen...but I know good things happen to those who wait! 

  

Thanks again for taking the time to read my message(s). 

  

  

I have recently been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors have advised that I have my children now if I plan to have them.  I just got married in June.  We have always planned on having children but we wanted to wait until I was out of school.  I have a full time job and I'm just taking a class here and there so graduation is not in the near future. I my husband said we should have children now, but I can't help but feel guilty for forcing this on him earlier than planned.  He has never made me feel guilty about this but deep down I know that he doesn't want children right now.  How do I stop feeling guilty?  Does this mean I shouldn't have kids?  

  

Concerned and scared. 

  

Sarah Amador 

Hi   I can understand how you can want a baby even though you have five other children between you.  I have 4 children 11, 7, 6, and 3months.  i'm a pom and I come from a huge family, although I only have my younger sister and my mum and dad here in Australia.  My mum,dad and sister all live an hour away from me also.  My husband doesn't have anything to do with his side of the family apart from his step dad and he is absolutely wonderful and we all love him dearly.  So because I know the value of cousins and aunty's and uncles I cherished of my family and miss it so much I truely want that for my children also,  though my husband doesn't quite see the same and see's of having a big family a burden, and doesn't want to be working until he is 65 years of age.  The promblem is I do understand his point of view also.  But I do want him to do what I want also. 

Love samantha 

  

Hi all again...I just am worried and confused about what should go on with the people now a days and the decisions that they make in there lives. Don't get me wrong we all make some familiar mistakes in our lives as well but thats because we all have to learn somehow.  If I lets say get pregnant  with my fiancee and we don't work out...I am alright with that because I will no matter what be there for my child no matter how, no if, ands, or buts. I will also have my child's father in his or her life as well because I believe that that should be a rightfully decision to do for them (the child) because they have no say until they're 18 and no matter what there is only one father for my child for life! Another confusion  that I have is that I know I need a counselor for my problems, you know someone to tell all my issues and ask questions to...this isn't any harm if I would need a counselor before I get pregnant is it? I would think that getting the help now would be better then later...because later seems to always to either to late or never! Thats what I've Learned anyhow. Please anyone READ THIS AND RESPOND...I want to listen...and if you have and similar issues please spiel!  

 Thanks once again for listening! 

Trying to get pregnant is something you decide together, as a couple.... 

  

Why don't you just concentrate on school first, finished that, and enjoy life together with your boyfriend. You are still so young, enjoy your freedom for a while. 

  

You are definitely not ready to have a baby, if you don't discuss this with your boyfriend. Don't have secrets for him, that is just not right, and not the right way trying to start a family.... 

You are not married - so don't get pregnant.  Duh.  You would be stupid to get pregnant now.

I've always heard people say, "We should have children when we have enough money."  Which is a good thing to go by, but will anyone ever have enough money for children?  Now a days the cost of raising a child is ridiculous.  Formula alone is outragious and not to mention diapers, wipes, clothes, crib, car seats, and food for when they get older.  Oh, and doctor bills, those are fun.  Still, we would not have changed our ways of deciding if my husband and I were ready for a baby, not one bit.  We were young when we had our children.  We dated for two years, lived together for 3 months before we got married ( a little test run) and then got married.  We both wanted children and thought that if we had them young enough we would be able to keep up with them and still remember some of things we tried to pull over on our parents.  I was 19 and my husband was 20 when we had our first.  As soon as I held my son, I knew I wanted more.  When I was 22  I had my next and we both decided that two was a good number, that would keep us busy enough.  The good thing with the second child is that you can reuse some of the items that you used with child one.  Our second was a girl so that posed a little problem with clothes, but we had good help.  We rent a home, have decent vehicles, my husband is a manager at a fortune 50 company, and we are not supported by the state.  We wanted these children and have worked hard to keep them clothed, fed, and warm.  If we would have waited till we had "enough" money, our children probably wouldn't be here and we wouldn't know the kind of love children can bring.

Hello, I saw your first message on here and wanted to reply but couldnt find it again. I feel so much the same as you. I do have kids but I so understand that burning to have another child. It just fulfills me so much. No one who doesnt feel that way could ever understand it. I had my tubes tied, too, but had invitro later. Invitro turned out to be cheaper , it was about four to five thousand dollars. The medications are a big part of the expense, if you have prescription coverage it makes a huge difference. Now I have four year old twin girls, and I adore them so much! I do still have that burning, but now that I am older it is fading more. There is just nothing in this world like being pregnant and having a new baby. It is the only time in my life that I have ever been truly happy, and my kids are my whole life.  Without them, I truly would be at a loss as to what would fulfill me at all. I have not encountered anything else in my lifetime that takes tiny lil me and makes me truly matter. I worry that I'm somehow just a sick twisted person, but it just keeps coming back to the fact that I just adore my children.  Feel free to email me if you want.

Sorry I forgot this in my other reply, is  the one of your kids w/asymmetrical sides Klippel-trenaunay syndrome? Thats what my daughter is. Just wondered if we had that in common too. Did you have low amniotic fluid when you carried him? They are researching this at the mayo clinic in rochester, minnesota. We went there last summer with her. They have a website if you're interested. They are also doing genetic testing for it. You can email me if you want, I think you can click on my profile on here. I dont get on these boards very often, I dont know if you do. Maybe we'll connect later somehow. karen