Topic : 08/31 Son-in-Law vs. Mother-in-Law

Doctor In Law Mother Phil Son Verse. Oh no not again. Oh I wish it was not true at all. See you tom-

orrow Afternoon. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell

I watched the show today.  What I saw was a loving committed couple, with a beautiful child.  I also saw a self-serving Mother-in-law.  It was very wrong for this Mother-in-law not to protect her daughter and defend her honor, when another family member harmed her, both physically and

emotionally.  I don´t have this history, but I did watch the show today.  What I did see is the husband really loves and honors his wife, the mother of his child.  As, Dr Phil stated, they are the family now!  Also the young mother who endured this trauma as a young innocent woman carries a lot of pain,

from the lack of honor from her mother.  When she said that to be a Grandparent is an HONOR, not a priviledge, that rung true in my heart.

After all the cross communication and heartfelt words, the Grandmother, only stated that she would do anything to see her grandchild.  I did not understand her lack of compassion towards her own daughter.  Also, wouldn´t she love the father of her grandchild too?  It´s a package deal.  I side with the parents on this one. Since this Grandmother did not honor and protect her own daughter, why

would she be trusted with the young grandchild.  I think that the only way that this Grandmother should be allowed to see her grandchild, is with the parents standing by at all times.  She should be thanking her lucky stars that her daughter has anything to do with her.  Also, what was the reason for sabotaging her son-in-law?  These parents need to go with their gut instincts.

I know what I´m talking about.  I was physically and emotionally abused by a parent, and Grandparents.

I have had the honor of parenthood, now grandparenting.  Each and everyone of us needs to be accountable for what we say and do to children.  I consider myself a children´s advocate for the above listed reasons.  Children should be seen and heard.  They are 25% of the population and 100% of the future. 

I watched the show today.  And the thing that hit me the most, besides the horrible relationship with the mother vs. her daughter and son-in-law, was the fact that the man stated that his wife has some family members that blame her, at age 15, for a rape that occured by an adult male family

member.  Excuse me, but since when is it NOT the responsbility of the adult to know better.  She is a minor, I have better ethical and moral knowledge than to touch a 15 year old girl, let alone rape her.  This World we live in has some of the most ass-nine, brain dead people in it that can attempt

to make society believe that the raper is the victom.  Sorry Charlie, you are dead wrong in your way of thinking.  My daughter was raped by a man I trusted to rent a room from me, many years ago.  When my daughter told me what happened, he was immediately told to move out.  The only reason there was not a trial is because of society, and knowing that my daughter was to fragile to go thru

the rediculousness of a trial where they will try to twist it to make her equally responsible.  She was 12.  He was 48 or so.  He knew better.  I am glad he moved out of the State that I live in.  My daughter will forever be remembered of that event, because it happened on her father's birthday.

As far as the busy body mother in today's show, she needs to cut ties with that relative now.  She needs to get behind her daughter and show love and support and be a decent person, if she ever

expects her daughter to allow the grandma to be a part of her babies life.

"I have absolutely no doubt that everything Anneka is saying was fed to her before the show by Michael. "

Does that include her rape?  Marsha is being Marsha?  Hey what's a little rape between mother and daughter?

Thank you for sharing such intelligent information.  I couldn´t have said it any better.  I did write my own response to today´s show.  I respect the work that you do, and your knowledge.  I am glad that a person like yourself took the time to write from your point of view.  I agree with, not feeding a two year old peanut butter.  You don´t just do things to defy the parents, then hurt the child.  This is NOT a game.  This Grandmother is NOT responsible for her actions!  As I saw her on the show, she did not even show that she felt any compassion or empathy for her daughter´s pain.  It was just that she would do ANYTHING to see her grandchild.  Hmmm I wonder what that means?  I also noticed that this woman did not ever seem loving. 

After watching today's show, I can't help but dread what will be waiting for me in a few years. My fiance and his stepmom never got along due to the fact that she was partly responsible for his parents' divorce. I fully understand how bitter he can be, but nearly a year ago, after trying to mend things and just being civil with her, I had a fallout with her. I am not here to defend myself, nor to explain myself, but the fallout occured over the fact that we were too young to know what was right for us. Perhaps, I should've mentionned that we're both in our mid twenties and we're not young teens.

 Since then, we have not been on speaking terms and it is getting more and more difficult for me to see my future father in law. He came to see us twice in a year since the incident and my fiance has gone to their house approximately 5 times since then. I on the other hand, have not seen her nor am I ready to confront her. My fiance doesn't want me facing that woman again and I commend him for stepping up for me and defending me when it was the time to do so. 

Watching today's show just made me think about the future. In a few years, we're going to have children and at the time being, we have no intention on allowing her to see our children. I don't want to have to go through all the turmoil. We definitely want to include the "grand-father" in the picture once we have kids, but we certainly don't want the "step-grand-mother" anywhere near our child. Let me describe my future in-law. She's a raging alcoholic yet she doesn't seem to realize it. She smokes like a chimeney despite having us tell her that I have difficulty breathing if people smoke. She likes to butt her noise in everybody's business and to tell you the truth, we're afraid of the woman. We always think that someday, she'll turn into a psycho and physically harm us all. Anyways, I am not here to justify my anger towards her, rather, I am here to ask you this: are we being horrible people for wanting to cut her out of our lives forever? Are we insane for wanting to cut out any "unhealthy" relationships or individuals from our lives before we start our family?