Topic : 08/31 Son-in-Law vs. Mother-in-Law

I have been married to my wonderful husband for 7 years.  I know it sounds awful that I am his third wife.  This marriage is the longest one he has ever had and we are looking forward for many more years.  His first two marriages lasted  one to two years.  His ex wives and I became friends.  I really did not understand why their marriages were not successful. I discovered that they were really sweet.. I could not figure the reasons out for their divcores.  I asked them why.  They said that his mother drove them away.  II went, "Ahh yeah! "  It did not surprise me at all.   I am amazed at myself  that I was able to put up with my mother n law a little.  There were times I was tempted to leave my husband.  But, I remembered my vows and  I cannot break them. I refused to betray our Heavenly Father.   I tried many times to get my husband to woke up and see what she was trying to do.  We had so many fights.  He slowly began to see her bad ways.  When it was the first time my husband told his mother to stop it.  She was shocked and it was really hard for her to see her son siding with me.  She ran out crying.  Of course, he felt so bad.  I comforted him and told him that was the good thing he did that.  It was ok for her to cry.  She would get over with that.  She needed to understand that she had to back off.  There were the boundries.... Unfortunely, it did not stop her.  

My mother who does not like her but she loves my husband just like he is her own son, advised me that it would be better if we move far away from her.  Then we woud see if my mother n law 's naggings have stopped or reduced.  We did moved an hour away from her.  It did help a little bit,.  We still went visiting her.  I still had to suffer listening to her naggings and had the fights with my husband.  At that time, the weather's heat was killing me. I could not bear with this heat.  I was dreaming of somewhere else cooler. This just gave me an idea about moving out of the state. My husband was afraid of the unfamiliar places. I suggested to visit this state then we would decide what would be the best for our family. We went to that state, he fell in love with the nature, the community, weather, and education.  He said GO FOR IT without me asking him if he would want to move to that state.....  We finally moved to this new beautiful state, my mother n law wrote me many ugly letters.  SHe really hated my guts.  She said that I stole him and her grandchildren away from him.  The letters really upset my husband.  He did not speak to her for two years.  At the same time, our marriage was on the way to the top.  We have became really close.

Well, I refuse to leave his mother n law alone in the black hole.  While my husband refused to speak or visit her, I brought our children to the home state for visiting her   I know that children need their grandparents in their lives..  But. the visits were always very brief like.. one or two days each Summer or Winter.  It was because she kept bringing the problems up.  She began to keep her words to herself and her grandchildren began to stay there longer than two days.  She learned to accept me slowly.  She realized that  I am a good person...I think,,,.  Still, we have not been that close, yet.  My husband finally talks to her once  every one or two months.   Yes she still nags just a bit, it does not bother me that much. 

It has been four years since we moved here,  this Summer will be my husband's first time visiting his homestate.  I am sure that his mother would cry when she sees him. It will touch my heart....:)